Is it wrong to have a sleepover with your boyfriend, if the two of you fall asleep to a movie while sharing a blanket on the couch instead of a bed and the only pajamas involved are t-shirts and windpants? There's nothing sexual at all, its just that we don't get to see each other every day and we have a hard time saying good-bye at the end of the night.
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Sleeping together, quite literally
- Thread starter Mercytalking
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I think its like playing with fire and two normal people will eventually be aroused by that experience even if not the first time.
Also..... not a popular opinion.... is nothing sacred anymore? Nothing special? Why is it people are always asking how much they can get away with? It just bugs me.
Also..... not a popular opinion.... is nothing sacred anymore? Nothing special? Why is it people are always asking how much they can get away with? It just bugs me.
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i don't get to see my boyfriend every day (more like a few days every few months) and we have a hard time saying goodbye but we don't do that. why bother? i know how comfortable it can be to cuddle with someone you love but why carry it so far? why create an atmosphere so intimate that it could easily lead to something else(even fully clothed temptation can rear its ugly head 
)? why risk your reputations/witnesses as Christians? How does that honor Christ?
)? why risk your reputations/witnesses as Christians? How does that honor Christ?
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Beautiful Fireball
Tomorrow is another day
I spend Friday night through Monday morning at my bf's house and we do share a bed. I don't see a problem with it, but I do know that I also have different beliefs as far as this topic goes then most people.
I think though, that if you feel it is wrong or lead you somewhere that you don't want to go, then you shouldn't do it.
I think though, that if you feel it is wrong or lead you somewhere that you don't want to go, then you shouldn't do it.
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
Like playing with fire if this is something done on a regular basis, but if you both just fell asleep once; sleeping is not a sin.
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Its not on a regular basis at all actually, and no oppurtunity for it to be, cuz I live with my parents, who never leave town. And to be completely honest there's really no temptation involved at all, just, uh, cuddliness (I know, I don't get it either!). Unless, of course, he's just not sayin anything.
And its not something that I want to know if I can get away with, its something that would cut out a lot of worry and hassle at the end of the night (my boy's a little mangled because of his tendency to sleep at the wheel when he drives late, and he lives about 25-30 minutes from me). I'm not interested in goin any further than we already have.
But I can see the point about losing my witness, and how some people wouldnt be able to understand. He's wanted to spend the night the one time my parents left town when I was home for the weekend, and he;'s invited me to sleep at his house before, too, and I've always told him no. I guess I'll just continue to do that. Thanks for your help!
And its not something that I want to know if I can get away with, its something that would cut out a lot of worry and hassle at the end of the night (my boy's a little mangled because of his tendency to sleep at the wheel when he drives late, and he lives about 25-30 minutes from me). I'm not interested in goin any further than we already have.
But I can see the point about losing my witness, and how some people wouldnt be able to understand. He's wanted to spend the night the one time my parents left town when I was home for the weekend, and he;'s invited me to sleep at his house before, too, and I've always told him no. I guess I'll just continue to do that. Thanks for your help!
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Special_J
Senior Veteran
Hey there,
My girlfriend lives in a different town from me, like on the other side of the M25, and I live in res, so if she comes to visit me, she pretty much has to stay over and there's no other place for her to sleep but in my room/in my bed. I know that our purity has suffered in situations like this.
I think that as long as you aren't tempted into sexual sin then it's cool, but I wouldn't make a habit of it.
My girlfriend lives in a different town from me, like on the other side of the M25, and I live in res, so if she comes to visit me, she pretty much has to stay over and there's no other place for her to sleep but in my room/in my bed. I know that our purity has suffered in situations like this.
I think that as long as you aren't tempted into sexual sin then it's cool, but I wouldn't make a habit of it.
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I don't think it's a good idea to share a bed (albeit in this case a couch) because it does set a bad example, it will lead to temptation, and like Leanna said - sleeping together is something special for marriage.
If your boyfriend stays at your family home too late to drive safely home, why can't he sleep on the couch in the living room, or in a spare room while you sleep in your room?
I know it's hard, but sacrifices like this are part of the Christian walk. It will be of great benefit to your future marriage if you make these sacrifices now.
If your boyfriend stays at your family home too late to drive safely home, why can't he sleep on the couch in the living room, or in a spare room while you sleep in your room?
I know it's hard, but sacrifices like this are part of the Christian walk. It will be of great benefit to your future marriage if you make these sacrifices now.
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gottabemore2life
Princess - Just a Little Girl
- Nov 8, 2007
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My boyfriend also lives out of town and when he is home on the weekends, we usually do fall asleep together. Saying goodbye is hard!!!
I really don't understand why sleeping together is wrong, especially if it's just sleeping. Often if my boyfriend is in town and we aren't together, it's really difficult for me to fall asleep! I like that closeness and intimacy. And it is a completely NON-SEXUAL intimacy.
We don't spend the whole night together, as we don't want to give people the wrong idea, but we do take naps and I may spend some of the night there, then drive home.
