sin verses forgiveness????

[cinni]

I was wondering i have a situation before i became a christian i did something really bad and if my husband found out the truth it would destroy our marriage but i need forgiveness because i am continueing to punish myself every day even though its been 2 years and i can't keep doing that i need god to forgive me but do i have to confess to my husband? if i confess to god surely he will forgive me

 

[Hisgirl]

Cinni,

When you became a christain, all your sins were forgiven you. The Bible says you're washed white as snow and the Lord put your sins as far as east is from west. Any condemnation you feel...is NOT coming from the Lord. The enemy is the master accuser...he wants you to feel doubt, fear, guilt and condemnation. I would recommend you going to a pastor you trust...maybe even one recommended by a friend and have a good long talk. Have them pray over you and seek their counsel. You will have to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit on this one, but I will tell you one thing....many men do have trouble dealing with betrayal. My step-daughter confessed something to her husband and he did not handle it well. She did not talk with anyone about it first...he basically walked out on her while she was pregnant...and though he returned, he isn't mature enough to know how to forgive her. Some men can handle it and some just can't....sweetie, I understand your wanting to be opened up and honest, and it sounds like you're well aware your being honest could mean the end to your marriage. Please seek counsel on this one....though your sin is forgiven, you may have a consequence to deal with and that may mean keeping it between you and the Lord. Do you truly think your husband would be better off knowing? Sometimes unburdening ourself just means transferring the burden to someone else. Let Jesus take the burden ....talk with someone....you may end up sharing with your husband..and he may surprise you...but this is a serious enough choice that you ought to spend some time in joined prayer with a wise advisor.

 

[Blade]

Hay Hisgirl HAPPY BDAY

And Cinni Hisgirl is right because Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. If you confessed it, repented then as far as God cares it never ever happened. As far as telling your spouse that is up to you but if God forgot it then maybe you should to. Maybe Gods doing something great for you both and satan just wants to stop it. Let it go..

 

[cinni]

I have had 5 replys today to this topic and everyone of you were positive except one person felt that although forgiveness has happened their is still the issue of a lie to deal with but liek i said my marriage will fail i know this beyond a shadow of a doubt if i confess to my husband i just want to move on and be forgiven and be 100% faithful in the future i love him and i can't take the childrens father away from them but i can't be guilty for the rest of my life.

 

[mustang_94]

cinni, You have the power and authority as a christian to break soul ties that exist. Maybe like so; by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ and the power of His cross, I declare any soul ties estabished between myself and ________ as the result of sin to be broken and cut off and I further declare that all condemnation has been reaped at the cross. ( and I am quick to call the devil a lair when he brings up my past) Be Blessed

 

[Andrew]

cinni,

What you did was terrible and such a sin must be punished. There is no excuse. But guess what? It already has been punished to the full extent of the law! But on the body of your Saviour Jesus!

God did not ignore your sin, nor did He sweep it under the carpet. No God is holy so your sin has to be punished. But God is love too. So God satisfied both requirements -- justice and mercy -- through the death of His son.

There's a beautiful saying: "Justice and mercy kissed at the cross."

So the first thing you ought to settle in your heart and between you and God is to honour the work of His Son. ie know and believe that your sin has already been punished, already been forgiven. If you study an OT law of payback, you'll find that God does not require 100% payback but 1/5 or 20% on top of 100%. So Jesus on the cross was an overpayment to God.

For eg, say you owe Jim $100,000 but I came along and paid Jim $120,000 to clear your debt. That's an overpayment! So, should Jim still torment you for the debt? Should you still feel embarrassed when you see Jim? Should you act like you still owed Jim? If you do, you are insulting Jim, you are insulting the work of Christ...

 

[Andrew]

Right now your problem is this need to tell your husband, yet you know it will break the marriage.

It is not a question of right or wrong here (right if I tell, wrong if i dont) but one of God's leading and timing. Be led forth by His peace. If you pray about this and do not sense the peace in your spirit to tell your husband, but instead sense fear and a 'dont-do-it' in your spirit, then don't do it. Wait for God's timing. God may have you tell him some other time or He may never require you to tell him.

 

[IKTCA]

.

 

[Asaph]

I so agree with this. Right now it is just between you and God, and you desperately need to start there. But there may come a time when the Lord says to dump it all. I do not see that as right now. You have not settled it with the Lord. If you do it now it would just be out of your own selfish desires to be rid of the conviction. No, don't do that.
Seek His face, and He will lift you up. You will havethis to deal with, but son't fear.
Your spouse my have a stunning thing to confess to you too. How are you prepared to love through that?

Asaph

 

[IloveJesusMyFather3:16]

Why make him hurt? God has already forgiven you. God doesn't like it when you ask Him to forgive you all the time when He has already forgiven you. He wants you to be happy and forget the past. You can't live in the past. Why are you torturing yourself? Tell the devil to shut up - In Jesus name. Amen.

