Single - need your advice/support

[Marat]

I live in Kazakhstan, a country where there are not many Christians. I myself used to be a Muslim, until 12 years ago when I believed in our Lord Jesus Christ as my only Savior.

I'm almost 30, never been married before and of course have been dreaming about meeting a nice Christian lady that I would love and who would love me too, that I could marry. Well, I haven't found one yet. I don't know what are exact reasons. Perhaps one of the reasons is that I'm overly occupied with my professional career and have no much time for relationships. Maybe it's also because I've been attending our small church for the past 8 years. What I'm trying to say is that I don't get to meet too many Christians in my home country. I do know a few young Christian ladies, but it's just that I haven't met one that I'd fall in love with. You might tell me, find a non-Christian young lady, lead her to faith in Christ and then marry her. Well, that's easy to say - I've tried that path a couple of times before, but it didn't seem to work. The most complicated thing in here is of course the aspect of love, if you understand.

I'm more and more thinking about marrying a non-Christian lady hoping that some day she would also believe in Christ. Well, that's not so easy too because most of them (if not all) have completely different values, views, interests and priorities in life, so it's very difficult to find someone who'd share mine, really, among them.

About my personality, I'm good-natured, my looks are not bad, I speak several languages, well-educated. I don't have any problems getting along with ladies, being friends with them. What I'm trying to say that I don't think it's some kind of a personal problem. I'm telling you all this so that you'd have a better understanding of my situation.

I know all this may sound overly complicated to you, or somewhat exaggerated, however it's not.

I've been praying a lot, and for years, I think I do have faith - if you understand what I mean - but... as it stands now, I'm becoming a little desperate...

Any good advice - any words of support - will be greatly appreciated.

 

[jenptcfan]

Hi there and welcome to the board!

I can imagine that it is difficult to meet other Christians in a country where most people are not Christian. The only thing I can say is--the Bible tells us not to become unequally yoked (unbeliever with believer), so I would not suggest marrying someone in hopes that you can lead them to the Lord. It's usually not a good idea to get involved with someone, all the while thinking you can change them or they will change on their own. It's not really fair to either party.

I wish you the best of luck. Remember that God is in control, and he's the God of miracles. If he intends for you to marry, he will make a way.


J

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hi Marat!

I'll join jenptcfan in welcoming you to CF! :wave!

I don't think what you have described sounds complicated or exaggerated at all. In fact, believe it or not, there are many singles on this board struggling with much of the same thing you are. Hopefully what you will find here is some good fellowship and that you will make some friends along the way. I wish I had the answers for you. I wish I had the answers for all of us! But there is only One who does. And He promises that He has a plan for us. Sometimes it is for us to marry and sometimes His plan leads us elsewhere. But, wherever it leads us, it will be good, if He is our Shepherd.

Just join in and make yourself at home!

 

[yonderboy]

Hey Marat!

Myself, I havent been single as long as a lot of the folks here - broke up with my ex about 7 months ago - but she'd been the only girl i'd seen seriously to that point, so being single afterwards is a new experience for me. It can be scary sometimes, wondering if God has someone out there for me - in the end I take it on faith that he's got something great!

Let me warn you about trying to convert a girl, as Jen did: it's not fair to start a relationship already planning or hoping to change someone. Not only that, but it'll keep you from growing as close to her as you could have otherwise. It's hard, but let God send the right girl your way in his own time... that's my current plan.

Peace and love bro.
Alberto

 

[Marat]

Hi jenptcfan,

Thanks for welcoming! Well, I absolutely agree with you about marrying a non-Christian.

P.S. You have a beautiful smile!

 

[Marat]

Hi wvmtnkid,

Thank you for welcoming and for directing me to God.

 

[Marat]

Hi Alberto / yonderboy,

Thank you for sharing your own situation and I hope that the Lord leads you to meeting a girl according to His will.

I agree with you that it's not only unfair to get involved with a non-Christian but also will lead to a less close relationship as it could have been. In fact, I don't think you can be really close to someone who doesn't share your faith. Talking about Kazakh girls, most of them are quite far from any faith, because Kazakhstan is a very secular country. Actually, they woould be sympathizing towards Islam because it's a "cultural" religion, even though the majority have very little understanding of what this religion really is about.

 

[Marat]

Thanks to all of you so much for taking your time to reply to my original post. As you could probably see, I wrote the post when I felt a little down spiritually. Your straightforward advice and firm encouragement really made me think and direct my eyes back to our Lord.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Glad we could help! That's what brothers and sisters are for, right?!

 

[caitlincares]

Marat,

Welcome to this wonderful Christian forum.
I agree with the others not to be unequally yoked.
Sometimes it is best not to be looking . . . just trust (and pray) . . . maybe then God will bring her to you.

 

[Marat]

Marat,

Welcome to this wonderful Christian forum.

Thank you!

. . . just trust (and pray) . . . maybe then God will bring her to you.

Thank you for reminding.