SLAPPED A PARENT

[Daniel C]

If the father raised his fist to the mother and Lily believed he was about to punch her, then she acted in her defense. She wouldn't have to wait for the father to actually punch first before acting in defense any more than a person with a gun has to fire a shot before someone else with a gun fires first to prevent him from doing so.

Right.

 

[Daniel C]

the laws and governments we have are ORDAINED of God. See Romans 13.

We could go more in depth with this but that would be off topic. Yeah Christians of course should be law abiding subjects or leave the country.

God simply does not bless all laws or else sodomite marriage and abortion would be Holy.

Perhaps another time.

 

[1Reformedman]

We could go more in depth with this but that would be off topic. Yeah Christians of course should be law abiding subjects or leave the country.

God simply does not bless all laws or else sodomite marriage and abortion would be Holy.

Perhaps another time.

There is nothing in the bible that says self-defense or coming to the defense of another is wrong. your comment about sodomite marriage and abortion is off topic.

 

[Daniel C]

There is nothing in the bible that says self-defense or coming to the defense of another is wrong. your comment about sodomite marriage and abortion is off topic.

Right.

 

[Toro]

Hello Everyone,

I'm currently new on here and I'd love some advice. There's sth that's really heavy laying on my heart. Throughout my whole childhood, my father was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother. The abuse continued more as the years went by.

Over the past last year their marriage has been on shaky ground to say the least. So today he came home buzzed but not drunk however he started hurling very hurtful words towards my mother. I was about to tell him to leave the room when I saw him raise his fist up like he was about to punch mother. I reacted on instinct then I pushed him away from her which led him to hit me on my chest immediately that happened I slapped him, it was almost an automatic response. He lunged at me but I moved away and my mother came between us and together (my mother and I ) - as he was fighting us managed to push him out of the bedroom and locked the room.

After tensions cooled down I went back into my room and strayed analyzing why I do such a thing. Never in my life have I ever raised my hand at someone let alone fought. That slap not only was it to protect my mum I realised I had held alot of resentment and anger towards my father.

I do not regret protecting my mother but I feel horrible about the slap. All things considered, he is still my father at the end of the day.

How do I handle this?

How do I handle the situation when he flips it around my mother and I and starts saying it's our fault?

In the flesh..... I'd say your dad is lucky you held back and only slapped him and nothing more.... IMO you did absolutely no wrong in protecting your mother.

That said, not to contradict my support as previously stated. I say you take your conscience to God, the TRUE Father and ask Him if the guilt/shame you feel is from Him, or is it from the accuser.

IF it is the "good guilt" that when all is said and done, has drawn you closer to God, then you embrace that guilt and you learn from it and draw closer to Him knowing you are forgiven. Like the guilt Peter felt after denying Christ for the third time.

If it is the useless guilt that tries to pull you away from the Father...like the guilt/remorse that Judas felt.... then take the issue to God, ask Him to forgive you of what is on your consciene, thenignore the guilt and move on knowing that feeling is the devil trying to draw you away.... and what he says doesnt matter, he is defeated and you are forgiven.

Ultimately, look to God to justify you, not to men.... let every man be a liar and for God to be true.

As I said, personally as I see it you have no reason to feel guilty, but I do not know exactly how or what God is currently working out in you and because I do not know how He plans to mold and shape you.... I can only advise you seek answers from Him as most of us, in our fleshly understanding will say "he had it coming".

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello Everyone,

I'm currently new on here and I'd love some advice. There's sth that's really heavy laying on my heart. Throughout my whole childhood, my father was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother. The abuse continued more as the years went by.

Over the past last year their marriage has been on shaky ground to say the least. So today he came home buzzed but not drunk however he started hurling very hurtful words towards my mother. I was about to tell him to leave the room when I saw him raise his fist up like he was about to punch mother. I reacted on instinct then I pushed him away from her which led him to hit me on my chest immediately that happened I slapped him, it was almost an automatic response. He lunged at me but I moved away and my mother came between us and together (my mother and I ) - as he was fighting us managed to push him out of the bedroom and locked the room.

After tensions cooled down I went back into my room and strayed analyzing why I do such a thing. Never in my life have I ever raised my hand at someone let alone fought. That slap not only was it to protect my mum I realised I had held alot of resentment and anger towards my father.

I do not regret protecting my mother but I feel horrible about the slap. All things considered, he is still my father at the end of the day.

How do I handle this?

