So, I'm new...

[CrazySage]

It feels very strange to go to the doctor just to tell him that I think I'm insane.

On and off over probably the last year and a half I've experienced really wild, erratic mood swings. I mean, smiling happy one minute and then screaming and angry the next.

But now it's kind of out of control. Sometimes I'm making kissy faces at myself in the mirror and admiring myself and sometimes I'm so upset that I can't do or say anything without bursting into tears. I've even considered suicide more than once in my times of depression, when I feel disconnected from God and from life and from everyone around me. That had to stop.

Yesterday, my doctor prescribed 50mg of Zoloft. Today was the first day I took it: I've experienced a pouding migraine all day that's left me mostly on the couch, like a slug. When not incapacitated, I've been fidgety, restless, and a constant chatterbox.

I really want to take this stuff to get myself straightened out, but this is worse than normal.

Has anyone else experienced similar issues with their medication and does it happen every time or has it stopped?

 

[Alive again]

Hi, and welcome! Yes, side effects of meds can be very real and you either adjust to them over a day or so (depending on the med) or you do not. If you are worse tomorrow call the doc. One word of caution. If you are on zoloft alone and you spin wildly up and erractic, call your doc! Antidepressants alone can trigger worse manias. Also, do not mess a round with suicidal thoughts, especially in these early days of meds! Always call for help, your doc or some one you can trust to help you.


I was eventually able to find a med that worked for me without intolerable side effects. I had spent most of my time in depression, and so I had to get used to a more talkative normal than ever before in my life.

So again welcome!
Just a quick note wit a few thoughts. You will find many others here with lots of support encouragement and wisdom!

Praying tha tyou will find the right med or combo of meds for you!

 

[CrazySage]

Thanks! My mom and I are keeping really close tabs on me and I know I can tell her if anything feels really wrong.

I guess my other problem is, and this is really stupid and petty (but I actually find it kind of hysterical), is that when I feel more manic (I talk fast, have more energy, am bouncing off the walls, my thoughts are racing a million miles a second) I'm more creative. I'm a writer, I'm working on a novel right now, and if my meds put a damper on that... well, that's how I plan to make my bread in the future...

Bugger...

 

[Laridy]

Welcome Crazysage,
First off you're not crazy. You might have a mood disorder but you're definately not crazy for that. I hope you find reassurance and comfort here. I do. Meds can effect you at first but a lot of times the side effects will pass away within the first week. If they don't you might have to see about changing. I also agree with the other post. Watch out for mania symptoms when just starting with an antidepressant. They can trigger mania if not coupled with a mood stabalizer. Meds have the disadvantages but overall they're life savers. I'll take a little less buzz for stability any day. I hated the days of the rollar coater ride. Not to say it's all perfect now but at least the highs aren't so dramatic and my lows don't leave me feeling suicidal any more. I lead a much more peaceful existence. Stucture and schedules help. Good luck. I'll be praying for you
Laridy

 

[CrazySage]

I didn't mean crazy, I guess that was too flippant on my part (my apologies, my coping method right now is laughter).

Also, thanks. My doc acted like my manic symptoms weren't a lot to worry about; I tend to be more hypomanic and my most manic tendency is how badly I lose my temper over absolutely nothing, which is all probably why he didn't find a mood stabilizer necessary.

And the prayers are much appreciated.

 

[Alive again]

I didn't mean crazy, I guess that was too flippant on my part (my apologies, my coping method right now is laughter).

I do agree we need to be careful with labels and stigma in our world, but I enjoy this type of sense of humor myself!

Also, thanks. My doc acted like my manic symptoms weren't a lot to worry about; I tend to be more hypomanic and my most manic tendency is how badly I lose my temper over absolutely nothing, which is all probably why he didn't find a mood stabilizer necessary.

I am also by definition a bp2 which involves hypomania and my manias tend to be rage, not so much racing thoughts, but just more happy and up and maybe, silly. . .

Know that many people find the mood stabilizer may dampen the manias, but still allow the creativity to flow, just in a more controlled and channelable way.

And the prayers are much appreciated.

