Sleeping with (sharing a bed/sofa)

[bobsmith2]

i have this friend who is a girl (shes not a christian), and where gettin v well. she knows that i dont believe in sex b4 marrige and she totaly respects tht.
something happened last nite a group of us had no way of gettin home, so we ended up stayin around my friends house in the front room.
basicaly, we were cuddling on the sofa and we went to sleep, wiv covers on us.
now i know this isnt a good idea, bcause of temptation to have sex, etc. but as we have already discussed that we are not goin to hav sex is the whole "goin to sleep wiv each other" accatable? plz let me know

(sorry if tht doesnt make sence but i tried to word it the best i could!)

 

[Gregory Merryweather]

Well, I understand where you're coming from. I don't really see it as "wrong", but it's something that probably could have been avoided by sleeping seperately on the floor. Although, I'm not judging you. I'm just saying that maybe the cuddling part wasn't that best idea.

But as long as you stayed true to your morals and values, I think it's okay.

I went through a similar thing a couple days ago. One of my close guy friends wanted me to spend the night at his house. He's not really a Christian, but he knows I am, and there wouldn't have been any "funny business", but I still didn't really feel comfortable with the idea, so I made up some excuse, heh.

 

[Flamefeathers]

It's not okay! Read these bits from "Ask Me Anything" by J. Budziszewski (a.k.a. Professor Theophilus):

"Excuse me, did you say her? The person you are planning to room with is a woman?"

"Didn't I mention that?" asked Chad "It's not like I have been sleeping with her or anything."

"Chad, about the girl you were going to share an apartment with....let me ask you, how were you planning to turn off human nature?"

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps you haven't noticed, but opposites attract."

"I'm not attracted to her that way, Professor T."

"I hear this sort of thing all the time. A girl spends the afternoon with a guy but it's not a date. A guy has a special friend who's a girl, but she's not his girlfriend. A girl and guy are planning to live together, but they aren't attracted to each other that way. We live in one of the most sex-obessed societies in history, yet people try to tell me they don't have genders. I'm not buying it"

 

[Flamefeathers]

And you might control your morals but what are hers? Especially since she's a non-Christian. More from that book.

1. You may tell me that you've never thought about sex, but if you are the girl and he's the guy, you can be sure that he has.

2. You may tell me that you've never thought about sex, but if you're the girl, you can't tell me you've never thought about romance.

3. If you're the guy, ask yourself this question. You've just learned that, before meeting you, your sweetheart lived for 3 years with Brad Pitt. She says sex never crossed their minds. Do you believe her?

4. Sex or no sex, thoughts or not thoughts, the situation is inherently unchaste; it corrodes the the virtue of modesty.

5. It's wrong not only to commit sin, but also to give the appearence of committing sin. Doing so shows lack of love for others because you're demoralizing them through bad example.

6. Modesty is a biblical virtue; it's a biblical precept to avoid not only evil but also the appearence of evil, and avoiding not only sin, but also the risk of sin, is a counsel of biblical wisdom. "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?" (Proverbs 6: 27-28)

 

[SarcasmDispenser]

"I hear this sort of thing all the time. A girl spends the afternoon with a guy but it's not a date. A guy has a special friend who's a girl, but she's not his girlfriend. A girl and guy are planning to live together, but they aren't attracted to each other that way. We live in one of the most sex-obessed societies in history, yet people try to tell me they don't have genders. I'm not buying it"

I'm sorry but I couldnt' read tihs and NOT post something. That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. Just because someone sleeps side by side does not mean they are going to have sex, no matter what gender.

To answer the OP, it's perfectly fine.

 

[wiggsfly]

From what I see you were fine. Sin is often more due to the intent than to the action, and in this case neither the action or the intent seemed to constitute a sin.

 

[Briseis]

From what I see you were fine. Sin is often more due to the intent than to the action, and in this case neither the action or the intent seemed to constitute a sin.

I agree. Were you thinking about having sex due to sleeping on the couch with her? If yes, then you should try to avoid doing it again. If no, then no biggy.

 

[bobsmith2]

well were getting on very well, were not going out yet, but weve been on a few dates. as i think i mentioned we have talked about sex, and she knows im totaly against it, and she said that is fine, and that she would respect my wishes, and tht she wanted to continue to get to know me better.
To be honest, im totaly confused, its worse that sum peeps say tht christians should not date non chrisitans! but im meetin up with my minister, 2mz, just to talk about stuff, and i'll bring it up, and post wot he says/ suggests!

