Sleeping issues!

[Princessperky]

IT isn't a two way disscussion it is a 4 bazzilion way. You can CIO, teaching your kid to cry themselves to sleep, you can cosleep saving the independant self soothing for later, you can go with an inbetween method (fade out is my pick), you can hold out on learning to cry to sleep till they are older, you can ....

You get the picture, all I am saying is pick what works for you, do not be swayed by 'experts' on CIO or Cosleeping, or Gradual methods, go with your gut, if you want your kid to learn to cry themselfes to sleep it is a faster method of sleeping alone, if you want to avoid it, but not share the bed, go with a gradual no tears approach. If you don't mind being kicked in the night (or are lucky enough to have still sleepers) go with the family bed.

Your family will not work with someone elses parenting tecniques!.

 

[JustMandy]

Okay, I have read all the posts and am impressed we are able to debate CIO vs. AP with out a battle!! I have done it all and I feel that at your baby's age you need to do what works for your family You and your husband need to be in agreement (forget the doctor...is he on the couch in the middle of the night?) Then take into consideration the needs of your child, not the faceless "children" we hear about ("children" need to learn indipendance, "children" need closeness)

I have let kids CIO, sleep with me, in their rooms, in my room. My First son was awake fron 9 pm to 2 am every night for his first 5 weeks, we let him sleep in our room in the swing at night!! Desperate times call for desparate measures. My daughter slept in hr swing for every nap until she was too heavy for it. My baby now (6 weeks) is a good sleeper. He's in our room (no way was I gonna go across the house for all those feedings!) and sometimes in our bed (Dh doesn't like it all the time, otherwise he's prolly be a co-sleeper)


My point is YOU know what your baby needs, not a book, philosophy, doctor, grandma, me, anyone! If you think your baby can tolerate CIO do it, if 3 minutes into it you realize she's not doing well, cuddle her, pat her whatever and move on. Also, give it a couple more weeks, if she's formula fed, she'll be having longer streches of sleep and will be more tolerant of being in her crib (longer deep sleep time) and soon that will become her habit. If she's breast fed, she will go longer (though not so long as formula) but her age will help out.

Don't worry about trying to get it right in one week...you may be on the couch every now and again for a while, but soon she'll be walking and talking and having her own ideas and you'll wonder what happened to that little baby who would only sleep in your arms.

 

[JustMandy]

Daggon that was a long post...sorry!

 

[EmSchmem]

Here is some information about the "CIO" method that involves going in to comfort on intervals...

The Ferber Method
Many parents choose to use the so-called Ferber method of teaching their babies to sleep through the night. This method involves responding to a baby's nighttime crying at timed intervals (i.e. five, ten, fifteen minutes), and minimizing the amount of nighttime interaction between parent and child.

Suzi and Joe Prokell of Richardson, Texas, relied on such a technique to teach their eight month old son Jacob how to sleep through the night. "The rewards were immediate. He's slept through the night ever since and he's been much happier during the day."

While the Ferber method is considered to be highly effective - most parents see a tremendous improvement in their child's sleep patterns within a period of days - not everyone sings its praises.

Dr Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago and the author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is one of its most outspoken critics. He argues that it makes more sense to leave well enough alone, and encourages parents to respect - rather than attempt to alter - their baby's emerging sleep patterns. "Parents can't change the evolving rhythm of a baby's sleep patterns any more than they can change the seasons," he said. "What's more, parents who artificially interfere with their child's sleep patterns risk doing more harm than good."
​

 

[Leanna]

I'm sorry if I came off sounding like I think our choice is inherently better than anyone else's choice. There are many ways to raise great kids, and kids all have different needs. However, if people who chose the CIO approach can freely and passionatly present their perspective on how they got struggle-free bedtimes, as you did CarrieAg, I think a healthy, helpful discussion can stand to have another view point also presented.

I knew there had to be a way cosleepers had sex because they always do seem to manage more kids... lol.... but as for us, I only see my husband after 6pm and if I didn't have after bedtime I could forget more kids. Anyway I am happy with not cosleeping. When I am sleeping, I kind of need my space anyway. I am glad you offered your POV though in case the OP wants to cosleep.

 

[CarrieAg93]

I'm sorry if I came off sounding like I think our choice is inherently better than anyone else's choice. There are many ways to raise great kids, and kids all have different needs. However, if people who chose the CIO approach can freely and passionatly present their perspective on how they got struggle-free bedtimes, as you did CarrieAg, I think a healthy, helpful discussion can stand to have another view point also presented. .

I agree that presenting another viewpoint is great and helpful to the OP, but when you take a direct quote from someone's post and then question it's validity you are placing that person in a position to defend their opinion. I do not come to CF to change someone's ideas about parenting. I was simply offering the OP what worked for us. I am happy that co-sleeping works for you and I'm sure all of our children are happy and well adjusted.

