so frustrated!!!!

[Amylisa]

Hi,

My 4 year old son has autism spectrum disorder. He is in ABA therapy and preschool. He really enjoys it.
So much so that when he didn't get to go to school today(because there IS no school today!), he threw a Major tantrum for about 20 minutes. I haven't even had coffee yet!

How do you who are in this situation handle the every day, ongoing frustration. Lately I have just had it with my son's temper. I don't have much sympathy for him lately, I am just so worn out.

Days like this I feel like a total failure. I even start getting angry with God. And I feel ashamed before Him, I know I am failing in so many ways.

Anyway, any empathy or sharing would be appreciated.

 

[PretzelMonger]

It's all about routine for some. So if he can't have his normal routine, it's a problem. Being so used to school and threapy, he WANTS to and feels a NEED to go back. Maybe a place for him to socialize with other kids, especially those with similar conditions would help. I don't know for sure, but it's worth a try. (PS-I was Dx AS in 2006.)

 

[Amylisa]

Yes you are right, routine is important...something I am not real strong in. I have to improve . I am glad you said this, thanks.

You were just diagnosed in 2006? Is AS autism spectrum, or is it aspergers'? How are you doing now?

By the way, I would love a pretzel! How about the cinnamon-sugar ones like from Auntie Annies?

 

[PretzelMonger]

As stands for Asperger's Syndrome, which is considered by some to be autism, and others a "spectrum disorder." Yet others say it is of it own category. I'm doing okay. I don't work at the pretzel place anymore. It was called Pretzel Plus, and we had cinnamon-sugar ones too! I don't think I have ever had an Auntie Anne's pretzel, though the place exists in the mall. I was working in a place located inside Wal-Mart.
I have managed to get on SSI, because as well as Asperger's I have a limited range of motion due to severe scoliosis (surgery in 1996!)

I wish our own oven here worked so I could just make homemade pretzels... *sigh*

 

[rizzla]

Hi

Couple of thoughts;

Did you warn your son there’d be no school? In our case its not so much “”routine” as knowing exactly whats going to be happening. Eg when we go somewhere new we have to explain when we’d be going, why we were going, and what we would be doing once we arrived. (I know of another parent who had a limited success the first time she tried this; she forgot to mention fuel stops & on the way her son went ballistic).

How do you who are in this situation handle the every day, ongoing frustration. Lately I have just had it with my son's temper. I don't have much sympathy for him lately, I am just so worn out.

Sympathy? Why would you feel sympathetic? Its like feeling sorry for the sky because God made it the colour blue (or battleship grey over here). Maybe his temper and your frustration are caused by mis-communication? Imagine you told your son not to go up the stairs because daddy was sleeping. He said okay, he wouldn’t go up the stairs but 5 min later up he goes. Did he do wrong? Would you punish him? Are you failing as a parent for not being able to have him comply to this tiniest of commands? Are you failing because you didn’t explain the importance of nightshift, money & grumpy fathers?

Answer to all of these is ‘Nope’. Eg He didn’t go up the stairs – he went for his toy car (which happens to be up the stairs but that’s irrelevant). Or he agreed not to go up the stairs, but that was 5 minutes ago (the agreement is no longer applicable). If you answered ‘yes’ to any, its possible that your situation would improve if you went on a NAS (National Autistic Society) course. Their “early learning bird” is fantastic as it really helps explain the differences between NTs & AS'ers when it comes to processing information. It wont make you feel any less tired, but it may make you appreciate how AS is a gift, not a punishment or a curse. It’s the NT’ers (neurotypicals) who are disabled - its just that God didnt give them the wisdom for them to realise it.

~peace~

 

[rizzla]

Off topic, this pretzel stuff is facinating - I'm not sure now whether or not Ive ever had a real one. I thought they all came in little sealed plastic bags, tasted like stale bits of cardboard, and had lumps of sea salt attached.

Thats the only pretzels Ive seen over here....

 

[Amylisa]

rizzla,
well your post helps me to look at things from a different perspective.

One thing, I can't explain much to him in advance anyway, because he is basically non-verbal. He understands some very simple directions, but he doesn't seem to 'get it' (yet) if you say much to him in the way of explaining things, etc. Hopefully he will eventually.

But I am going to still get him ready and take him out even on the days when there is no school, now. I didn't do that before.

You're in Scotland! Wow, I have always wanted to go there. I have some Scots in my family tree.

 

[PretzelMonger]

Off topic, this pretzel stuff is facinating - I'm not sure now whether or not Ive ever had a real one. I thought they all came in little sealed plastic bags, tasted like stale bits of cardboard, and had lumps of sea salt attached.

Thats the only pretzels Ive seen over here....

rizzla: Never had the big, soft ones? You are deprived!