snail gang

[Hollypop]

A sloth was walking through the jungle one day
when he was set upon by a gang of vicious snails.
The snails left him bleeding and confused at the
bottom of a tree.

Several hours later, he summoned the strength
to go to the police and report the assault. He was
asked by the desk sergeant to describe his attackers.
He replied, "I don't know what they looked like, it all
happened so fast"

 

[stumpsitting101]

Oh, My, Goodness! I almost let that one zoom right over my head.

 

[stumpsitting101]

A young preacher, first appointment, made a promise to the church, that he was going to visit all the members, in order to get to know them better. Well, it so happens, that the first visit was to this dear old widow.
The preacher knocked on the door and the sound "Come In" was heard. The preacher tried the door handle but it was locked. So, he once again knocked. The Sound again was heard, "Come In". The preacher once again tried the knob, and again it was still locked. Upon this, the young preacher decided to go the the back door and try. He knocked only to hear "Come In", so upon trying the door knob, finding it to open the door. As he shut the door behind him and turned around, a large 120 lb. German Sheperd leaped up pinning the preacher to the door. Growling and showing his teeth, ready to attack the intruder. Perplexed, the preacher carefully looked around only to notice in the next room a large parrot on a stand. At that time the parrot said, "Come In". The preacher replied, Why, You stupid bird, is "Come In" the only words you know?
The Parrot looked back at the preacher and said, "Naw.......SIC UMM"
Ken

 

[Hollypop]

ha ha now that is sad. poor preacher! good one!