Thank you Jesus!!

 

[Lael_Rapier]

Why make him hurt? God has already forgiven you. God doesn't like it when you ask Him to forgive you all the time when He has already forgiven you. He wants you to be happy and forget the past. You can't live in the past. Why are you torturing yourself? Tell the devil to shut up - In Jesus name. Amen.

Thank you Jesus!!

 

[Andry]

Here's a rhetorical thought, at least for the married folks here:

Were we required to confess all past sins to our future spouses when we first met them or before we got married to them? And had we confessed these sins, would they not have married us? And if they chose not to marry us, wouldn't that speak volumes about their love for us? So what's the difference now?

I'm reminded of 1 Cor 13. Just a thought.

 

[Adammi]

Talk to God about it! Some would say that this feelilng is not coming from God. But it all depends. Is this filling bringing condemnation on you, or is it bringing you to be a better Christian?
[bible]James 5:16[/bible]

 

[riverpastor]

We could call this "discrimination".

Like the old lady with the lue hair who asks, "How does my hair look?"

What you want to say is: "Looks like scrap, old bag!!!"
What you will probably say is: "Oh, dear, your hair looks fabulous."

Is it a lie or deception you have told or is it a use of "discrimination"?

True, you must forgive yourself, as well.

Let go of the past forgiven.

Move forward in the life you have now.

 

[Asaph]

We could call this "discrimination".

Like the old lady with the lue hair who asks, "How does my hair look?"

What you want to say is: "Looks like scrap, old bag!!!"
What you will probably say is: "Oh, dear, your hair looks fabulous."

Is it a lie or deception you have told or is it a use of "discrimination"?

True, you must forgive yourself, as well.

Let go of the past forgiven.

Move forward in the life you have now.

I absolutely agree with this. If there is a need for this to be dealt with, God will show you, but if it is of God, there would not be any (read that again) there would not be any condemnation associated with it. Conviction? Maybe. But you must be so in the Lord in prayer and walk that you can discerne the difference. If it is of God, it will be "right as rain", even if "right as rain" is not a pleasent thing.

Asaph

 

[Johnny Be Good]

I have your answer! The basis for your need to confess this to your husband is pure selfishness. God tells us to confess our sins to HIM. HIM. I have a short story for you...

Both my wife and I had been married twice before God brought us together. One of my wife's, and both of my other marriages ended after our former spouses had cheated on us. All four of our former marriages were ended by US (my wife and I) as a result of situations for which God allows divorce. My wife and I were 'victims' in each of our former marriages. But further thinking (revelation?!) on this (our marriages which involved cheating) has resulted in this for me: WE are not the victims--even though we were cheated on. The REAL victims were those whose lives we destroyed--our spouses' and childrens' lives--because WE chose NOT to forgive. WE chose to sever the cheating relationships.

I say that to say this: If you become a stumbling block like this to your husband, you will have destroyed several lives. And all for selfish reasons. You ARE forgiven--that's truth. Unfortunately we, here in the temporal relhm on planet earth, have to live with the knowledge of our sin even though God has forgiven us. *We do HAVE to live with it whether you confess it to your husband or not, really, though. In this case, you could choose selfishness and wind up destroying others' lives. The result of your confession to your husband could be far worse for YOU than the place you now find yourself!

The good news: YOU ARE FORGIVEN!!! Get your eyes on Jesus and KEEP THEM THERE! Care for your family as a result of your thankful heart, which is a result of you being forgiven. YIELD to the Holy Spirit who Loves you and gave His life for you through Jesus. YIELD to the Love of God and act according to this love, not according to guilt and sorrow and selfishness. Yield to God's love and keep yourself in this state of yielding through the proper use of the thankful heart God has given you. You are truly blessed. We all are. We ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD! You're not alone.

 

[cinni]

oh wow i am touched so many times the last few days thier are some absolutly amazing pppl in this forum from the bottom of my heart thank you all for your sound advice.

I am ready to let this thing go to god

 

[Adammi]

I am absolutely astonished by the resposes here. Noone has even turned to the Word of God, our infallible source of truth! This woman is in need of healing for her soul!
[bible]James 5:16[/bible]

 

[Andrew]

I am absolutely astonished by the resposes here. Noone has even turned to the Word of God, our infallible source of truth! This woman is in need of healing for her soul!
[bible]James 5:16[/bible]

1. The context here is physical healing.

2. What do you think she's been doing? She told quite a number of us here about her 'fault'. And she's repented. And we pray that God will flood her heart with peace, show her that she's been forgiven already and help her to move on, and guide her in his path as to whether she needs to tell her husband or not.

 

[Asaph]

1. The context here is physical healing.

2. What do you think she's been doing? She told quite a number of us here about her 'fault'. And she's repented. And we pray that God will flood her heart with peace, show her that she's been forgiven already and help her to move on, and guide her in his path as to whether she needs to tell her husband or not.

Amen Andrew.