So Much Abuse

[AnglicanPeace]

[paraphrasing] "Almost all of our suffering springs from our relationships with other people. There is no surer path to misery than worldliness." -Arthur Schopenhaeur

I have been abused my whole life, from age five on. My dad was an alcoholic, cheater, impregnator of the mistress, left us and started another family, never paid child support or alimony. Then we escaped Liberia during the coup which lead to a seven year civil war that killed 150,000 people.

School yard snippiness started as a near baby. I learned quickly on that I could never get quite nasty enough, not so very annoyed, blunt, nasty, belligerent, enraged, cunning, conniving, mocking, you name it enough.

And now the thoughts have taken over where the bullies left off. They always blame me, always me The Big C Word. Whatever is the absolute worst thing you could possibly think of a person, that what people, and the voices have thought of me.

I don't know where I would be without Jesus.

Just thought I would share.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

I drafted this prayer which might be helpful for you: Prayer For The Mind | Christian Forums.

 

[com7fy8]

the thoughts have taken over where the bullies left off. They always blame me

Well, it helps me to first look at myself, when I have a problem with someone. But this does not mean blaming and criticizing and putting myself down, but getting real correction, since with God we can get correction which does us real good. But I still tend much too much to give in to being upset with others, in a way which keeps my attention away from how I myself need to do better.

the decoy trick

And have compassion for ones who are wrong, since Jesus suffered and died like He did with hope for any evil person, at all.

This is what is possible with God. So, let us trust Him about this and be encouraged and may God prove Himself, how He is able to have us do this well.