Hi there
Its what they called in rehab ( where I went ) Your beast brain.. Did they use that term?
This is the part of your brain that doesn't care if you lose everything, it wants what it wants and will fight with your Good brain until either the Good wins or you feed the beast in a sense.
It is VERY normal, BUT you have to use this time to start putting into practice skills you may have learned in Rehab.
Like calling others you met in rehab just to say "Hi". You dont have to discuss your urges unless you want, but you will find when just chatting about stuff you will lose that urge.
For me ,and I want that in bold
for me, NA and AA didn't seem to fit. I go to Celebrate Recovery and feel so blessed that someone let me know about that alternative, I dont know where I would be without it.
If you havent heard about it heres the link
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
Call your churches and see if they have the program or one similar. Its a 12 step program based on the AA principles etc.
They have included worship and a message, then you break into groups to talk about what issues you have . CR deals with "hurt, habits and hang up" so anyone who struggles with anything from co-dependancy to addictions are welcome!
BUT in the meant time fill your days with reading scripture, calling friends, doing hobbies you coudlnt before because you spend your days getting high.
I know that was the first thing I realized, how fun life was after I was sober. I had the energy do to all the things I liked before but gave up due to drugs
PM me anytime or hit me up on yahoo IM I am
CureEndoNow
Hugs and Prayers
keep looking up HE will surround you , just keep praying