so lost.....

[iamarock]

sorry im new here i dont want to start with this sort of post but im getting scared. ive been SI for about 4 years that i actually recognised it anyway. recently its been so much worse and these last few days have been awful cutting and yesterday i took an OD i didnt want to die just to punish myself i guess cause some damage...its ok i didnt pass out or aything been feeling weird but i think it will be ok but basically i just need some help. everythings out of control i cant control it anymore im doing things i never thought i would. recently ive found some comfort in the bible but im very new to christianity so its hard to know where to look for support. im making no sense as usual. its just got to the point where i cant pretend its fine anymore. i dont know wht to do...

 

[Cat59]

Hi iamarock!
Firstly *hugs* for you. Realising you need help is an important first step.
As for where to get help, I would suggest looking locally for support- hopefully a local library or mental health centre should know more. We have a local project where I live for young people who self injure and you can get counselling and support and advice there. There is a list of phone numbers and websites too in this forum where you could get help too...
Also, some churches have some counselling services based in them- you could ask at your church.
And not forgetting here, you can post here for help and advice and support too.*hugs* again
Cat

 

[justaspeck]

-

 

[Soulwings]

Hey luv,
Welcome to CF, and welcome to the family of Christ. I'm glad to see you here in these forums - hopefully they can be of help to you. However ... don't substitute our advice for that of professionals.

Like justaspeck said... are you seeing a counselor or psychiatrist? have you been prescribed meds? All of these things can help you regain some sort of control over what's happening; lay your burden of pain and self hatred on God, and He will take it up for you.

If you want to talk, luv, I'm always here. Just PM me or respond on this thread and I'll PM you. I'm a cutter too, and I've ODed in the past, so I know exactly where you're coming from.

Take care of you, yeah?
xxx April

 

[iamarock]

thanks. no i dont have a counsellor or anything. to make it simple...basically no one knows...no one in real life. i post on another board but thats it. saying that..my family well my mum has seen my arms but she is pretty happy with convincing herself that it was the cats or whatever. the rest is secret and ive never talked about it with anyone because im too scared to. i dont deserve the help so i cant bring myself to ask. my closest friend is actually my sister and she moved halfway across the world literally about 3 months ago so its hard to have that sort of conversation over the internet or phone really...i cant talk to my friends its complicated. and about church. i kind of dont have one. that sounds awful....its just i believe but as i say its been a recent decision and i havent really found a church yet....so yeh thats me. still so low its bad a friend from the board is basically threatening to OD and its so triggering. i dont know what to do to help her. i feel so useless..hate feeling this way.i used to be able to help people. even now i should be talking to her. when did i get so weak?

 

[praying]

thanks. no i dont have a counsellor or anything. to make it simple...basically no one knows...no one in real life. i post on another board but thats it. saying that..my family well my mum has seen my arms but she is pretty happy with convincing herself that it was the cats or whatever. the rest is secret and ive never talked about it with anyone because im too scared to. i dont deserve the help so i cant bring myself to ask. my closest friend is actually my sister and she moved halfway across the world literally about 3 months ago so its hard to have that sort of conversation over the internet or phone really...i cant talk to my friends its complicated. and about church. i kind of dont have one. that sounds awful....its just i believe but as i say its been a recent decision and i havent really found a church yet....so yeh thats me.

Everyone deserves help; everyone no matter what. It's hard I know I have that same problem telling people about how I feel but it does make you feel better though.

It takes time to find a church don't worry about that.

still so low its bad a friend from the board is basically threatening to OD and its so triggering. i dont know what to do to help her. i feel so useless..hate feeling this way.i used to be able to help people. even now i should be talking to her. when did i get so weak?

Talk to your friend that is a great help.

 

[iamarock]

Everyone deserves help; everyone no matter what. It's hard I know I have that same problem telling people about how I feel but it does make you feel better though.

It takes time to find a church don't worry about that.





Talk to your friend that is a great help.

im trying to talk to her but its so hard to find the words after what i did yesterday. i dont know what ill do if she hurts herself. it would be my fault..

 

[meh]

im trying to talk to her but its so hard to find the words after what i did yesterday. i dont know what ill do if she hurts herself. it would be my fault..

iamarock, it's really wonderful you have such a sweet soul you are reaching out to help others while you yourself are in pain. You are doing the best you can and that's all anyone can do. If your friend does something, it isn't your fault. No one makes anyone else hurt themselves. If you can, try to get someone else in real life to talk to or help your friend. Or get her to go to the ER or call a help line. We're praying for both of you.

 

[berry2000]

Hi imarock. I just wanted to welcome you here. I'm really glad you found us. Dealing w/ possible OD's and Self harming thoughts is serious stuff. I would really encourage you to find someone in real life like a counselor you can talk to. Of course you have us now for support too but we aren't pro's but we can encourage and love you. Lots of us deal w/ our Christianity and self harm including myself. So you are more than welcome to be honest here.

One of my favorite verses I will share here with you is:
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Blessings!

 

[iamarock]

thank you everyone...i know i cant stop her from hurting herself but if she did it would be because i couldnt find the words to support her. so it would be my fault. i think she's safe though she said she was. i just hope so.

 

[praying]

thank you everyone...i know i cant stop her from hurting herself but if she did it would be because i couldnt find the words to support her. so it would be my fault. i think she's safe though she said she was. i just hope so.

No, if she does something honey it would not be because you couldn't find the words to support her. You should not take on that burden. The only thing we can do is try our best to help people but people have to want to be helped.

 

[iamarock]

No, if she does something honey it would not be because you couldn't find the words to support her. You should not take on that burden. The only thing we can do is try our best to help people but people have to want to be helped.

i see what youre saying but its hard not to feel that way when i klnow she's relying on me. thank you all for your words and prayers. she did stay safe so im so grateful.