Single and frustrated...

[hischildsindik]

:bang head against wall: Sheesh.. what's up with life today, this week... I don't know why just every little thing irritates me about being single. The forlorn young singles worried about never finding a mate or what everyone likes to look at in the opposite sex.... the married women jawing about their husbands and the daily 'drudgery' of married life.... oh ...sex who can have it, can't have it, won't give it, ain't getting it... sheesh... I'm tired of being single. Anyone want to marry a single lady, affection, kind, compassionate, .... yeah I know, I"ll shut up now.

 

[caitlincares]

hischildsindik

 

[carine]

Sounds like you are feeling like all of us feel from time to time.It will pass think in these situations I find it helps to give thanks to God for other things then I think the enemy gives up the taunting for a while! Nothing the Devil and his demons like better than taunting us about being single. Guess also it helps to think about those who have suffered a loss or are having a bad time. I know this doesnt satisfy that longing for a husband/wife but it helps to shift the focus for a while. It will pass and at least we know the Lord as our saviour many dont and are suffering in wordly ways

 

[wvmtnkid]

's I know the feeling......

 

[kelco]

Me too.

 

[caitlincares]

Me too.

kelco

 

[KeilCoppes]

You know, Cindy, I can understand that. I've had a change recently, though. Yes, I would like to be married, but it's strange....

I don't seem to know what it's all about any more. At this point I'd just like to have a good friend of the feminine variety - I suppose with possibilities. The consuming physical attraction thing has gone out the window, maybe because I've struggled against it too long. At this point it's more trouble than it's worth.

Dreams of marriage? I don't think it exists any more, definitely not as I used to think of it. The idea of two good friends living together as husband and wife for the rest of their lives is a good one, but after the relationship this spring going south... It just seems to be a lot of pain to think the way I used to think, with the romantic seeking and other such. I see folks go by together, and I see the things projected by media and react against it because I'm simply not there. I don't even know any more what I hope for or expect from marriage. It seems easier to throw up my hands emotionally, hang it up on it all, and go back to work, though that's the last thing I want to do.

I really do know that we all have to step up to the plate and trust and live before God. Giving up is not an option, so I'm a bit between a rock and a hard place. I know that I'd like more in life, but that's not an option now. I've tried burying my head in the sand in work before and I know that simply doesn't work. I have to live and live in the joy of the Lord. You may lose sight of it, but always reach out for it.

This is likely the 12 hour work days stretching into weeks talking. I know better. It's simply challenging when you feel you're not likely to ever marry, because of the circumstances that God has called you to and your location. And yet - He is the one who has given me everything. May His name be blessed above all.

I do wish I knew why I felt this way, though. In this I'm at the end of myself. Who knows, that may be when God does things. I need to remember to be praying for God's blessing in this area. Maybe it simply means I'm growing up, so that I actually have an opportunity for a good reality with someone rather than unreal dreams.

 

[Fritz123]

I don't have too much time to be frustrated....I think that's the key, keeping busy. I've got kids to take care of...I'm in college...involved in my church...

 

[wvmtnkid]

I thought the key was keeping busy too. But, there are still those times when the desire to not be alone just comes marching up and whacks me in the head, and more importantly, the heart. I am at a weird place in my life. I am ok being single, it's not exactly what I want or what I dreamed my life would be, but I know that I won't die because of being single the rest of my life. But there are those moments when I am almost overwhelmed with the desire to not be alone. I wonder how many more times can I ask God or how differently can I ask Him? Am I not asking correctly?

 

[OhhJim]

.... the married women jawing about their husbands and the daily 'drudgery' of married life....

Pay attention to them. They know what they're talking about !

 

[kelco]

I thought the key was keeping busy too. But, there are still those times when the desire to not be alone just comes marching up and whacks me in the head, and more importantly, the heart. I am at a weird place in my life. I am ok being single, it's not exactly what I want or what I dreamed my life would be, but I know that I won't die because of being single the rest of my life. But there are those moments when I am almost overwhelmed with the desire to not be alone. I wonder how many more times can I ask God or how differently can I ask Him? Am I not asking correctly?

I am at the same point. I've asked every way I know how and the answer so far has been no. I guess that since that's the answer, He wants me too learn acceptance now.
Right now I'm not ok being single but since that's all I've really ever known life will just have to go on. But I really know what you mean about it sneaking up and smacking you in the heart. I sometimes wish since God has intended me to be single He would not have given me the capacity to care and the strength to handle the aloneness and the desire.

wvmtkid

 

[KeilCoppes]

I thought the key was keeping busy too. But, there are still those times when the desire to not be alone just comes marching up and whacks me in the head, and more importantly, the heart.

Thwack! I'll join you in that one, WV. I can only answer with something I learned over on the ChristianMingle boards.... SPLAAAAATTT!

