Social Anxiety

[JC4uNme]

Anyone have any suggestions on how to overcome social anxiety? This might sound stupid to some of ya, but I have a real hard time going somewhere that i'm not comfortable. I have a hard time going to the grocery store because I might have to actually say something to someone. I'm having a hard time going to church even because I have to talk to people. I have passed up a good job opportunity because i'm afraid of going to the place to get an application and scared to death of the interview. I design webpages on the side, and I passed a recent opportunity up because I have to meet with someone... What is it with me? I have been quiet and shy my entire life, not sure why, but it is now getting to me because it is affecting my everyday life and I don't know how to get control of it. It's a miracle that i'm even writing this, sometimes i'm too shy to write anything over the internet. That's why i'm not as active as i'd like to be here on this message board. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? Or has anyone been like this that can relate? I'd like to know i'm not the only person like this.

 

[Evening Mist]

You are most definately not the only person like this -- and NO it is NOT stupid. It is your reality and it is very very frightening to you!

Is there one person in your life you feel comfortable with? Who you trust? You need to ask that person to help you to reach out to the world. This person needs to start by finding you a therapist. You need some help, but I know that you are feeling to shy to find your own help. So you need a safe person to do it for you.

I have perfect faith that you can overcome this, but you need to take very small steps. Start by asking someone close to you to be your safe person and find you a therapist. If you can manage that, you will have accomplished something huge, and you can feel proud of yourself! The therapist will help with the next step... but don't even think about it now.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

 

[Stanfi]

Anyone have any suggestions on how to overcome social anxiety? This might sound stupid to some of ya, but I have a real hard time going somewhere that i'm not comfortable. I have a hard time going to the grocery store because I might have to actually say something to someone. I'm having a hard time going to church even because I have to talk to people. I have passed up a good job opportunity because i'm afraid of going to the place to get an application and scared to death of the interview. I design webpages on the side, and I passed a recent opportunity up because I have to meet with someone... What is it with me? I have been quiet and shy my entire life, not sure why, but it is now getting to me because it is affecting my everyday life and I don't know how to get control of it. It's a miracle that i'm even writing this, sometimes i'm too shy to write anything over the internet. That's why i'm not as active as i'd like to be here on this message board. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? Or has anyone been like this that can relate? I'd like to know i'm not the only person like this.

JC, this is not a stupid question. Social Anxiety is very real. I have suffered from it all of my life. I know how very crippling it can be. I know exactly how hard it is to meet new people, and feel comfortable talking with a group of people. I prefer to go to stores and places where I know that I will not encounter someone that I know, for fear of talking to them. Also authority figures are guaranted to bring on a panic attack.

So, how can I help? Have you went to the doctor about this? I have been on Lexapro for Anxiety and Depression for about 8 months now, and it has really helped my social anxiety. I am not someone who thinks that everyone should be on drugs, but if you need them, get help. There is no sense to go throught life suffering. Also accept the fact that you are human, and your are not always going to say the right things.

Pray and ask God to help you. Also confide in a some close friends who know you and love you. You need a support group to lift you up and help you.

You may want to consider going to talk therapy. I have never done it, but I understand that it is very helpful.

If you want to talk more, feel free. I know the side of A & D all to well. The bottom line is pray, and take that step to get some help. I know it will be hard. I know when I told my doctor that I was having trouble with depression, I feel to incompetant. I kept thinking "mental illness", I should be in a ward. I just kept cutting myself down. But you know, this problem is no different than any other disease. Life is worth living, don't let social anxiety keep you from living it!

Also read what Jesus taught about anxiety in Matthew Chapter 6 (I think). I often turn to this for comfort. Listen and read to some preaching and teaching on anxiety. Charles Stanley and Joyce Meyer both have some good teachings on anxiety.

I like "Seek and ye shall find". Personally I think this applies to so much. If you seek help for your social anxiety, and with God's help you will find it.

I'll pray for you.

 

[jessiegirl]

I know how you feel. I was born very shy. My daughter is the same way. I really have to push her to talk to her teachers about some of her assignments. I always forced myself to go to job interviews etc... but it was extremely hard. A therapist prescribed medication for me that helped alot!! It was really hard getting the courage to go there. I agree with seeing the therapist.

 

[wblastyn]

Hi, I am the same as you, in fact I've stopped going to church because people kept trying to talk to me and I was really uncomfortable.

 

[mina]

I am terribly shy. It has lessened over the years but whenever i'm in a new situation I clam up and am really uncomfortable. I have almost no friends. It's very hard for me to talk to people. I get scared that I won't know what to say and will sound stupid. It's important to take small steps, and to take things one day at a time. I've found that prayer really helps me. If i know i have to have an interview or an appointment where i'm going to have to talk to someone, i spend some major time in prayer beforehand. I ask God to give me the grace and confidence to be the woman that he wants me to be.(((((hugs))))) It ain't easy I know. Hang in there!

 

[mina]

and remember, in our weakness, HE is strong!

 

[ZiSunka]

and remember, in our weakness, HE is strong!

Amen!

Doctors believe now that social anxiety is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, and not a character weakness or conditioning problem. It may be a form of depression!

So mrstace's advice is great--go to your doctor first for a good check up, tell him how you feel around other people, and let him help you decide what to do about it!

