so many problems...

[poeticlurker]

I have very low self-esteem, and a lot of hate that I don't need. I fell away from Christianity 4 years ago... some things still don't make sense. I hate my size, everyone else just gushes on about how they'd love to be my size but it's truly horrible. It really is horrible being a size 0 in a place where stores don't carry that size, and I'm smaller than the average 13 year old. Those who don't want to be my size accuse me of having an eating disorder I've never had! I hate myself because my own mother hates the way I am. I hate going home, not because of my mother, but because of where I live. I don't really live there anymore but I hate it, absolutely hate it and it's become some sort of mission for me to make sure nobody else ever moves there, it's that horrible but I can't keep hating it forever. I'm just very lost right now... any kind of help is much appreciated...

 

[Mr Dave]

Hi Poeticlurker, welcome to the site
Sorry to hear all of that, I'm afraid giving advice isn't my forte, and it's difficult to really know the situations you face, but I'll hold you in prayers and think of you, that you'll overcome this and feel much better soon.

 

[pilgrimgal]

If you ask for the gift of faith it will be given to you. And be assured you aren't finished growing yet..your size will increase but I do remember how it was to be small like that and way to thin.

Praying for you to find peace in Jesus Christ..who is the Prince of Peace, redeemer, and healer. In His Name

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Jeremiah 29:11> "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, lans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future."

1 Timothy 4:4> "For everything God created is good,..."

 

[L2becomeCL]

Hi Poeticlurker.

I can tell you that God loves you with a love that goes beyond reason, I can tell you that God can restore your faith and hope, heal your poor self imagine, heal your hurt & brokeness and bring you to a place of peace with who you are. But I believe part of you, even if just a tiny weeny part has an awareness of this, but perhaps due to unanswered prayers, hope that has been lost and circumstances that have become so painful you have lost your way. And thats OK. You have taken a big step talking to us as that takes courage.

Walking with God is at times hard, God never promised it would be easy being a christian. It seems at times too overwhelming as we think God should offer immunity from the pain. But instead God wants to meet us in the pain. I learnt this the hard way. I kept running from the pain as I believed as a Christian it wasnt meant to be like this. But Gods plans are good. If we had the least notion of his loving kindness and tender mercy, his fatherly love, how he patiently waits for us, how is preparing a place for us, how his master plan for our lifes are sooooo good. We wouldnt hold on to that hate we have for ourselves. As I said I have learnt this the hard way.

I got this from my "word for today"

Be Patient, It'll Happen In God's Time!



The old saying, "You can't always have what you want," isn't necessarily true. When you "Delight yourself in the Lord...He will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps 37:4 NIV). But usually He makes you wait. Dennis Wholey says: "Waiting is an art....If you can wait two years, you can achieve something you could not achieve today however hard you worked, however much money you threw at it, however many times you banged your head against the wall." There are things you can't have today that you'll be able to have in the future. So it doesn't make sense to drive yourself crazy and put your life on hold struggling to accomplish something now, that'll be easy when the time is right.
James says, "Don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature" (Jas 1:4 TM). God allows certain things to take place in our lives to teach us important principles like: (a) developing new skills and ways of thinking; (b) showing grace and controlling our responses; (c) maintaining our faith when times get tough. Paul writes: "Patience...[is...the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]" ( Col 3:12 AMP); "Be glad for all God is planning...Be patient in trouble, and prayerful always" (Ro 12:12 TLB).
When you spend time in God's waiting room, He's developing qualities in you that simply can't be developed any other way. When He's finished you'll come out stronger and wiser. And you'll have the maturity to handle what He has in mind for you. So don't let the enemy rattle you or engineer circumstances that put you into overdrive. "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him" (Ps 37:7).

I will be praying for you

God Bless you

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

You are in my prayers

 

[*Charis*]

Praying for you, Poeticlurker...

 

[forGod1]

I have very low self-esteem, and a lot of hate that I don't need. I fell away from Christianity 4 years ago... some things still don't make sense. I hate my size, everyone else just gushes on about how they'd love to be my size but it's truly horrible. It really is horrible being a size 0 in a place where stores don't carry that size, and I'm smaller than the average 13 year old. Those who don't want to be my size accuse me of having an eating disorder I've never had! I hate myself because my own mother hates the way I am. I hate going home, not because of my mother, but because of where I live. I don't really live there anymore but I hate it, absolutely hate it and it's become some sort of mission for me to make sure nobody else ever moves there, it's that horrible but I can't keep hating it forever. I'm just very lost right now... any kind of help is much appreciated...

If you hate your home, just try harder in school. The harder you try, the further you can get away. That might, given your situation(?), be the best bet.

I know how you feel, I fell away from Christ 7 years ago. Now after 7 years of wasting my life, one day I just said, I'm done not trying. If you stumble, it's not the end of the world. That was hard for me to understand, but now, I feel much better. I gave up all sexual sins now for a week, without even trying. That's amazing, isn't it? Jesus was so happy to see me back, he didn't even make it a struggle. God is Great. With God, you might even enjoy your home. I pray for that.

 

[brinny]

I have very low self-esteem, and a lot of hate that I don't need. I fell away from Christianity 4 years ago... some things still don't make sense. I hate my size, everyone else just gushes on about how they'd love to be my size but it's truly horrible. It really is horrible being a size 0 in a place where stores don't carry that size, and I'm smaller than the average 13 year old. Those who don't want to be my size accuse me of having an eating disorder I've never had! I hate myself because my own mother hates the way I am. I hate going home, not because of my mother, but because of where I live. I don't really live there anymore but I hate it, absolutely hate it and it's become some sort of mission for me to make sure nobody else ever moves there, it's that horrible but I can't keep hating it forever. I'm just very lost right now... any kind of help is much appreciated...

praying for you, dear heart (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

Continuing to pray (((hug)))

 

[GUYL22]

Praying!

 

[Ave Maria]

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Remember oh most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence I fly unto thee oh Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Hail holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To thee do we cry poor banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up our sighs mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us and after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Oh clement, oh loving, oh sweet Virgin Mary, pray for us oh holy Mother of God that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou oh prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Saint Dymphna, holy patron of those with mental illness, please pray for Poeticlurker who seems to be having some depression. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

 

[Hope4LessPain]

Praying For You!

 

[Colleen1]

I will be praying for you. For peace, wisdom and guidance. I hope you are able to find some really good support near you. Someone who really has an understanding heart.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Praying for you. PM if you need to.

 

[dawkins101]

I am 13 years old too, but I am not in your position. I feel great sympathy for you, and even though I'm an atheist, you should know that the people who treat you well no matter how small you are are the ones to stay in a relationship with.
Good luck, and may Dawkins be with you