1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Singe, needs encourgment....

Discussion in 'Younger Adults 17-23' started by ctb540888, Feb 15, 2011.

  1. ctb540888

    ctb540888 Newbie

    4
    +0
    Protestant
    Single
    ok i am just to a point idk what to think any more im 20 yrs old and havent ever been on a date let alone a girlfriend im about to turn 21 and am just to the point i wounder almost what is wrong with me, what am i not following of gods word that has left me in this situation............i was a pastors son so ive been a christain from a young age, ad always followed the rules and focused on school work, whitch basicly led me to miss the whole dating scence all the way tru high school, and i wounder if its over and i should plan on being single for life?
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +8,769
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    It's far from over.
     
  3. ctb540888

    ctb540888 Newbie

    4
    +0
    Protestant
    Single
    yep...
     
  4. Ribs

    Ribs Regular Member

    314
    +28
    Pentecostal
    Private
    Ask God what you should do. I'm also 20 and I haven't had too much of the dating scene either, but I also know that sometime in the future God's got something planned for me. I think I will get married someday, but I'm also completely content with being single.

    Just always make sure your on the right track with God. He's got great plans for you, plans to prosper and not for harm (I'm pretty sure thats somewhere in the Bible, idk where though). I really dont know why your single now, maybe God's preparing you, or He could be preparing your future wife. Just work on being content with being single now, then when she does come along it'll just be that much more sweeter to have her :)
     
  5. ScarlettRose

    ScarlettRose Newbie

    47
    +2
    Christian
    Private
    Hey, I'm 21, still single & there's no guys I know who are "bf material". When I was turning 21 I felt the same way like you are now. But everytime I had a major doubt session, God pretty much confirmed to me that He does have marriage in store for my life in the future & that He has some awesome guy out there waiting for me. As Ribs said, make sure that you are on the right track with God & yes, He has great plans for you. Just be yourself around people & eventually your girl will come. While you're single, help out more in the ministries at your church, chase after God & grow deeper in Him. And if you delight yourself in God, the desires of your heart will eventually come! Hope that helps! :)
     
  6. spandexwarrior231

    spandexwarrior231 Sierra Whiskey

    27
    +0
    Charismatic
    Single
    You didnt miss anything in high school btw; just look forward, dont look back. Youve got plenty of time to find the right girl and settle down. It's most likely not anything wrong you've done...just be patient because God's timing is perfect. If you let God guide your steps, and listen to his voice and direction you'll be where your supposed to be with the right girl. Too many times I see emotions play into forcing relationships which turns people away from God's will, and on to some wild chase after a girl that is not right with God. Dont make that same mistake! I did, and I got hurt! There is nothing wrong with being single at 21, and no matter what you think you are a champion in God's eyes.

    Focus on getting involved in a ministry if you havent already, and remember Christ loves you and will fullfill all your needs.

    Personally, I have realized that being single at 20 has given me time to focus on God first. I see peers my age in their early 20's that are already having kids and getting married, but that's not what life is all about for a Christian. Pursue God, seek out his will for your life and seek out work in his Kingdom through ministry, and everything from there on will fall into place.
     
  7. Nazzul

    Nazzul The seeker of knowledge

    93
    +6
    Atheist
    Single
    US-Others
    I was in a very similar boat to you a few years ago. had no real GF or experience with relationships. Then one fateful night I fell in love. The following 3 months I lost 30 pounds and then had my had my heart broken. You know when someone says it is better to have loved then lost then to ever love at all is full of crap.

    I then actually got into a relationship with a girl, but I learned that relationships are not as great as you might think. It started well at first but then descended into arguments and frustration. Honestly you should not fret that you don't have a girl to call your own right now. A girlfriend does not suddenly make the world a better place. In fact it can complicate things and make things difficult. It requires work and dedication.

    You really want to be in a relationship? Then stop being depressed about it and be more confident. Go hit the gym a little and get fit if you need to. I know that it seems that you'll be single forever but you still have a long time on this earth, don't be sad you have plenty of time to find that perfect someone.

    ps. If i haven't made my main point clear, you are not missing out on anything as great as you think.
     
  8. explodingboy

    explodingboy Guest

    +0
    Honestly don't see the point in dating.

    but then I'm old fashioned and believe that relationships are built on comitment rather than fuzzy feelings, and fairytale notions of "The One". I have no problem admitting to have missed the care free days of youth where I'm supposed to find joy by dating as many young ladies as possible, and how it's totally unacceptable to commit to anything until I'm 30 and no longer allowed to have care free fun.

    I've had one previous relationship that lasted.. almost 3yrs, until she decided the novelty of a committed relationship wasn't for her, and currently less than a month from my 1yr mark with my new lad, who has finished with the dating game and been looking to settle down.
     