How do I handle the situation when he flips it around my mother and I and starts saying it's our fault?

Hello Lily of the Valley, has your father ever been ~physically~ abusive to you or your mom in the past, or was this the 1st time for that (not that verbal and/or mental/emotional abuse, or throwing or breaking property items, or punching holes in the wall, etc., isn't horrible too).

Thanks!

BTW, there is no reason for you to feel bad about protecting your mother!

God bless you!

--David

 

[Sam91]

As far as that switch, it's typical of an abuser.. you find yourself walking around on egg shells not knowing what your next "mistake" will be, only knowing that sooner or later you'll do something and it will set him off.

If your mom wanted to leave she could - and she could today. My thoughts? She doesn't actually want to...

There are shelters for battered women in almost every western country, and from your usage of the word mum it's my bet your somewhere in Great Britain.. I'm sure Great Britain has a shelter for victims of domestic violence..

A shelter will provide a place for your mom and any minor children, and help her with an attorney or other means of legally getting herself out of the situation, as well as they will help her with getting a job and an income to get herself on her feet and help her with getting any government help as well, such as food stamps and aid with housing.

You need to find one - they don't give out the address they are located to protect the women they are helping, but they will give out their phone number, any police department will have it..

Get it, have your mom call them.

If she won't call - she's not ready to leave and it's not your job to get her ready.. your not her parent. It's your job to do what you need to do for yourself and to keep you safe.

That's my best advice.

The UK has great resources for looking after women fleeing abuse.

 

[Joined2krist]

What if he killed your mum while beating her? I don't think you intended to slap him, you were only protecting your mum buttjimgs escalated

 

[Anhelyna]

I've no idea where this impression that Lily of the Valley is UK based came from.

Please do check her profile/info before offering suggestions based on a particular country

 

[Redwingfan9]

Hello Everyone,

I'm currently new on here and I'd love some advice. There's sth that's really heavy laying on my heart. Throughout my whole childhood, my father was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother. The abuse continued more as the years went by.

Over the past last year their marriage has been on shaky ground to say the least. So today he came home buzzed but not drunk however he started hurling very hurtful words towards my mother. I was about to tell him to leave the room when I saw him raise his fist up like he was about to punch mother. I reacted on instinct then I pushed him away from her which led him to hit me on my chest immediately that happened I slapped him, it was almost an automatic response. He lunged at me but I moved away and my mother came between us and together (my mother and I ) - as he was fighting us managed to push him out of the bedroom and locked the room.

After tensions cooled down I went back into my room and strayed analyzing why I do such a thing. Never in my life have I ever raised my hand at someone let alone fought. That slap not only was it to protect my mum I realised I had held alot of resentment and anger towards my father.

I do not regret protecting my mother but I feel horrible about the slap. All things considered, he is still my father at the end of the day.

How do I handle this?

How do I handle the situation when he flips it around my mother and I and starts saying it's our fault?

Attempting to protect the physical wellbeing of your mother is honoring her. As for your old man, I would explain to him why it happened and that you believe his physical abuse is sin and encourage him to repent.

 

[Aldebaran]

This should be fork in the road for you but not because of the father incident.

Something you will notice in this thread is pretty much all the advice you have received from members have come from people influenced from the heathen justice system. So what?

Heathens don't even understand what love is or justice and certainly not forgiveness,so we must be very careful when being guided because we do not want to be guided by the wrong thing. Civil laws,increasingly are being passed by heathen mindset so to be in agreement with them in to be separated with God and if a person is a Christian that can be lethal for their spirituality.

Judging by some of the comments on this thread I would have thought it was put to an non-believer opinion poll due to the lack of grace and forgiveness. Calls for maximum punishment when we don't even know your parents life or marriage is acting on emotion,which is what the heathen does because they don't have the spirit of God plain and simply.

The fork in the road being for you as a young person how much you intend to walk with the world and walk with God.

I've heard this type of reasoning before when people discuss defending self or others. I've never seen a valid Christian principle being upheld by standing by and allowing someone to attack you or someone else. The often-quoted statement by Jesus to turn the other cheek when someone slaps you is one that is applied wrongly when it's a situation where you're not being slapped on the cheek, but rather threatened with a knife or being shot at with a gun, or beaten with a baseball bat. Nothing at all unChristian about protecting someone who is being assaulted. If we're to help the poor and those who are in need, then why would it be wrong to help those who are being assaulted/beaten/killed?

