Hello all,
Just wondering to myself, what can I do to pass the time, make myself better, and keep myself from going crazy. What is it that you have done? Since I don't have my kids fulltime, the lonliness drives my nuts. I am going back to school next month, and will be joining a divorce/separation support group as well. The one thing that I am not looking forward to is the holidays, but I will focus on that then. This is now. Just thought it might be a thread that might help us all in our present situations.
God bless,
5kidsdad
After my first husband left, I was alone for years during separation and while the divorce was being finalized. I was the custodial parent but only because my ex was too busy leading his carnal life
When he did take the kids, I was very lonely and I will admit I did periodically think of trying to date and stuff along that line. However, I decided to continually and purposefully do what was the right thing and honoring to G-d, so I chose to focus on myself and my kids and healing and recovering.
I chose to attend support groups and bible studies with ladies. I chose to go to baseball games and practices with the kids. And I chose to start up again some of the things *I* was interested in that I gave up while married. For example--I started writing again and reading sci fi! (Geeky, I know
) Sometimes I chose to relax and enjoy the peace-and-quiet of peace-and-quiet! I started to play music again. I wrote a lot on the forums. And I went to coffee shops because I like coffee shops.
5kidsdad, I have a suggestion for you for the holidays. In the past you had certain "traditions" with your family that all of you used to do together. Some of the days you are going to WANT to be with your children, you won't be able to--but on the days when you do have them I suggest that you make NEW traditions. One of the new traditions I started with my kids (who were both less than 10) was to eat sugar donuts on the holidays! The fact is, no one felt like cooking and donuts sounded SO good, so we decided to make it a tradition! Another one we do is to wear our pajamas ALL DAY. We wear those jammie pants and a tee all day, and we are comfortable all day. Personally we celebrate Judaism, so we each made our own menorah and we light candles on our menorah and a family menorah and all over the house! We go to the community sing-along of Handel's Messiah. So 5kidsdad, I recommend you make some new ones. On the days when you are alone, make new traditions of YOUR own. I personally have a big, holiday feast invite everyone I know, and say, "If you can bring something to share potluck, please do. If you can't, come anyway" and we always have PLENTY of food! I also take myself out for one, nice, fancy dinner by myself. I buy only the best, dress up, and leave a tip that's about equal to the bill!
So 5kidsdad, you can do it. I know the loneliness is hard, but you can do it.