 

[sammipher]

Actually my post has nothing to do with sex...I just do not feel comfortable sleeping with her...I get practically no sleep..and the sleep I do isn't restful...I worry about rolling on her...her smothering...I also have nightmares and at times before realizing it I jump up out of bed to turn on lights...Though I have not did any of this with her...it scares me to think I would forget her laying there and her fall off the bed or couch..also my hubby does not feel comfortable with her in the bed cause he is a heavy sleeper...in general it is for safety issues..and yes I do miss just sleeping in the same bed as hubby....but both of us have to agree when it comes to parenting..she afterall is both of our child....but having all point of views is great...but the thread was meant for advice on her sleeping alone since that is our dec...sorry if i offend anyone in advance.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

Though I have not did any of this with her...it scares me to think I would forget her laying there and her fall off the bed or couch

interesting you mention this, i did exactly that, thats why i hate him ever sleeping with me which he rarely does anymore. the first week he was home he was alseep on my chest and i was in a deep sleep, the phone rang loud and i flew out of bed (thinking it was him in his bed crying) and he ended up on the floor screaming........ boy did i feel like a bad mom

 

[Gracie710]

Wow, this post brings up some EMOTIONS in me! I was SO gung-ho about attachment parenting when I had my beloved little weeble wobble, who is now 9 months old. Daddy and I were BOTH totally into sleeping with our beautiful little creation . . . how wonderful, warm, and cozy it would be, the three of us in our little cocoon, me sleeping while Baby nursed if she needed it, her growing up happy and strong, knowing that her Mommy and Daddy were warm bodies cozied up to meet her every need . . .

And it WAS great for maybe two months, when I was so hepped up on hormone changes that I felt like I could live without sleep . . . but every peep she made woke me up and even the little snatches of sleep I could get were not refreshing. Then I ended up out on the couch every night because I couldn't sleep with her snuffling, breathing, sighing all night, so she and Daddy would co-sleep, and I'd jump up every hour and a half, two hours to breastfeed her . . .

that lasted a couple of months, until my husband and I started fighting because I was so tired I would wake up half-hallucinating in the middle of the night, running into walls, bruising myself up . . . dying from fatigue, still, I didn't want my little snuggle buns in her own crib and we didn't have an extra room for her . . .

Then I realized if I were to preserve my sanity and my marriage, something would have to change (perhaps it was me yelling "AHHHHHHHHHHH" at the top of my lungs at three in the morning from sheer total exhaustion . . .)

Realized dd needs very quiet dark room to sleep . . . tried CIO, ended up bawling myself, she cried even with Daddy right there with her, because she just wanted to breastfeed at whim . . .

We finally got her sleeping through the night! We drag our mattress into the living room and she sleeps in the dark, quiet bedroom by herself . . . and I am starting to be sane again.

The moral of the story . . . ya gotta do what works for you. If cosleeping works, GREAT! If putting your child in their own room works, GREAT!

Myself, I LOOOVE sleeping! And all my bruises are clearing up, LOL!!

 

[andiesmama]

The moral of the story . . . ya gotta do what works for you. If cosleeping works, GREAT! If putting your child in their own room works, GREAT!

Myself, I LOOOVE sleeping! And all my bruises are clearing up, LOL!!

That says it all right there....you just have to find something that works for you. I LOOOOVE sleeping, too, and the only way I was going to get sleep AND be a better mom/wife/person (because, trust me, when I go without sleep.... lol) was to get Andie to where she could self-soothe and get herself sleeping.

It worked for us....but every child and every family is different, that's what makes the world go 'round!

 

[Leanna]

Yup I need my sleep too. My husband needs his sleep even more. My husband had today off so he agreed to get up in the morning and let me sleep in (we take turns at this on all days off) and then he stayed up until midnight. David got up a little early at 6 am. My husband was crabby allllllll day. But he still did it (guess its his turn on Saturday to sleep in)

 

[andiesmama]

That's what we did when Andie was younger. Ty would get up in the nights & early morning on the weekends so I could get some sleep....then we BOTH would take a nap when she did in the afternoon....well, we still do that, acutally! (the nap thing, I mean!)

 

[dews]

When my kids were newborns I would watch their eyes until they get those "long blinks" like they are going to fall asleep. Then I put them in the crib.

 

[sammipher]

Well last night was a whole lot better...we only tried for three hours again..due to the batteries in the monitor set going out. She did a whole lot better...we still went in every 15 min, if she was not sleeping and only if she was crying to comfort her. She actually slept a good part. So I am feeling more comfortable about it and I know she is getting more use to it.
We to do shifts...usually I have her during the day and when hubby comes home he gets her and he lets me do what I need to do..like housework I didn't get done during the day, shower if I didnt get one that morning, emailing my family, or sleep...if she sleeps during this time...we snuggle on the couch and catch up on some time with each other..overall when she is fed and changed...she is a great baby in our arms...she just has the problem with the crib.
Don't feel bad mstodd..I dont think your a bad mom..just one of those live and learn things that happen in parenthood...I am surprised lilly doesn't scream everytime she sees a huggies wipe box..I accidentially shut her little finger in there twice My mom has told me all the things she has done to me when I was a baby...surprised I am still here...lol...forget about my dad every time he watched me I literally ended up in the ER...I have had everything from stitches to catching my hair on fire with him....I guess thats why I watch lilly like a hawk.