Sleeping over when there are kids?

[jamesrwright3]

I was wondering what everyone thought about when there are children involved? No, I wouldn't be staying in the same bed as my girlfriend when the kids are around. I would be spending the night upstairs in a separate bedroom. Her bedroom is actually downstairs..Would this be ok? I just want to be extra careful regarding this..don't want to give the impression of anything improper...

 

[Warrior Poet]

The best impression you can give is a respectful one... staying the night IMO is bad form. That is simply IMO though.

Warrior Poet

 

[IslandBreeze]

Why do you need to spend the night?

 

[katelyn]

Yeah, my question is pretty much the same as Cammie's. Is there a reason for you to be spending the night, like you live far away or something?

 

[jamesrwright3]

Well honestly it's just a matter of convenience since we stay up and like to spend a lot of time together. By the time 2-3 am rolls around, it would be much easier to crawl upstairs and into the bed than to drive home.

 

[FarFromHome]

I would have a serious problem spending the night. Even if everything is completely innocent, how will it be perceived to others? While I understand the convenience factor, I still wouldn't spend the night. Why? I don't want to be a stumbling block to my fellow brothers and sisters. That is more important to me than convenience will be any day!

 

[Krystina661]

I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[katelyn]

Personally, I don't think it's a great idea. It could be confusing to the kids, and is also too much like living together/playing house. It's great that you love talking and spending time together, but the whole seeming-like-you-live-together thing is probably best left until you are certain you want to marry her. Otherwise you will most likely kind of feel married (even if you are not crossing the line physically), you know, by seeing her at the breakfast table in the morning and stuff like that. I don't know how old her kids are, but if they are old enough it will definitely leave them wondering if they start feeling like you kind of live with them.

 

[jepvc4]

What I'm wondering is, who the heck are these kids?

 

[lucypevensie]

I just want to be extra careful regarding this..don't want to give the impression of anything improper...

I think it'd give the impression of something improper.

 

[Krystina661]

What I'm wondering is, who the heck are these kids?

I was thinking most likely her Children. Would there be a problem with that?

 

[jepvc4]

Hmm, possibly. You could lead the kids to believe that he is a similar type of man as was their father, if the case is that the kids were born out of wedlock. This could cause the kids to make certain assumptions, I suppose, and that probably wouldn't be desired. Plus, little kids have big mouths, and don't aways convey the facts correctly. That could certainly have bad consequences .

 

[Pope Gonzo]

I don't think the convenience of it is a good reason. Yes, it's a lot easier, but at the same time, it becomes, "Well, if I'm just sleeping here, we can stay up and make out for a little while more." (Note: I'm not saying that this is what your relationship is like, but I know this is what it would be like between me and my girlfriend) The only times my girlfriend and I have slept in the same... living space, I guess, were once in my parents' house because we were leaving the next morning for a road trip, and once at her apartment(I slept on the couch in the living room, she slept in her bedroom) because I was too tired to drive the 45 minutes home. It's not a habit we try to repeat

 

[JillLars]

I normally wouldn't have a problem with it, but I don't think its a good idea if there are kids there.

As some people have already mentioned, the kids may misinterpret things, or they may think you are becoming their "new daddy" and if this isn't a position you're ready to assume, you shouldn't be staying over. It may cause confusion if they expect you to be there and you're not, or vice versa. I'd say try to wrap it up a little earlier so you're not too tired to drive home

(BTW, this is something my mom had done since my parents divorced, and it has been a very confusing adjustment for my brothers who are still living at home.)

 

[FarFromHome]

The problem with spending the night is when you can't control the temptations. It will eventually catch up with you... Maybe not tonite or even tomorrow. But if you habitually spend the night over at your girlfriend/fiances I would say that 7/10 people will be having sex before they are married.

What amazes me is the responses I've seen in this thread. So many people are willing to put themselves in a situation that could lead them down a path they will regret in the long run.

 

[jamesrwright3]

To be very honest yes the temptation is there, and quite honestly we have slipped up..but not recently. That is a danger you have anytime that you are alone with someone that you care about.

 

[Silent Enigma]

To be very honest yes the temptation is there, and quite honestly we have slipped up..but not recently. That is a danger you have anytime that you are alone with someone that you care about.

I guess that would make it a double bad idea.

 

[jepvc4]

Double bad, yes.

Bad idea for putting yourself in a situation where it is easy to sin.
Bad idea for not preventing her from sinning.

 

[FarFromHome]

Double bad, yes.

Bad idea for putting yourself in a situation where it is easy to sin.
Bad idea for not preventing her from sinning.

Well put!

 

[jamesrwright3]

Well I should have indicated that I have recently come back to my faith after a long abscence. Those slip-ups happened before I came back to God. Since then, we have been able to keep our level of affection at kissing. As I said, I don't see us slipping up anymore so sexual temptation is not a factor in my decision.