Sneaky Family

[Avniel]

Again, as you noted, perhaps it's more cultural - but at least from my experience, the gateway drug phenomenon to harsher drugs is more the exception than the rule.
I know many people who smoke (actually I know more pot smokers than cig. smokers now that I think about it.) And I've rarely seen it evolve into addiction to stronger drugs.
For example, if pot became legalized here, and Remi wanted to smoke it when he was out and in a safe environment (like one would when drinking) then I probably wouldn't have issue with it.
I don't really worry about it leading to anything else. He's not addicted to drink or cigarettes, why would he become addicted to pot then progress?
(This being said, because I know he doesn't suffer from an addictive personality)
So I don't know..again, maybe culture?

~ Niffer

I think it's criminalization of weed causing it to be used only by those that are disenfranchised by society has a stronger connection. I know old men that smoke weed and old women that look down on people that even drink. I think it's based on the perception and that perception attracts certain people. Most of my friends have smoked and or still smoke weed and they don't try any drugs. I know more people that will not drink but will smoke a ziggy, I think that's because culturally it is more accepted.

As far as the gateway drug thing goes I think those are people that would become addicts using another drug to get them started.

The reality is most drug users start with nicotine and alcohol. Those are the first drugs most drug addicts encounter. However the media will not push that information simple because to much money in taxes is generated.

Like I said before I know at least an entire neighborhood of Jamaicans and Jamaican Americans some are doctors and lawyers some sell drugs or guns. There is a plethora of cocaine in my community one avenue is called a Beamer block because of the money these young men generate off of cocaine allow all of them to have BMWs. They aren't selling crack and coke to the Jamaican Americans in the community they sell it to the Americans.

In the community having a job, being in school and handling your business as an adult gives you a right to smoke weed. Sitting around smoking all day not making any money will label you as a cruff and you will be treated worse then a dog. Anything past weed, such as cigs and drinking to much will have you labeled as a rum head or cig head. Those people are seen as being on the same level as a crack head.

It's a very different dynamic.

 

[JoeinPA]

Even if it was legal where he was, and his stepson was old enough, there still needs to be respect there.
Just like smoking cigarettes.
If a person is against smoking in their home - then the person who wants to should respect that and at least smoke somewhere else, especially when paired with the health issues associated with it.
second hand smoke from cigarettes or a contact high from pot.

There still needs to be respect, regardless of where you stand on morality.

~ Niffer

Exactly. I think it's mainly the fact that they feel they need to go behind my back,which as I said is a trust issue. She can justify doing anything and I'm the bad guy if I don't agree.

 

[JoeinPA]

Again, as you noted, perhaps it's more cultural - but at least from my experience, the gateway drug phenomenon to harsher drugs is more the exception than the rule.
I know many people who smoke (actually I know more pot smokers than cig. smokers now that I think about it.) And I've rarely seen it evolve into addiction to stronger drugs.
For example, if pot became legalized here, and Remi wanted to smoke it when he was out and in a safe environment (like one would when drinking) then I probably wouldn't have issue with it.
I don't really worry about it leading to anything else. He's not addicted to drink or cigarettes, why would he become addicted to pot then progress?
(This being said, because I know he doesn't suffer from an addictive personality)

It could run in the genes,his mom is addicted to cigarettes and his dad turned to stronger drugs...

 

[Niffer]

It could run in the genes,his mom is addicted to cigarettes and his dad turned to stronger drugs...

See THAT would concern me greatly.
Are you in a close enough relationship with your stepson that you can sit down and tell him why you're really worried?
Explain that he could have a weakness towards drugs, like his father does?

If you can't force him to stop smoking, maybe you can appeal more to his heart?

~ Niffer

 

[Avniel]

What does he do outside of smoking?

 

[JoeinPA]

Are you in a close enough relationship with your stepson that you can sit down and tell him why you're really worried?
Explain that he could have a weakness towards drugs, like his father does?

If you can't force him to stop smoking, maybe you can appeal more to his heart?

Hate so say but I don't think he has much of a heart,considering the way he treats his mother. Unfort we haven't gotten along much.

 

[JoeinPA]

What does he do outside of smoking?

Just that for now.

 

[Niffer]

Hate so say but I don't think he has much of a heart,considering the way he treats his mother. Unfort we haven't gotten along much.

I am so sorry.
The problem is your stepson is grown now, and there just isn't much you can do.
I think your only real option is to make firm boundaries about your home, and keep talking with your wife.

If your stepson doesn't have a good relationship with his mother, it does really come across that she's smoking with him mostly so she can 'spend time' with him or has used this as, unfortunately, a common interest.

Blessings,
~ Niffer

 

[Avniel]

Just that for now.

Maybe it's boredom make demands on him. School, work ect.