so confused...

[nessa]

why is it that when i go long periods without cutting myself...i am just more depressed?? I am proud that i haven't cut in about 2 months..but it seems almost too hard to go that long...like it is too much of a bother.

I am being forced to get my own apartment and live by myself. I tried that for 3 months..and it brought me back to cutting and depression... Yet when i try to tell my parents that i don't want to move out again, they tell me that my family can't handle the stress of having me around that much or that long. That hurt..a lot.

I just wish there was a way to stop all of this, to just get rid of it.

 

[nessa]

oh this is encouraging...i ask for help...and get no replies?

 

[oneandlonely]

Hey hun, I don't really know what to say but I will be praying for you ok?

Bethany

 

[blessedmomof5]

Nessa,
sorry, but i didn't come in here for a few days , can i ask, are you in therapy? maybe if you were your parents would see you were making an effort and let you stay? if not maybe you should? i do, for more than 1 reason, i think i need it...lolmaybe you can talk to your pastor? youth pastor, and if all else fails can you get a roomate? just throwing out some suggestions , i am sure it is hard living home and your parents not wanting you to live there with them.....
i will pray for you and for them, so they have the patience and kindness that parents should have.
Denise
i am here if u need to talk. pm me

 

[Bevlina]

why is it that when i go long periods without cutting myself...i am just more depressed?? I am proud that i haven't cut in about 2 months..but it seems almost too hard to go that long...like it is too much of a bother.

I am being forced to get my own apartment and live by myself. I tried that for 3 months..and it brought me back to cutting and depression... Yet when i try to tell my parents that i don't want to move out again, they tell me that my family can't handle the stress of having me around that much or that long. That hurt..a lot.

I just wish there was a way to stop all of this, to just get rid of it.

Darling Little one, you have as much chance of making a bright, happy new life as the next one.
When I found my husband dead, my first reaction was to work. And, I worked so hard I didn't stop to realize that being a fragile woman, I was hurting myself. I just wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to forget and found solace in doing things only a strong man would tackle.
Then, when I settled down and almost collapsed from exhaustion, my Mum died. My energy had waned but, I started then to concrete and believe me I worked hard but the tears wouldn't stop even as I worked.
Then, as I started to settle again, my Dad died ... and every fibre in my being deadened.
I watched my little dog die on my birthday, and buried her. And through it all, I prayed only for one thing, for God to give me good health.
I relied completely on the Lord for I realised that I was not only a widow, but also an orphan. Alone in the world - so alone.
And know what? Today I have a new life. I don't work so hard, and I relax in His Arms and enjoy the sunsets, and the sunrises.
Yes, I have had my share of people hurting me too following the deaths of the ones I loved so dearly. But, I went on determined to show the world that my God was stronger and more powerful than the tongue waggers and the cruel people in this world who would thieve from me, and persecute me just because I was alone.
And, I became stronger ... because I believed.
The same can happen to you too! Why? Because you CAN do it!

 

[teffie]

that post, bevlina...is amazing. that is so encouraging,, really really good. im proud just reading that. you are a true warrior of god!!!

god bless, steph.

nessa- i havent cut for 2months either. and its coming back. but surround yourself with those you love, like friends, etc...people you trust....stay away from sharp things and being alone for long periods of time. use an elastic band, at least until the feeling passes. check out some therapy/abuse helplines....and...have a best mates number on quick dial. i mean it. whenever you need to cut, sms or call this person up...anyone at all just someone you trust and can talk to. i have like.....about 6-10 or those people, who have ALL told me to call them if i need help....and yet i still hesitate. dont make the same mistake. have faith in the lord. write a story, write in your journal, vent somewhere or to someone. i like to draw...that helps me out alot. i hope you get better. god bless, xoxo steph

 

[BornAgainBabe]

Darling I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I really do know how hard it is when life just seems to be handing you a rough deal. God really is there for you you know! He loves you so much and just wants you to run to Him and cry out to Him. I'm praying for you and anytime you need me just PM me. Love always. Laura x

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

can I recommend Christian counselling? I am finding it really helpful to get perspective on some tough issues. It's not a quick fix but in the long term might help you to sort out some issues and enable you to be free from it all someday

 

[ChasingADream]

why is it that when i go long periods without cutting myself...i am just more depressed??

Maybe it's because cutting is what we do when we can't cope with something. It's like a release from what's hurting us. And you haven't had a release in two months. That's why I think I get more depressed after not cutting for a while.