I really don't understand why sleeping together is wrong, especially if it's just sleeping. Often if my boyfriend is in town and we aren't together, it's really difficult for me to fall asleep! I like that closeness and intimacy. And it is a completely NON-SEXUAL intimacy.
We don't spend the whole night together, as we don't want to give people the wrong idea, but we do take naps and I may spend some of the night there, then drive home.
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Weasel7711
I'm in love with a bunnymedic!
- Jun 17, 2004
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I'd have to say that I don't think you did anything wrong, but as I think someone else said, it depends on your own opinion and beliefs. I too (as do a few others) live with my boyfriend, but it is something we are both comfortable with. Ultimately, it needs to be between you and your boyfriend, not other people on this site. You two are the ones who are going to have to live with any guilt you get by not going with your own beliefs, but I do know that others opinions are helpful, so there is mine.
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explodingboy
Guest
for the OP no harm done, Ive fallen asleep watching late night movies with my GF at times. If anything her parents keep trying to keep me there over night >_>
the only time we've slept in the same house alone she had my bed and I took the couch, though thats more because she kicks once tired and the bed isnt very big.
As to all the playing with fire, honestly if you just want to cuddle up, there probobly isn't any fire or smoke to worry about.
the only time we've slept in the same house alone she had my bed and I took the couch, though thats more because she kicks once tired and the bed isnt very big.
As to all the playing with fire, honestly if you just want to cuddle up, there probobly isn't any fire or smoke to worry about.
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Ceili
God's plan makes a beautiful arrangement
You know what? I have lived that scene with my current on again boyfriend when we first had our dates together and for the first time in my life,I realized that I was with a beautiful person.My self perception of guys at that age hadn't quite been good. In the course of a long night all he wanted from me was convo and a safe spot to be. It can be fine.Not all can be angels but spending time alone all night can boost your friendship.
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tessas212
Dog Behavior Consultant
I was given the most wonderful gift of all. It wasn't anything material - it was no ring, no necklace. It was him. He picked me up, kidnapped me and took me back to his house for the night. We stayed up all night and we were absolutely good. We played games and talked all night. The most perfect gift of all was being given the opportunity to grow closer and closer to him in every way possible. For him to do whatever it is that he does(and isn't even aware of) to make me fall absolutely, completely, madly in love with him over and over again. For him to be given the perfect oppurtunity to try and influence me to do something bad, but instead loving me in a pure and honest way - keeping his hands to himself other than to touch my face or to pet my hair. For him to give me more and more reason to trust him and know that he respects me. For him and I to pray together and grow closer to God as we grow closer to each other. There has never been any gift better than this Christmas present I've experienced this Christmas. I can't thank God enough.
And we don't object to doing that again. Though next time we'll actually try to sleep. I was so dead this morning and my sleeping patterns are messed up. Completely worth it.
**Note: Though we absolutely loved spending this time with each other and were able to remain pure, we both also acknowledge the closer we grow, the more natural it will be for us to want to go further. We have learned to control our hormones quite well, but when the feelings are not based off as much of just stupid hormones and instead complete, pure, passionate love for each other - we do know it will be harder. We both are very strong in our belief in waiting until marriage, and both of us can be pretty shy. He also has the fear of hurting me because of my past of being sexually molested as a child. So far we've been very much blessed and protected. We have seen what screwing up and having sex has done to friends, and we do not want that. We will choose to be careful and pure.
And we don't object to doing that again. Though next time we'll actually try to sleep. I was so dead this morning and my sleeping patterns are messed up. Completely worth it.
**Note: Though we absolutely loved spending this time with each other and were able to remain pure, we both also acknowledge the closer we grow, the more natural it will be for us to want to go further. We have learned to control our hormones quite well, but when the feelings are not based off as much of just stupid hormones and instead complete, pure, passionate love for each other - we do know it will be harder. We both are very strong in our belief in waiting until marriage, and both of us can be pretty shy. He also has the fear of hurting me because of my past of being sexually molested as a child. So far we've been very much blessed and protected. We have seen what screwing up and having sex has done to friends, and we do not want that. We will choose to be careful and pure.
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The Julikenz
God is not a misogynist
I honestly don't think it's a big deal if you can both be clear on what you want (in terms of boundaries) and its not creating problems. Some people it does, some people it doesn't. Alot of it depends on circumstance.
My SO and I never had that problem before we were dating, there was a lot of trust and respect, and it was out of convenience rather than sexual desire.
My SO and I never had that problem before we were dating, there was a lot of trust and respect, and it was out of convenience rather than sexual desire.
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cakes&buttercream
Senior Veteran
I don't see that as being a bad thing. Enjoy what time you two can cherish together.
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I am not gonna tell you what it might lead to is wrong, because thats not what you asked about. You asked if sleeping on the couch together is wrong. I dont think there is, although I would personally never do it because I wanna save as much as I can for marriage, to make it that much more special.
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