Small Group Issues

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

My husband and I joined a new church back in November and even more recently joined a small group at that church.

Things were going fine for awhile until our get together last night. Somehow the conversation got very political. Then, when we were chit chatting shortly before leaving one of the group leaders was talking about what African people are called in different countries and said the N word about 3 times in his conversation with another member. We were shocked to hear him say it and we are at odds at what to do.

We have been thinking about telling the Senior Pastor about what happened.

What has also set us in an awkward situation is that, that same night before those conversations we volunteered to sing worship at a senior home with the small group leaders and we are questioning on doing that after what has occurred.

We also attend the church service at the same time as the rest of the group, so even if we decide to leave the small group we will still be seeing them at church.


Thank you for all godly advice and prayers about our situation. We are still trying to figure out what to do.

 

[PloverWing]

Do you feel comfortable talking to the group leader himself? Something like "When you used the N-word to describe African people last night, it made me really uncomfortable. It sounded like you didn't respect African people. Can we talk about that?" It's a hard conversation to have, but maybe the group leader could be persuaded to speak and think differently in the future.

 

[linux.poet]

15 “Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed. 17 And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Given the context, I think that the man was looking to provide information, not promote racism. I would just confront him privately and state that I wasn't comfortable with that word being used, as it is unwholesome talk in the context of this country and our own particular history of racial cruelty.

 

[Heartofsilver]

Thank you for the godly advice

 

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone, I wanted to give you an update on our situation. My husband spoke with the small group leader and it went better than expected. He listened and was understanding, though he did say the N word again in conversation with us while explaining what he was talking about with the other group member. Though, later that night he said something good about accountability, so we are hoping that the situation is resolved. Thank you for your godly counsel and prayers. God bless you all!