Socializing as a hobby...

[JonMiller]

People use to socialize with their neighbors...

JM

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[kevlite2020]

I do have neighbors, but living in an 300+ unit apartment complex no one actually even says hi to each other, and you barely see each other. Kinda sad...

do you have a pool in your complex, or a hang out area in the lobby? sometimes I'll head to the pool and try to chat up my neighbors out there

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[PaulDavid]

Really its about breaking the ice.

You can be at the perfect place but if you don't break the ice... nothing will happen.

It's not where you are but what you do.

Thats why drunk people get so sociable.. They lose their inhibitions "What do I say? What if I smell? What if I'm ugly? What if what if what if what if" Nope.. they just "Hey.. baby.. you are beeee to the eutiful.. my name is bleh, whats yours?" Yeah you know they are drunk but.. their silliness is funny and you talk to them.. especially if you are drunk.

Don't go getting drunk or anything but learn from them. What if you just... just did it?

Throw out the "I cant I cant it's too tough I don't wanna I'm not good enough" thats the devil chaining you down, obviously you want more than what you have because you made this thread so turn this into a nike situation and just do it

Practice on strangers if you are scared, go to someplace you never go, so if you totally bomb it you know you'll never have to face them again.. then just go up to someone "Hi I'm me, I thought you were <something> whats your name?"

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[JonMiller]

I think it would be nice to be in an area where I got to know my neighbors. I haven't since I graduated highschool, really (maybe a bit in the dorms).

Foreigners can be cool, I agree that they often stick to themselves though.

My experience for apartment complexs is that they will keep charging more and more. It got to the point that I was leaving, for some place over 100$ per month cheaper (like 150?). I mentioned it to my apartment complex as I was doing so, and they said that I could have another apartment close to where mine was, that was nicer, for 150$ per month cheaper than I was paying!

I think that they had just kept asking for more and more per month because they could, and they knew I would stay there.

JM

 

[BarelyBreathing]

I appreciate you clarifying, but I am still confused who tribulation has anything to do with structure? They are two different concepts? I am not getting the analogy??

May I explain?

Ignore the tribulation thing if it confuses you more. In fact, ignore the entire last post of his if it confuses you more. It was simply an exampleof how to understand his first post.

What he is saying (and correct me PaulDavid if I am wrong), that Structure leads to Security, and Security leads to Safety, and Safety leads to... etc. Like a flow chart. One gives way to the next.

Structure --> Security --> Safety --> Comfort --> Lowered Guard --> Openness --> Happiness

Which could then ultimately be interpreted that Structure leads to Happiness.

 

[StarryEyes]

Paul I'm gonna write those down.. cuz I am more apt to open up/talk to people when all those other things happen first

 

[white dove]

That is very interesting, Hiking. I'm not like you at all in this respect. I've always viewed socializing as more of a natural by-product of living, basically. It's important, but I don't go out of my way to do it. It just happens naturally.. or it doesn't happen at all. Sometimes, though, I feel like I have to "make the rounds" and socialize (typically in business settings), just to keep the positive rapport up. It doesn't mean I don't like those people, just that we might have very little in common or something, but I still want to keep a connection there.

It's interesting to see someone else's side of things though. Good thread!

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[Riddik7]

Yeah, I can go days without seeing people in my day to day work, except for work, so for me it is not a by-product of day to day living. But yes, I have been other places in my life where it happened more often...let's say when I lived with my parents! Not that was a lot of socialization, their place can be live grand central station somedays!

I think sometimes when a person spends alot of time alone with no interaction it can make them start to crave socializing more while other times people are around so much that someone just wants to get away from the world and they can become solitary... but then it can also go just the oposite as well...

personaly i think maybe why i crave socializing is i never realy had much in my life... and i always remember the old classic movies where theres a big family or what have you meeting at a house for the holidays or a group of friends whoes friendship can't be broken by anything as they travel across the country... hmmm whatever happened to those good wholesome movies...

 

[PaulDavid]

I don't agree that structure leads to happiness, it is God and doing his will no matter if that means it is a structured will or unstructured will that leads to happiness. Job certainly didn't have structure when his world collapsed, but he still sought God and happiness through him.

Structure doesn't always mean "good things at certain times"

You have structure in many non fun places. In prison, you have a certain time that you eat, a certain time you sleep, a certain time the guards beat you up.. Its hectic at first but in time you KNOW that certain things happen at a certain time and you begin to set your life schedule around the structure of your environment.

Jobs life wasn't that hectic, it was just tramatic, he lost everything in a snap of Gods finger.. then hit a long draught. His structure revolved around nagging visits from his wife and "friends".

Take a look at Children.. the ones who are well adjusted and happy are the ones who live in a what environment? Structured.

Children who move often, are uprooted and tossed around without having any real schedule to their lives have a difficult time relaxing and adjusting to society because structure provides security and on down the line ultimately leading to happiness.

If you bring a an abandoned child into your home, and provide a set bed time, a set wake time, and set meal times for that child and NEVER say anything to him/her about it... before long that child begins to feel naturally happier and they do not even know why.. it's because of structure.

God doesn't appear and give us all the elements of life in a basket. We don't say "God.. only you can make me happy, I refuse to accept it from my home or my family or anything else." We should rather say "Lord, who formed the Universe by Your word, who has given me family and friends that love me and has placed structure within my life.. I thank you."

Summary, Structure provides those things, yes it does. God provides structure. Nothing on this earth comes to us that does not pass by His hands first.

God Bless,

PaulDavid

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[Riddik7]

For children, experts are now saying that children's time is too structured, and that children do not have enough time for creativity and play in a non-structured manner. Too much soccer practice, boyscouts, etc. When do they get to be a kid and enjoy life? For that matter, when do adults who are overscheduled get to take time to smell the roses? It is the rose smelling moments in life that get me closer to God, since I have the time and nothing else on my plate to see the beauty in HIS creation.

ug i remember far to well how that was... i think i had only 1 summer to myself and that i still ended up working half of at a camp... i try to make up for it now as an adult.. every once in a while i take time off to just goof off... and i am very partial to my weekends now that i actualy have them to myself...

 

[hikingchick77]

^^^

 

[Riddik7]

heh ya i never had time for a job between JROTC, Boy scouts, Civili Air Patrol, Demolay, Youth Group, Church, and starting college early...