Those prayers are indeed important and a big part of what happens here at CF! I am glad you are able to talk with your Mom, support of family and friends is a major help. If your Mom ever wants to chat or get input/support, feel free to have here pm me, I also have a son with bp (and had a father with bp) so I have seen this illness from the inside and out! Blessings!

 

[bipolarbear]

Welcome! Sorry I am getting to your thread late. I am still currently on vacation. Alive again is a wonderful person for advice! She has been so very helpful to myself and so very many others! You have come to the right place for extra support, and encouragement. I have found the people on the bipolar fourm so helpful! Don't feel silly for what ever your feelings are, we are here to help you, and pray for you! As far as your creativity. I understand about the highs expanding your creative ability. I have been on meds for a year and a half now, adn have found that though the meds make things diffrent, they are nessarry! I hav e just learned diffrent ways to be creative. I am back to jewlery making, and other creative outlets. It does take some re learning of things , for me anyway. Learning new ways to cope, ect... May the lord be your strenth, and your comfort, and know you are safely in His care! Have a blessed day!

 

[berry2000]

WElcome! Medications take a while to find the right one. And if you are bipolar antidepressants alone will/can cause increased anxiety/agitation or mania. For me it was the anxiety/agitation. I had to add lamictal to settle it off. That's because of the bipolar. Definatley tell your doc about the anxiety and agitation.

p.s. i'm crazy too.

 

[CrazySage]

p.s. i'm crazy too.

I guess crazy is a word that my family tosses around a lot because we can. My mom and my older sister are ADD and my brother has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (as do one of my cousins and my late grandpa) and my dad's very bipolar (but he's never been diagnosed and is therefore not on medications).

 

[angelkiss]

Hi and welcome to the forum
I know I'm a bit late, but I've been consoling a friend of mine who just lost her brother and haven't been here much the last few days. Better late than never, right?
You've already been given some great advice, so I don't think there's much more that I can add.
I personally, have been mostly manic lately and I too am a writer. My meds help slow my mind down, therefore, I can write and make sense. As fast as my mind goes, I do well to talk let alone write without the meds.
As I have been put on numerous meds and have to deal with the pain-in-the-hiney side effects each time, I learned quite quickly that the side effects are better than not having the meds at all.
Many prayers going up for you.
God bless,
s and es!!

 

[CrazySage]

To be totally honest, I stopped the Zoloft yesterday. By time nighttime got aroud I had a full-fledged freak out while I was laying in bed (I couldn't get to sleep until 4am) and couldn't convince myself to take them again the next morning. I'm going to see a different doc in a week (let's hope nothing gets worse between now and then) and I'm going to try a homeopathic route. (Praying it works)

 

[angelkiss]

Perhaps the Zoloft ain't the med for you. It's hard to find the right med/meds with this illness as all people are different. So, what may work for some may not work for others.
One thing you may want to take caution with is: Stopping meds cold turkey. The outcome of that can be worse than actually taking the meds. It sometimes takes a few to several weeks for certain meds to get in your system, so it may be a while before you notice any positive changes. But, to stop meds without weening can cause more harm than good.
I hope you find a good doc and the homeopathic way may work for you. I on the other hand, don't do well with it.
s and es!!

 

[CrazySage]

I only took the Zoloft once (my last post was worded funny) and while I was very hypomanic yesterday and then had a crying spell I'm doing alright off it (that's a normal day for me).

I'm praying the homeopathics will work. I hate the idea of taking harsh prescription drugs (I've been raised on taking herbal cures) and the doc I'm going to see is the same doc my brother sees for his OCD (which he tried to treat with herbs but decided they weren't enough for him at the time).

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I remember my thoughts happening so fast, I didn't know what I was thinking. I was really sick seven years ago. I hope it gets better fast, just be patient, and maybe get disability while you are recovering, until you know what kind of work you can do. Try part time work, then try full time work at a specifiic job that does not stress you out at all. Take baby steps. and don't be afraid to lay on the couch waiting for your mood to level out. I remember sitting in cool water to calm my mind down at a pool, that helped me.