 

[Daniel C]

I've heard this type of reasoning before when people discuss defending self or others. I've never seen a valid Christian principle being upheld by standing by and allowing someone to attack you or someone else. The often-quoted statement by Jesus to turn the other cheek when someone slaps you is one that is applied wrongly when it's a situation where you're not being slapped on the cheek, but rather threatened with a knife or being shot at with a gun, or beaten with a baseball bat. Nothing at all unChristian about protecting someone who is being assaulted. If we're to help the poor and those who are in need, then why would it be wrong to help those who are being assaulted/beaten/killed?

The mother didn't get assaulted though.

You are the second person that mentioned turn the other cheek after the lawyer and that is not the point I was making.

And I don't think your comparisons where you use the weapons and the poor are good at illustrating the desired point.

 

[Aldebaran]

The mother didn't get assaulted though.

You are the second person that mentioned turn the other cheek after the lawyer and that is not the point I was making.

And I don't think your comparisons where you use the weapons and the poor are good at illustrating the desired point.

Then at what point should Lily have waited to intervene, if at all? If she sincerely believed that her mother was about to take a fist to the face, when (if at all) should she have intervened, and how?

 

[Mayflower1]

Id say the police should be called out. No one should have to go through that. Sometimes love is kicking a person out until they get the help they need. Not you. Your father.

 

[messianist]

Dust your self down and move on, pray that you will never be put in this situation again and for the protection for your mam and your self.

 

[Robin Mauro]

Hello Everyone,

I'm currently new on here and I'd love some advice. There's sth that's really heavy laying on my heart. Throughout my whole childhood, my father was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother. The abuse continued more as the years went by.

Over the past last year their marriage has been on shaky ground to say the least. So today he came home buzzed but not drunk however he started hurling very hurtful words towards my mother. I was about to tell him to leave the room when I saw him raise his fist up like he was about to punch mother. I reacted on instinct then I pushed him away from her which led him to hit me on my chest immediately that happened I slapped him, it was almost an automatic response. He lunged at me but I moved away and my mother came between us and together (my mother and I ) - as he was fighting us managed to push him out of the bedroom and locked the room.

After tensions cooled down I went back into my room and strayed analyzing why I do such a thing. Never in my life have I ever raised my hand at someone let alone fought. That slap not only was it to protect my mum I realised I had held alot of resentment and anger towards my father.

I do not regret protecting my mother but I feel horrible about the slap. All things considered, he is still my father at the end of the day.

How do I handle this?

How do I handle the situation when he flips it around my mother and I and starts saying it's our fault?

Your dad knows, deep in his heart, he is wrong. If you get the chance to talk, when it is not escalated, you can tell him you are sorry for the slap, and you felt, and feel, terrible about it, but that he needs help, to treat your mom right.
Hang in there; sounds like you are doing what's right, and your heart is right. Pray for him, and bind up the spirits that have a stranglehold on him right now, in Jesus' Holy Name.

 

[RaymondG]

Hello Everyone,

I'm currently new on here and I'd love some advice. There's sth that's really heavy laying on my heart. Throughout my whole childhood, my father was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother. The abuse continued more as the years went by.

Over the past last year their marriage has been on shaky ground to say the least. So today he came home buzzed but not drunk however he started hurling very hurtful words towards my mother. I was about to tell him to leave the room when I saw him raise his fist up like he was about to punch mother. I reacted on instinct then I pushed him away from her which led him to hit me on my chest immediately that happened I slapped him, it was almost an automatic response. He lunged at me but I moved away and my mother came between us and together (my mother and I ) - as he was fighting us managed to push him out of the bedroom and locked the room.

After tensions cooled down I went back into my room and strayed analyzing why I do such a thing. Never in my life have I ever raised my hand at someone let alone fought. That slap not only was it to protect my mum I realised I had held alot of resentment and anger towards my father.

I do not regret protecting my mother but I feel horrible about the slap. All things considered, he is still my father at the end of the day.

How do I handle this?

How do I handle the situation when he flips it around my mother and I and starts saying it's our fault?

This is confusing...... along with all the replies.

Had your father ever hit your mother before.?.... which would give you good reason to believe he was going to do it again in this occasion? Of not, it was more likely your disdain for your father, that led you to hit him and not any belief of eminent danger to your mother. This, you will have to give an account for.

If your father has abused, physically, your mother in the past, I believe you reacted in a way that many would.