That's right - pie in the face! It doesn't solve all the problems of life, but it's hard to be so down if you're throwing pies and getting hit with them, with apple filling just dripping down your chin and watching someone dodge and still get hit....

I wonder how many more times can I ask God or how differently can I ask Him? Am I not asking correctly?

All I can say, WV, is that it doesn't seem to be about asking, or maybe it is. All I keep thinking is "Adulterers and adultresses, you ask and do not have because you ask amiss. You ask and do not have because you ask after your own desires..." What do I mean? You know, I'm not exactly sure, except for this. I miss on both ends of the spectrum. I neglect to pray in true trust in God's perfect will, which I should be doing - praying sincerely and earnestly, and I neglect to truly be happy where I am as I should be. And where do I end up? Just working to trust a bit more, to smile a bit more, and to ask, seek, and knock a bit more, seeking God's glory and to bring more happiness around.

And... sometimes looking - where is that pie?! I see you, WV!

 

[SandyLou]

I thought the key was keeping busy too. But, there are still those times when the desire to not be alone just comes marching up and whacks me in the head, and more importantly, the heart. I am at a weird place in my life. I am ok being single, it's not exactly what I want or what I dreamed my life would be, but I know that I won't die because of being single the rest of my life. But there are those moments when I am almost overwhelmed with the desire to not be alone. . . . .

I'm right there with you, WV! I work 3 jobs, facilitate 3 small study groups thru church, and try to make sure there is time in there for a little bit of time at the lake (God & I fish together

) And of course time for my computer friends Fritz, RC, Zoelife!
Sooooooo I'm "okay" and busy being single. But yes, there are definitely times when I wish there was someone waiting at home

, someone to share the sometimes rocky road of life. . . . . . . . I've learned to be "content" and AM learning (altho after 13 yrs I guess I have to admit to being a slooooooooow learner *giggle*) to wait.
You're right, it's not the life I had planned but the Father has THE Plan so I'm trying to stay focused on Him and learning His ways.

--SandyLou

 

[wvmtnkid]

Wow, there is some great wisdom on these forums! Thanks all!

I guess a part of me is also afraid of becoming too content with being single. Now how silly does that sound? Yes, I know, I see a pie coming my way. I guess I think if God sees that I am ok being single then He will leave me that way. But I know that He knows my heart and I have to trust that He will provide. And sometimes I think my prayers are lacking. Am I praying with real trust that God will provide? No, I think I am too jaded to believe there is someone for me and I know that affects my prayers. Prince Charming has picked another princess one too many times for this Cinderella to believe in fairy tales and true love anymore. But, I do know that God has a plan for my life. Perhaps it is more than just finding someone and being married. I don't know.

 

[SandyLou]

All my life I had been looking for something,
and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.
I accepted their answers too,
though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.
I was naïve.
I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself
questions which I, and only I, could answer.
It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging
of my expectations to achieve a realization
everyone else appears to have been born with:
that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison

​

 

[SandyLou]

Thwack! I'll join you in that one, WV. I can only answer with something I learned over on the ChristianMingle boards.... SPLAAAAATTT!

That's right - pie in the face! It doesn't solve all the problems of life, but it's hard to be so down if you're throwing pies and getting hit with them, with apple filling just dripping down your chin and watching someone dodge and still get hit....

​

 

[KeilCoppes]

But I know that He knows my heart and I have to trust that He will provide. .... Am I praying with real trust that God will provide? .... Prince Charming has picked another princess one too many times for this Cinderella to believe in fairy tales and true love anymore. But, I do know that God has a plan for my life.

WV, you just echoed my thoughts for the past five years (except for it instead being the princess putting the frog stamp on my heart again). Welcome to the mirror of my echo chamber - there's plenty of room. I'm thinking of putting in a stock of pies, though. :^)

 

[KeilCoppes]

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Sandy - you know of course that Zoelife and company have a stack of pies with your name on them! (the hunter-seeker, zip around corners to satisfyingly 'splat' variety.)

 

[KeilCoppes]

WV, on a different level...

SPARROWS OF THE FIELD IN DENVER

Small bird splashes in the puddle
Left by winter's melting snow
While street sand forms a hasty beach
In front of city's muddy grate.
He does not know
Where tomorrow's meal is coming from
Nor does he screech a tale of woe
But simply flaps his wings
And makes the water fly
Before he goes to seek it out.

Perhaps God placed him there
While I was watching
Feeling little doubts
To tell me I can can muddle through
And grow to trust Him more
Before I too must fly.


5/20/93
(Sometimes God gives us encouragement from the simplest of sources. Ten years later it's still true.)

 

[SandyLou]

Sandy - you know of course that Zoelife and company have a stack of pies with your name on them!

I got hit with enough pies on CM!
why do u think I'm not there?!?! *giggle*
being there made me VERY sad and frustrated
(o! wait! that's the TOPIC of this thread!)
BTW. . . . Zoe loves me

--SandyLou
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