Shyness vs. Introversion

[Apollonian]

I dislike it when I am in social situations where introverts and extroverts are mixed. In such cases, it often happens that when I have exchanges with the introverts that the extroverts interrupt and divert attention. What begins as an interestingly deep conversation suddenly becomes a quickly disarming joke or playful free-association.

I still have not figured out how to politely say "You're interrupting - go chat up someone else" so I end up just waiting for them to lose interest and go away. By then, I've usually lost my hard-sought audience.

For now, I am lamenting my inability to "hang out" regularly because of this frustration. Somehow, it seems to drain even more energy from me when I maneuver myself into an opportunity for introvert-introvert interaction that subsequently gets dashed before coming to fruition.

I should note, however, that not all extroverts are like this. There are some that I know who would get involved in the discussion. Even if they are interrupting or generally taking things over - if they are participating in the discussion that I set forward then I appreciate their conversation regardless of the interruption.

 

[chris320]

I am introverted, and used to be extremely shy with women. Since my first marriage I am no longer shy around women, but I am still introverted. I consider parties a waste of time and would much rather spend time with just one other person than with a group. Even with my close friends, I usually get tired of being around them after a couple of hours. I work a hotel desk job, and prefer the night shift because of the minimal interaction with people.

I'm an extrovert.

To be honest, I find introverts fascinating (probably why I married one) how they can be so deep. I wouldn't say I am shallow, but I prefer to have some fun, rather than sit around discussing deep stuff all day.

I also find that they usually think before they speak (a quality I admire) however I do get annoyed when some of my friends who are introverted don't come up with ideas to do something. It always seems to be up to me, either because they don't think of any plans, or don't want to voice it. That always aggravates me.

You sound like my exwife. She was an extrovert (ESPF) and I an INTJ. To me deep stuff is much more interesting, especially politics and religion. I get thrilled when I meet someone who is not superficial and actually willing to talk below the surface. My exwife and I had significant personality conflicts because I always wanted to chat about deep stuff for relaxation, and she just wanted to party. Interestingly, the person she cheated on me with was also an extrovert.

-Chris320