Single Christian men, question?

[Morning Smile]

Why are there so many single Christian men that claim to want to be married, and yet remain uninvolved in a serious relationship??

 

[wildthing]

In a few words afraid to make a commitment. Methinks that both are afraid of the risk it takes to make a go of it. And so it is the lack of commitment on both sides.

 

[Sketcher]

Haven't met the right woman yet.
There's more stuff I want to do while unattached.
Not spiritually ready for a lifelong commitment yet.

 

[looksgood]

You know why I personaly am not even in a real relationship? Because to be honest there are several options available to be in one for me. But the reason I am not is fear. The plain fear of what if I make a mistake...comit to this person, and find out later I missed out on the REAL soul mate God has for me. I know it makes me seem like a bad person but that is the way it is. Just afraid of commitment in case I am comiting to the wrong girl.

 

[Living4Him03]

Along with what looksgood said, I think a lot of guys, especially Chrisitians, may think "ok she would be good to date" BUT they think maybe there's someone much better out there that is just more pretty. lol. Seriously this is what I have seen from many Christian men I've known. They somehow think they need to keep an eye out for this seemingly perfect girl. And they'll say they don't think anyone is perfect and that's not what they want...yadda yadda. But it all comes back to waiting for someone better, thinking God MUST have a barbie doll for them. Instead of focusing on improving themselves, they focus on how great they believe their mate should be.

 

[songz777]

Well dear, some of us Christian men, have as yet to meet a good Christian girl compatable with him. Its more than Looks its comittemnt to Jesus that really matters. When the right time comes, my girl will not regret waiting..Bless u John

 

[looksgood]

Along with what looksgood said, I think a lot of guys, especially Chrisitians, may think "ok she would be good to date" BUT they think maybe there's someone much better out there that is just more pretty. lol. Seriously this is what I have seen from many Christian men I've known. They somehow think they need to keep an eye out for this seemingly perfect girl. And they'll say they don't think anyone is perfect and that's not what they want...yadda yadda. But it all comes back to waiting for someone better, thinking God MUST have a barbie doll for them. Instead of focusing on improving themselves, they focus on how great they believe their mate should be.

Actualy for me it isn't barbie I am waiting on. It is just that perfect fit. I mean common ground...a common bond. What I mean is that I know I can make any relationship work. But the question is...should I? Actualy I am bout to post something on this subject I would like to hear your thoughts on. It just seems like my year for relationship tests.

 

[SAPguy]

Pretty easy answer for me.

I haven't met the right girl yet. Saying that I'm waiting for someone prettier is so far from the truth. I have dated several girls that I consider gorgeous and if they had the moral makeup that I was looking for, I wouldn't hesitate to pursue a relationship further. Unfortunately, they didn't share my same convictions, so I continue my search..... LOL

Looksgood, said it. Just waiting to find that person who is the right fit. Someone who shares common interests and goals. Somebody who will be my best friend. When I find her, I won't have a problem putting a ring on her finger.

 

[Living4Him03]

Aww that's sweet SAPguy. Just the way you put it , that sound sweet. Ladies, ya'll PM SAPguy hehehe. I'm turning into the CF matchmaker!

 

[looksgood]

Pretty easy answer for me.

I haven't met the right girl yet. Saying that I'm waiting for someone prettier is so far from the truth. I have dated several girls that I consider gorgeous and if they had the moral makeup that I was looking for, I wouldn't hesitate to pursue a relationship further. Unfortunately, they didn't share my same convictions, so I continue my search..... LOL

Looksgood, said it. Just waiting to find that person who is the right fit. Someone who shares common interests and goals. Somebody who will be my best friend. When I find her, I won't have a problem putting a ring on her finger.

Your right! I am looking for more than a romantic intrest. I know personaly I can MAKE any relationship work. But I just dont know if I should. Because it is so hard to find someone with the same goals, intrests, and who will HELP with my walk with God.

I have been through a lot of tests and temptations this year. I am kinda gun shy of relationships now. Not because I can't commit...it is just the fear of commiting to the wrong person. Sap is totaly correct.

I just posted on the subject...go take a look it is the thread called my year for relationship tests?!

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I wonder this too with men - I have a great guy who is so compatible with me (and he agrees with this statement), but his fear has stunted us having a proper, deep committed relationship - I finally worked up the nerve to say 'ok, take 4 months out, look at me again, and in 4 months we'll decide if we're together or apart forever'.