 

[Linnis]

Playing with fire is a bad idea. Just because you were safe once doesn't mean you can be again. Why open yourself up to temptation? That's like being on a diet and sitting in an ice cream shop...

 

[peanutbutter12]

I love it when Christians look at everything from a temptational look. It's as if they are ready to burst on the inside because they desire sex so badly that the first chance they get, they will jump on it.

The reality is that you can have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not have "SEX SEX SEX" be going through your mind the whole time. I think some people just need to learn self-control. :\

CJ

 

[Briseis]

I love it when Christians look at everything from a temptational look. It's as if they are ready to burst on the inside because they desire sex so badly that the first chance they get, they will jump on it.

The reality is that you can have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not have "SEX SEX SEX" be going through your mind the whole time. I think some people just need to learn self-control.

I agree. Temptation isnt that strong, is it? How could you live like that?

Did you actually feel like it was wrong, or are you only asking because you have been told that this kind of thing should be wrong? It all depends on how you felt. Who wants to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable, wrong or not?

So, how did you feel?

 

[bobsmith2]

I love it when Christians look at everything from a temptational look. It's as if they are ready to burst on the inside because they desire sex so badly that the first chance they get, they will jump on it.

The reality is that you can have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not have "SEX SEX SEX" be going through your mind the whole time. I think some people just need to learn self-control. :\

CJ

i can c wot u mean, but i think christians should b very carefull, cus if ur not concerned about temptation then ur gona fall to it, that wot i recon.

 

[bobsmith2]

I agree. Temptation isnt that strong, is it? How could you live like that?

Did you actually feel like it was wrong, or are you only asking because you have been told that this kind of thing should be wrong? It all depends on how you felt. Who wants to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable, wrong or not?

So, how did you feel?

it felt rite at the time, but the next mornin i was conserned that i did summin rong.

i dunno if ne of u hav herd it or not but mike pilovach's cake speach kept runnin through my head!

 

[Christlike_Faith]

well, if there's an option to not sleep together in term of proximity (despite not doing funny thing), I'd choose to sleep somewhere else just to make sure that it does't look like a husband & wife were sleeping together when someone who may happened to see it.
-just an opinion.
God bless.

 

[Mskedi]

Doesn't sound like a big deal to me.

 

[Briseis]

it felt rite at the time, but the next mornin i was conserned that i did summin rong.

i dunno if ne of u hav herd it or not but mike pilovach's cake speach kept runnin through my head!

I do not know mike pilovach, but as I said, who wants to do something that they feel uncomfortable with, wrong or not? If it bothers you, you dont have to do it.

 

[Kitten87]

From what I see you were fine. Sin is often more due to the intent than to the action, and in this case neither the action or the intent seemed to constitute a sin.

i'll second tht.

it is possible to actually sleep with someone and not have sex.

ive fallen asleep with my boyfriend before and we were totally fine. But my advice to you, if u feel like u may be tempted avoid being in that situation again.

Everyone has different strengths of self control its up to u because only u kno how u feel and what u think.

 

[bobsmith2]

i'll second tht.

it is possible to actually sleep with someone and not have sex.

ive fallen asleep with my boyfriend before and we were totally fine. But my advice to you, if u feel like u may be tempted avoid being in that situation again.

Everyone has different strengths of self control its up to u because only u kno how u feel and what u think.

i didnt feal like i was being tempted, because im pritty sure i wouldnt have slept with her if i had felt that.
i know it not good if you are tempted, but as i wasnt i just was wondering if it was seen as being ok or not.

has any one got any bible verses to back either argument up?

 

[peanutbutter12]

i can c wot u mean, but i think christians should b very carefull, cus if ur not concerned about temptation then ur gona fall to it, that wot i recon.

Well, I can assure you that what you recon is wrong.

All throughout my teens and into my 20's I had friendly relationships like that and no of them I found temptation to do anything but sleep or watch tv. I'm married now so the only person I'm in bed with is my wife, and I'm allowed to have sex with her.

But for those many years, I never once felt the need to be touchy feely with a friend who I might have been "asleep" with. Some of you just need to learn self-control and not to "get feelings" for every person you meet. :\

CJ

 

[holo]

You're not as weak as they say, and you're not as helpless as you think. You already seem to know that it's ok. Your brain seems to be working as it should, as does your respect for yourself and the girl in question.

The fact that some treat this as an impossibly tempting situation says a whole lot more about them than about you.

But you do sin gravely in one area though; writing "b4", "cus" and "nite" is simply unacceptable.