 

[JC4uNme]

I don't have many people around me that I am comfortable with. I've sort of been in isolation for a while. I don't get out much. If I had a chance, I think i'd stay at home all the time so I wouldn't have to interact with people.

I have a hard time trusting people anymore. I've been lied to for the past 5-6 years so many times, and I don't trust anyone. I don't trust them with my feelings or what's going on inside me because I think they are going to laugh at me when I tell them something or go blab to the whole world. Sometimes I think it is better to keep things bottled up inside like i've been doing for a while. Just talking about this now is amazing to me because I usually don't talk about what is going on with me. I just wish I could trust people around me.

Just thinking about going to a doctor for meds or to a therapist scares me to death! I think that once I go and get medication, i'd be OK... but the part that is the hardest is making that appointment and actually going and telling the doc what's wrong.

Thank you for all your responses. I'm glad to know i'm not the only one who deals with this. I'm praying for everyone else here who is struggling with social anxiety.

 

[JC4uNme]

Hi, I am the same as you, in fact I've stopped going to church because people kept trying to talk to me and I was really uncomfortable.

I'm almost to this point.

 

[Stanfi]

Just thinking about going to a doctor for meds or to a therapist scares me to death! I think that once I go and get medication, i'd be OK... but the part that is the hardest is making that appointment and actually going and telling the doc what's wrong.

.

I really don't meant ot criticize you, but it's sounds like you have some depression in there also. Your also a little agoraphobic (not wanting to leave the house.)

I know what you mean by not wanting to take that step to go to the doc. I never uttered the words that I had anxiety or depression problems. Until I went to the doctor. I got to the point that i had to go. I was just about on the edge of a nervous breakdown. It was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning. I don't think i could have handled another day. Just verbally telling someone was a big help. I felt instant relief by going to the doctor and talking to him. I was in such a panic. I was in his office for about 15min. I walked out and thought "That's it.. that's all I had to do. I've been fighting with this for so long, and this was all I had to do to start getting better." I believe God was right there with me, and he will be with you also.

It's nothing to be ashamed of!! Please go see a doctor or therapist!!

I'm praying for you!

 

[Stanfi]

Heavenly Father,

I come to you this morning asking that you remember JC4UNME. Lord, she is fighting with social anxiety. We know from our own experiences how difficult this can be. Lord we ask that your will be done is this sitatuion. We ask Lord, that if it be thy will that you would reach down with your healing hand, and remove this burden from her. We ask Lord if it be thy will you would bring the people into her life to help her, and allow her to get the treatments that she may need. Lord, so many things we do not understand, but I know that you do. I know Lord that you know all about social anxiety, and I pray Lord that you heal JC4UNME of this ailment, and I will look to you and give you the praise and the glory for it all.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

 

[Iddie4him]

JC,
My wife E-Beth also suffers from SAD.
She refuses to take her meds cause they are so expensive. She has had some setbacks cause of it too. I'm sure she would talk to you if you like.
God Bless.

 

[lostangel]

I agree that you have to try to tell a doctor, becuz otherwise you'll never get help, but praying is also an excellent thing to do becuz God has extraordinary powers!

 

[GodOwnsMe]

mhhh, I wasn't born that way at all, and it's not all that bad,
but the thought of ppl judging me can freak me out so bad I
get "too scared to move", am scared of talking to ppl, etc.
God Bless you so much don't give it up, keep trusting =)

I'm way more comfortable talking to ppl online, and if you ever
actually *wanna* talk =) contact me anytime.

don't let it get you away from "church", I think it's our big family,
and you got talents & stuff that'd help, ppl could help you..

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

Do any of you all struggle with negative thoughts of people in general? I do. Sometimes I won't even give anyone a chance because I think people are out to get me. Not literally but I guess it's a trust thing. Thats why I like animals. People can be the most cruel beings....then again they can be much more compassionate than any animal...what am I saying, I am not sure. Anyone else?

 

[JC4uNme]

I really don't meant ot criticize you, but it's sounds like you have some depression in there also. Your also a little agoraphobic (not wanting to leave the house.)

I think I do suffer from depression, too. I've always wondered if SAD and Depression are somehow linked together??

 

[JC4uNme]

Heavenly Father,

I come to you this morning asking that you remember JC4UNME. Lord, she is fighting with social anxiety. We know from our own experiences how difficult this can be. Lord we ask that your will be done is this sitatuion. We ask Lord, that if it be thy will that you would reach down with your healing hand, and remove this burden from her. We ask Lord if it be thy will you would bring the people into her life to help her, and allow her to get the treatments that she may need. Lord, so many things we do not understand, but I know that you do. I know Lord that you know all about social anxiety, and I pray Lord that you heal JC4UNME of this ailment, and I will look to you and give you the praise and the glory for it all.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Thank you for that prayer.

 

[JC4uNme]

JC,
My wife E-Beth also suffers from SAD.
She refuses to take her meds cause they are so expensive. She has had some setbacks cause of it too. I'm sure she would talk to you if you like.
God Bless.

I might take you up on that offer about talking with your wife.
Thank You.

 

[JC4uNme]

Do any of you all struggle with negative thoughts of people in general? I do. Sometimes I won't even give anyone a chance because I think people are out to get me. Not literally but I guess it's a trust thing. Thats why I like animals. People can be the most cruel beings....then again they can be much more compassionate than any animal...what am I saying, I am not sure. Anyone else?

I kind of know what you are saying here.