My boyfriend and I, both in our early twenties, have been dating about a year and a half. We have had a very healthy relationship and have talked about getting engaged within the next year, hopefully. There's just one problem... his mother. His hometown is about 4 hours away from my hometown, where we both go to college. She has two other children, one older and one younger, as well as a grandchild, whom she sees very regularly. Yet she insists on trying to control my boyfriend's life. She doesn't like me, and I'm not sure why, but she's constantly making snide comments or outright ignoring me whenever they come to town to see him, and she still treats him like he's in high school. He doesn't want to stand up to her because he doesn't want to upset her, and I know that one of the reasons she is so upset is because she doesn't like the fact that he and I are in a serious relationship. I've tried to tell him that it's normal for him to start to detach more from his parents and start to form an attachment to me instead, but he seems to think that it's possible to keep such a strong bond with his mom AND be a good husband to me. Can anyone give me some Bible verses that back me up, that it's a GOOD thing for him to leave the role of son in his family to make a new family with me? I'm tired of feeling like I'm always going to come second in his life, because everytime he does something she even remotely doesn't like, like changing his major, she'll give him an hour and a half guilt trip on the phone about how she did a bad job raising him. I feel like if I had some Bible verses to back me up, maybe she'd realize that I'm trying to create the beginnings of a Biblical relationship with him, and I think that includes him and me only, and not her. Any help would be appreciated!
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Luther073082
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Umm I could give you some verses but I'm not going to.
I'm not going to because none of it will convince her and she will come back with her own. Namely she will come back with the 4th commandment (5th for non-Lutheran/protestants) "Honor your father and your mother".
This is going to be a situation where you are going to have to get your boyfriend to stand up to his mother. Thats the only way that this is going to happen.
You shouldn't take the problems to her at all. That will just make things worse. The only thing that will take care of this is if your boyfriend stands up to her.
I also want to note that may be hard to do if he relys on her for tution or anything.
I'm not going to because none of it will convince her and she will come back with her own. Namely she will come back with the 4th commandment (5th for non-Lutheran/protestants) "Honor your father and your mother".
This is going to be a situation where you are going to have to get your boyfriend to stand up to his mother. Thats the only way that this is going to happen.
You shouldn't take the problems to her at all. That will just make things worse. The only thing that will take care of this is if your boyfriend stands up to her.
I also want to note that may be hard to do if he relys on her for tution or anything.
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through_him
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You are pretty much right. He will have to create some distance between himself and her and do it carefully so she doesn't see you as the wedge between her and her son. Its never an easy situation, but gets better with time. There willl be times when you are accused of driving a wedge between them and you will need to swallow your pride. Its never fun or easy.
If he doesn't see that he will need to create some distance, I don't know what to tell you other than be prepared for a hard road.
*edit* some good Christian pre-marriage counseling through your church couldn't hurt
If he doesn't see that he will need to create some distance, I don't know what to tell you other than be prepared for a hard road.
*edit* some good Christian pre-marriage counseling through your church couldn't hurt
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