What are your opinions on me, a guy, sleeping with a girl. No kind of sex, just cuddling, and falling asleep together. I personally see nothing wrong with it, and feel no conviction, but just looking for other views. thanks.
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sleep with a girl?
- Thread starter HowsItGoin
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HowsItGoin said:
Do you really think it's a good idea to open yourself up to that temptation?
It's just begging for trouble.
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T
the_cheat
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Sleeping side by side can be very trusting and intimate without being sexual. If you can do it without getting all lusty, I don't see a problem with it.
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yeah, its not even about sex, we're both virgins, and are just not sexual people, we are just romantic types. we both know for sure we won't be tempted, especially because there are other people always around.
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the_cheat
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HowsItGoin said:
If there are other people around, I think that makes it a lot less risky.
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HowsItGoin said:
Don't you think that this is exactly what all of the people who have fallen into this kind of sin said?
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Scholar in training
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You should make sure that no one mistakes what you are doing for lust. People might see you doing it (you said there are people around) or hear about it and get the wrong idea about you, or Christians in general. It would be a good idea to exercise caution, both in not lusting after her and preventing a rumor from being spread.HowsItGoin said:
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Scholar in training said:
everyone there is a christian, so they already know about the idea of christianity.
Scholar in training said:
i dont really care about what anyone thinks of me, cause obviously, i dont have to ever answer to them.
thanks for the reply.
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Scholar in training
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Paul said that we shouldn't offend a brother with a weak conscience. While I personally don't think it's a good idea for you to sleep with your girlfriend in the first place, if you do, you should be careful not to make any of the other Christians there stumble or cause non-Christians to gossip about you and (by extension, criticize) Christianity or God.HowsItGoin said:
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JesusWasn'tWhite
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I suppose I have been wondering about a similar thing.
I don't feel it's wrong to nap, to sleep, to cuddle, etc.. with your girlfriend or, in my case, boyfriend. But that's a very sketchy area. One has to make it very clear what can happen, and what cannot. Both girl and guy need to go into such situations being confident that if something turns sexual, one of them needs to jump in and say NO.
What also matters is not giving others the wrong impression. If you don't want it to look like you're having sex with her, don't make it look that way. Don't give others the opportunity to think that. Be intentional with your actions.
Other than just the "having sex" part of this issue is also a question of intimacy.
We, as people, need to guard ourselves, and protect our hearts. Intimacy is fine, but it has it's place, and needs boundaries and nurturing to grow and progess in a healthy way. Sleeping with someone, close physical contact, the sharing of one's deep emotions, and relational depth are all intimate things. We need not rush into intimacy, for the sake of our hearts.
Most of all, your love for your girlfriend (if you really do love her), should be paired with great respect for her as well. You will respect her body, heart, mind, and her reputation as a person, and Christian.
If you do not really love her, you have no place even asking if it's okay to sleep with her.
I don't feel it's wrong to nap, to sleep, to cuddle, etc.. with your girlfriend or, in my case, boyfriend. But that's a very sketchy area. One has to make it very clear what can happen, and what cannot. Both girl and guy need to go into such situations being confident that if something turns sexual, one of them needs to jump in and say NO.
What also matters is not giving others the wrong impression. If you don't want it to look like you're having sex with her, don't make it look that way. Don't give others the opportunity to think that. Be intentional with your actions.
Other than just the "having sex" part of this issue is also a question of intimacy.
We, as people, need to guard ourselves, and protect our hearts. Intimacy is fine, but it has it's place, and needs boundaries and nurturing to grow and progess in a healthy way. Sleeping with someone, close physical contact, the sharing of one's deep emotions, and relational depth are all intimate things. We need not rush into intimacy, for the sake of our hearts.
Most of all, your love for your girlfriend (if you really do love her), should be paired with great respect for her as well. You will respect her body, heart, mind, and her reputation as a person, and Christian.
If you do not really love her, you have no place even asking if it's okay to sleep with her.
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Thanks. Yes i really do love her. That's why my love goes beyond sex. I'd rather have an awesome relationship with her, and not have sex until marriage, than to base the relationship on sex.JesusWasn'tWhite said:
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JesusWasn'tWhite
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HowsItGoin -
If you have any more questions, concerns, whatever, feel free to PM me.
I've been thinking about similar things lately, and am open to sharing with you, to some extent, what I think.
If you have any more questions, concerns, whatever, feel free to PM me.
I've been thinking about similar things lately, and am open to sharing with you, to some extent, what I think.
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hmmm....how long have the two of u been together? in the beginning when my boyfriend and i started going out we didnt think wed be tempted either but now that weve been together for a year and 9 mos, i know that it starts to get harder to stay pure. plus, we as christians are supposed to stay away from even the appearance of evil. if other ppl see u doing this or know that u do this, dont u think they will think u are having sex? do u as a christian want to be representing this?
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well personally I would say that if you are christian and worried about it being wrong in religion, then I agree, just dont be tempted. Otherwise you shouldn't worry about it and make your own judgement and not worry what others would think about it
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HawaiianTropicalDude
Leaning on Him all the way
I saw your age and so that says you're over 18.Don't you think by now you'd not need anyones opinions on this?My view says sleeping and cuddling lead to more,no matter what you want to tell yourself-unless you have the willpower of a saint.
HowsItGoin said:
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BAITandHOOk
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HowsItGoin said:
Dr. Howard Hendricks did a survey of 280 men who were in the ministry and supposedly on fire for the Lord. Well, of the 280 men, 80 percent of the men fell out of the ministry. Of those men 90 percent admitted that it was because of sexual imoraltiy. Most of it all began in their office, sitting across from each other and counseling.
I remind you that Joseph (Gen. 38 0r 39) made a point to not be in the house alone with Potiphar's wife.
Lust is the second strongest drive in our bodies brother and we would be fools to think that we can win the battle of our flesh. David was a man after God's own heart and he fell along side with countless others.
Thats why we have so many falling out of the ministry today; because they weren't convicted and it wasn't ment to be sexual.
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