So Much Loss

[JoeinPA]

Why does it feel like I am always losing everything around me? This has been happening since childhood for me so it just feels like an old familiar...why? Why me? Why does it seem most other people enjoy things in their lives and I just seem to be going downhill? Things have just taken a dive since I moved here 5 years ago and are not improving and just seem to be getting worse. At least I can look back and say life was pretty much normal at one time before that.

This last week has been so draining. Our old dog was actually pregnant and we had to bring her to the vet to get a c-section to deliver the puppies. Originally we didn't even know if any of them would make it,which at first 3 made it and 2 did not. Now we're down to 1 because the other ones just faded...

This is an example of how many times I had even a little hope and it was dashed away. This is why I can't even try to think positive anymore because I'm so tired of taking maybe 1 step forward just to be set back 2.

What's the point?

On top of that stuff I've still got my regular problems of not being able to find a job so then my money will run out and that will be it. Nothing left.

Most times I feel like those sick puppies,just being cast out but trying to survive.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I know what it is like to run out of money, in August of 2005 I was busted and like twenty thousand dollars in debt to credit cards. Twelve thousand dollars of that was interest and penalties, I had to go bankrupt.

 

[JoeinPA]

Oh yeah I've got that too,except not 20,000. Just a big tax debt which can never be bankrupted,so it's prevented me from getting any kind of credit,loans,or even jobs!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Remember you have your health, I think you do anyways, so if you go into teaching, even at the college level, they don't look at your credit, you might have to do something like that. I think if you went to a lawyer you could negotiate with the IRS, but you probably need a job first, find one soon.

 

[ladyt28]

Joe - it strikes me that our enemy is really after you. Please go to my profile and check out the info for my favorite book "You're Late Again Lord!" (and ya have to go to my profile because I simply cannot remember the author's name right now - my bad!). Yeah, it insinuates that it's for women but trust me, the message is universal. The key for my own survival is to focus on TODAY (which, God bless, other members here have reminded me of). Yesterday can be so painful and tomorrow can be downright terrifying but Today, Today is the day the Lord has made and I will Rejoice in it! Maybe it's the part of me that's bull-headed: I do NOT want to be robbed of the joy that God wants me to have! Yes, sometimes it's a Real struggle but it's a fight worth putting energy into.
God bless you my friend! I am glad you are here with us!