He voiced many of the same reasons as to why he doesn't want to settle down and marry - even though all his friends have this year (they're all around 30), and admits he doesn't want to be alone at the end of all of this. He's terrified that he'll pick me and then find out a year down the track or so that someone more perfect was still out there.

That REALLY hurts. I mean, am I glad he's honest? YES. But I just don't understand it. He loves me - he should be with me right??? I just tend to think it's bull... An easy way out - a cop out.

Why do guys have to be like this when it comes to committed relationships

sasch

 

[looksgood]

Well...I dont know what to say. I am sorry for that being how some of us guys are. But you have to admit...being in such a relationship is a BIG deal. It's bigger than chosing where you will live. It is right next to chosing to follow God or not in fact. The pros and cons have to be considered carefully.

All I know is that I am taking a week to fast and pray. I need to be strong in God for whatever may come. Because I see already that if I am not carefull...I will lead someone on and hurt them. It isnt intentional...it is just cause I have such a strong desire to be with someone. But I MUST submit to God and seek Him first.

I believe it would be best for me to let Him bring someone into my life. Not accept anyone whom I can "live with". That is a big problem for me. I dont want someone I can live with...but rather someone I wouldnt want to live without.

 

[mina]

Getting married is a HUGE deal and people should be really careful before committing, however at the same time if you know God has led you to someone and that it's from Him, then I don't understand the need to be so scared that you can't commit. My one experience this last year (haha) has shown me that even when guys admit that they feel it's from God they have trouble commiting. My response is "big dummy, make sure that you don't pursue unless you were sure to begin with". Because then I just ended up feeling led on, and hurt and used almost. I thought God was blessing the relationship and the guy decided to pull back. So in the end I just don't feel good enough for anyone. How can you be really sure? sometimes you do have to take a step of faith and a risk. cause I thought I was really sure that this was supposed to be and the guy even admited the same and then he got scared and pulled far far away. I guess the thought of ending up with me for his whole life was enough to scare him. I guess i'm just really confused about the whole thing.

 

[Sketcher]

Then there's getting into whether you've really heard from God or if you just think you have. And this is one of those things when you'd better be right, or someone gets hurt.

 

[MrDude]

Why are there so many single Christian men that claim to want to be married, and yet remain uninvolved in a serious relationship??

Because no girl has ever wanted a serious relationship with me.

 

[ummidrinkcherrycoke]

Actualy for me it isn't barbie I am waiting on.

It is for me. One Barbie in brunette please.

Because no girl has ever wanted a serious relationship with me.

Mr dude you're only eighteen. Give it a minute. At your age women don't know what they want anyway.

With all Jokes aside it's just hard to find good christian women (men too I'm sure but I don't swing that way so...). I think that most guys would rather be alone than take a chance on marrying some psycho chick.

 

[Morning Smile]

someone more perfect was still out there
afraid to make a commitment
fear of commiting to the wrong person
Just waiting to find that person who is the right fit.
It is just that perfect fit.
have as yet to meet a good Christian girl compatable
afraid of commitment in case I am comiting to the wrong girl.
afraid of the risk it takes to make a go of it.
But it all comes back to waiting for someone better, thinking God MUST have a barbie doll for them. Instead of focusing on improving themselves, they focus on how great they believe their mate should be

Sounds like a lot of fear, doubt and mmm something else, just can't put my finger on it.
I agree it is the biggest of the big choices in life. But if you TRULY do want a wife and maybe even children you do have to decide to trust, BE WISE, VERY WISE, then TRUST.

 

[Anduron]

Proverbs 3:5-7
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil."

For some instead of praying to God for guidance and wisdom to know if she is the one, they lose faith, have doubts and question if she is.

 

[jay_swift]

I haven't found a girl that looks ugly enough. All these Christian girls are just too stinkin' gorgeous!

 

[Fineous_Reese]

Why are there so many single Christian men that claim to want to be married, and yet remain uninvolved in a serious relationship??

pr0n kills (or at the very least, severly damages) the ability to commit. even after getting clear of it the damage is pretty far reaching.

beyond that, add in any normal hang-ups men have with what we think women want and hang-ups women have with single Christian men.