  9. NaturallyGone

    NaturallyGone ילד של האל הופרדו את אחד אהבת אמת

    342
    +4
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Others
    ok, i'm 19, almost 20, and am just now getting into a relationship with a girl. for the longest time, i thought along the same lines as you. I couldn't figure out why I hadn't had a girlfriend yet. But, bro, in all honesty, think about it: The fewer girlfriends you have before you find the one who will someday be your wife, the more of your heart you can give to your wife. Cause each time you are in a relationship with someone, you give a piece of your heart to them forever. Just know that somewhere in the world, there is someone who God created to be a perfect match, emotionally, spiritually, and relationship-wise, for you, and who will mean the world to you, and who you will mean the world to, and both of you will grow closer to God and each other with each passing day of being together.
     
  10. RedLioness

    RedLioness Guest

    +0
    :preach:
    I am afraid i am just no good with offline people or advice giving. 9.9 You know I am 23 female offline and have had my share of troubles: pressure from parents here at the house and my getting mad to the point of wanting to hurt honey, my older sister's cat (perhaps animal abuse is never right). 9.9 And blowing up at them when wanting to watch youtube. >> I guess we humans (especially adults) just want to have fun and not be bothered, right? I was up in my bedroom the other night, and it occurred to me that we had a phone book and if i thought I needed therapy if any kind I should look into it. It has everything from doctors to medical to movies for when I want to watch something when I am bored etc etc. That and experiencing pressures from my other two sisters, which by the way, sometimes unfortunately to me, exist. And now mom says she is developing bumps on her feet, ah...the fun just does not stop does it? no, this si nto fun. Now i have to get a doctor to care for her feet!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 17, 2011
  11. walkingxshadow

    walkingxshadow a poor player

    +348
    Christian
    Single
    i completely understand what youre getting at. im 21 and ive never been on a date. pastors grandson from both sides. so i completely understand your dilemma.
    in highschool i didnt care but now that im starting to care i look around and realize im pretty much alone. you wonder if youre alone because there is something wrong with you. and even when there is someone you like you dont know how to go about acting on it. and if shes a close friend youre worried about maybe losing her as a result. i get it. i really do. i have no idea what to do about it but you are not alone.
     
  12. WindBreath

    WindBreath Regular Member

    188
    +10
    Pentecostal
    Single
    US-Democrat
    I feel the same way sometimes. I have what I call a pseudo-boyfriend, but I know I deserve better and I'm just not actively looking right now. I'll be 21 soon too, in September, so I know how you feel.
     
  13. Rhayven

    Rhayven Newbie

    107
    +7
    Christian
    Just be yourself, and pray for God's purpose. God will add unto you. His time is perfect, our time is our own misconceptions. So many times we think that God is on our clock frame. Totally wrong, we need/should be on His. So don't worry, being a PK doesn't mean anything! Celebrate that you have been kept away from the harsh reality of this world. It's a blessing!!! Anyways, keep your head up.. There are ton's of girls out there. ^^u

    ~kkthxbai
     
  14. avi8tor

    avi8tor Newbie

    120
    +6
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Actually being a PK has a lot to do with it. I would know since I am one but it's different for me now since I've moved around over the past couple of years. I remember being in high school and the early part of college when I was still living at "home" and girls would always act funny around me because of it. But once I moved on and was living in a place where nobody knew me as a PK things changed, even with the ladies. I honestly don't know what it is but you'll be fine once you get a little older and start your own life.
     
  15. ctb540888

    ctb540888 Newbie

    4
    +0
    Protestant
    Single

    ya tho i have never understood it all thru school and work i am always the go to guy to help with relasionships yet never been in one never have understood that?
     
  16. KTskater

    KTskater Well-Known Member

    +163
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    The fact of the matter is that, as a Christian, your main desire, goal and purpose should be to serve and glorify God. Paul says that it is better to remain single than to get married, because then you can focus wholly on God. So, singleness is a gift, and while I know it can be frustrating, but seeking God's purpose for your life will lead you to where you need to be. I've found that most people date out of lonliness, which is an awful reason to start a relationship with someone.
     
  17. ctb540888

    ctb540888 Newbie

    4
    +0
    Protestant
    Single
    thats kinda scary how much we are alike in all prospectives lol im at the same point you are lol
     
  18. hannahnicole

    hannahnicole Newbie

    11
    +1
    SDA
    Single
    Don't be discouraged. I am 21 and have been in a similar place to you - wondering if I should just give up because it didn't look as though God was bringing the right guy into my life any time soon. I think we just need to trust Him that in His time we will meet the right people. I know it's sometimes hard to trust God on this one, but I think it will be worth it in the end. Remember - you're only young and there are many more years ahead of you yet! And I think you'll be glad when you meet the right girl that you didn't waste time with other people - you'll be able to give your whole heart with no reservations to this girl.

    Stay strong. :)
     
  19. E.C.

    E.C. Well-Known Member

    +1,029
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    The best advice that I was ever told and actually followed was to not date during the first two years of college.

    Nothing is wrong with you from the post. The dating life is not over for you yet unless you want it to be. If my father can remarry when he was fifty-three than I'm sure you will find somebody before you hit that age so long as you don't freak out or beat yourself up about it.
     
Loading...