So much pressure to drink

[marinasdiamond]

Hey guys, so I just turned 21 and even a few years beforehand there's been a lot of pressure from most of my friends to get drunk. It seems like that's all anyone does in college, or maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd. I've had a history of drinking [fairly] often and ironically now I'm trying to slow down. Everyone keeps saying "now you can go to wineries with us!" and "now you can go on drunk limo tours with us!" or "now we can go to bars!" which I don't mind having a little to drink, but that's never how it ends up. I hate hangovers, and I hate feeling out of control of myself, the dizzy feeling, etc... I feel like the best way to avoid drinking so much is to just remove myself from the situation altogether. I also have ADHD which makes it a bit harder to control impulses because I don't have much time to think things through (short attention span), which is why I'm thinking it'd be better to just avoid situations where there is drinking going on. What do you guys think? Does it bother anyone else that drinking is so big in college life culture? I feel like we have so many better things to do.

 

[Andres88]

You always have the option of thelling them how drinking makes you feel. There are people who have gone through college without drinking a sip; others learned to drink a little but control themselves; and of course, there's the party-hard kind who are really into drinking; so it also depends on the crowd you're hanging out with.

 

[SavedbyGrace85]

Just based off my experience, I am known as the non-drinker. You are still very young but give it some time and people will realize and respect that you do not drink. The first few times that you go out with friends (especially close friends) you might get some jokes here and there but after that it will becomes a lot easier. Best of luck to you.

 

[waterlemona]

I feel like we have so many better things to do.

^ This

It does bother me that drinking is such a huge part of the culture, and that getting drunk seems so normal to people... I don't really see anything fun about getting drunk every weekend. But I just let people know that I don't really drink and they mostly respect that- I've never felt judged for declining to drink.
Also, not sure if you have them on campus, but at my university we have several campus ministries as well as clubs/ organizations such as substance free club, alcohol-free club, where there are many ways to socialize without drinking, as well as meet other people who do not drink

 

[HorsieJuice]

Find different people to hang out with. Not everyone drinks to excess.

I and many of my friends have followed similar trajectories, though most of us hit that wall in our late 20's/early 30's. We all got sick and tired of being sick and tired and fat.

 

[Tylyr]

I never drank in my life until my second year of college. I got in a relationship with this girl who drank and I ended up trying it out myself... I broke up with this girl because I couldn't emotionally handle all the parties and stuff she went to, this stuff just wasn't right for me.

As for right now, I can say that I hate how big drinking is in college. I just don't understand the point of drinking? People do it because they like to "have fun". Well what is so fun about drinking? Just so you can have some stupid fun and nobody ridicules you for your actions? Let me tell ya, you can have the same amount of fun while sober if you hang around the right people. If you can find the right friends, they will not ridicule or judge you for being who you are.

The way I see a party is: a group of people who are so judgmental towards each other that they have to use the excuse of drinking in order to have a good time.

As for me, I don't like to make excuses to have fun!

 

[Jupiter Drops]

You can spike their drinks and see how they'll feel the next morning.


Joking. Don't spike their drinks.


Just say no. Think of something else to do and make plans early on for the day. Drinking is nothing. Alcohol's been around ever since the beginning of time, so this is nothing new to the world other than to a bunch of noobie freshmen thinking they're all growed up now.

 

[OceanSealy]

I think it really becomes an issue on who you surround yourself with. I go to parties where the people I know get absolutely plastered. However they'll ask me to drink only once. "Hey Cordero you want a shot??" I just say no and they respect that. I work with three of them. One was a goodfriend in highschool. Usually when I say no, people usually end it at that.

 

[Ruu]

I can really relate to your problems. Many of my friends also drink a lot, and I can't say that I have been much better. Still, every time I say I'm not going to drink some of my friends demand me to have a good explanation for this, like I'm driving or have work the next morning or something.

I think you should talk about this with your friends, and just tell them that you don't feel like drinking. They should understand that, and if they don't, they're not the right friends for you. You could also suggest things to do instead of drinking.

It's sad how people who decide not to drink often get labeled as wierd. I like to how a few drinks now and then myself, but I have full respect for people who don't want to drink. It's everyone's own choice and no one should judge one for it.

 

[Sketcher]

Are these the same friends you have gone drinking with or told drunk stories with? If so, they may think it strange that you're trying to cut back. I don't know if they're the type to actually respect a decision to not get drunk or not, but the track record you have shared with us, if they know it, seems as if it would make them less likely to respect your saying "no." Which is mainly on them, but your reputation with them may be less than helpful to you as well.

Personally, I stayed away from all that in college as I was active in a campus ministry that avoided alcohol. We had fun together doing a number of things while the bars in town had long lines of people waiting to get in. We were busy having fun, alcohol just didn't factor in to it.

 

[vanillakay]

I never drank in my life until my second year of college. I got in a relationship with this girl who drank and I ended up trying it out myself... I broke up with this girl because I couldn't emotionally handle all the parties and stuff she went to, this stuff just wasn't right for me.

As for right now, I can say that I hate how big drinking is in college. I just don't understand the point of drinking? People do it because they like to "have fun". Well what is so fun about drinking? Just so you can have some stupid fun and nobody ridicules you for your actions? Let me tell ya, you can have the same amount of fun while sober if you hang around the right people. If you can find the right friends, they will not ridicule or judge you for being who you are.

The way I see a party is: a group of people who are so judgmental towards each other that they have to use the excuse of drinking in order to have a good time.

As for me, I don't like to make excuses to have fun!

I could hug you right now, lol. I agree with with you!

I too have been pressured to drink not just by peers, but family as well, and it sucks because you get told your a boring old prude and a goody-goody. But to the OP?..You don't need to...drink to have fun. stick to your guns and show them how COOL not drinking can be. Let them pump that poison into there system and liver

 

[BlueLioness]

Hey guys, so I just turned 21 and even a few years beforehand there's been a lot of pressure from most of my friends to get drunk. It seems like that's all anyone does in college, or maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd. I've had a history of drinking [fairly] often and ironically now I'm trying to slow down. Everyone keeps saying "now you can go to wineries with us!" and "now you can go on drunk limo tours with us!" or "now we can go to bars!" which I don't mind having a little to drink, but that's never how it ends up. I hate hangovers, and I hate feeling out of control of myself, the dizzy feeling, etc... I feel like the best way to avoid drinking so much is to just remove myself from the situation altogether. I also have ADHD which makes it a bit harder to control impulses because I don't have much time to think things through (short attention span), which is why I'm thinking it'd be better to just avoid situations where there is drinking going on. What do you guys think? Does it bother anyone else that drinking is so big in college life culture? I feel like we have so many better things to do.

My mother says I have this "hidden mechanism" to ignore people -- it's all mental -- and if they think its rude then so be it...I could easily use it on people who would try to pressure me, but I guess they just don't get it that I don't care.


I'd use it on my parents all the time, they'd be talking to me and I wouldn't remember a word they said.

She'd say, "You keep putting a mental block up between me and you." And, "You're ignoring me, aren't you?"

Imagine having someone talk to you for a long time and you not being able to recall even one word they said. I do something to my mind. It makes me feel all frothy and sluggish on the inside but it blocks out verbal messages.

 

[pressingon17]

I wrecked myself for 6 months after turning 21. Don't even start not worth it!!! Spend time with Godly people and get in the Word. Bars are not a good place to hang anyways.

 

[Maka]

I don't drink at all and I've actually lost friends because of it. I've never been to a bar and I avoid parties where drinking is the main theme.

 

[EazyMack]

Never drank. I wouldn't hang with folks who pressure me to drink.

I'm too rebellious.