shy men, weak men

[HopeFaithLove4u]

You can thank the past 5 decades of feminists and the womens empowerment movement for spineless men. With their "I am woman! Hear me roar! BS!" (See! Already if you're a woman, you're offended! "Well I never!" you're probably thinking! See what they've done to ya!? HA!) pathetic...

Gender roles are kind of bogus? Dude!? Seriously? Do you really think that? Gahhh! Yet another victim to the feminist movement crowd. Go read 1st Peter chapter 3. And then come back and tell me Gender roles are bogus. God designed things the way they are in this world for many many reasons, and God delights in them. Don't spew silly words just cause it's the "in" thing to do.

You sound like a bitter man, who needs his wife to be 'bare foot and pregnant' and not to speak.

Good luck with that!

 

[SonicBOOM]

So you're saying Gender Roles are NOT Bogus? I see.

yes and no, men and women are clearly diffrent in their souls and spirits. We express ourselves diffrently and this does seem universal.... but what culture does is it tells a man that he's only strong when he's physically lifting something and it tells women that their only beautiful if they buy the latest outfits. Strength and beauty are a mystery to great for the mind to conceive. They take so many forms.

 

[PureSolace]

You sound like a bitter man, who needs his wife to be 'bare foot and pregnant' and not to speak.

Good luck with that!

Not at all. In fact. I love the intellectual women who speak their minds and have opinions and dreams. (But that's a hard thing to find sometimes, cause most women are more concerned with frivolous stuff like who's gonna win American Idol, than things that really matter. For myself personally, I hope to find a woman who's smarter than me and has her act together. Maybe it'll happen someday, we'll see.)

I love how people pigeon hole me as a bitter man who likes the barefoot and pregnant type when thats not the case at all. I'm just honest, and I'm not gonna sugar coat things on this issue, that's all.

 

[PureSolace]

yes and no, men and women are clearly diffrent in their souls and spirits. We express ourselves diffrently and this does seem universal.... but what culture does is it tells a man that he's only strong when he's physically lifting something and it tells women that their only beautiful if they buy the latest outfits. Strength and beauty are a mystery to great for the mind to conceive. They take so many forms.

"men and women are clearly diffrent"

That's all I wanted to hear.

 

[futuredoc]

Thanks Chris. I don't mean to make it sound that way, but I've had some bad experiences with shy guys who were really shy because they weren't willing to make decisions or take care of themselves or back me up when I needed them. (For the record though, I do to a certain extent believe in gender roles) So I really need some advice on how to know if he's like that, if people have had positive relationships with shy guys, insight from shy guys etc.. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings!

I've had this experience as well, usually I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but so far we've always been incompatable. So I'm still looking.

 

[Blank123]

all i will say on the subject is that shyness=/=weakness.

 

[Niels]

You sound like one of those women who, time and again, winds up in a dysfunctional relationship. If nine out of ten men in a room were strong silent types, and one was a spineless silent type, you would pair up with the one spineless silent type. Maybe you should examine why you apparently want to be the one who "wears the pants", and why you apparently want to "be the man" in a relationship. I think that will be more productive than blaming introversion.

 

[latteda]

my advice? don't be thinking how he's going to be in a marriage/long term relationship, when you've just started dating.

shyness is just shyness, or maybe he is weak, but find out if he is through being in a relationship with him, not prejudging him, or worry about that stuff when you've only been on a few dates. what good are you going to do for yourself, him, or you two if your worried about this stuff, when you've just been on a few dates?

be careful about letting your head get the best of you by worrying about how will he be as a mate, when you just learned u wouldn't mind to date him as boyfriend.

Very good advice. I'm pretty sure I ruined a potentially great relationship with a guy I started dating for that exact same reason. I overanalyzed it, prejudged him, and expected him to treat me the way other guys had treated me in the past. I am pretty quiet and introverted most of the time, but in that situation with the "shy guy," I tore things down before it even became a relationship just because I was scared and made assumptions.

You sound like one of those women who, time and again, winds up in a dysfunctional relationship. If nine out of ten men in a room were strong silent types, and one was a spineless silent type, you would pair up with the one spineless silent type. Maybe you should examine why you apparently want to be the one who "wears the pants", and why you apparently want to "be the man" in a relationship. I think that will be more productive than blaming introversion.

Definitely been there. Good thoughts.

 

[puddleoffaith]

Shyness does not equal weakness (although in some cases it can). I am dating a shy boy...and he is not weak in any way. Just look to see if he takes initiative. Look at his character. Look at the way he treats other people (you may find that he is more shy around you because he's nervous...and fine around others). It's not something you should write off as a weakness...in some ways it can be a strength.
PS. he may be shy but I am a social butterfly...and this works out fine.

 

[NorrinRadd]

Gender roles are kind of bogus? Dude!? Seriously? Do you really think that?

Yeah, I do. Gender differences are real, but gender roles are bogus.

Gahhh! Yet another victim to the feminist movement crowd.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm a "victim" of reading Scripture. The fact that in this case it does happen to support a so-called "liberal" social view is one of the few things that makes me want to cling to the "leadership is male" view I formerly held.

Go read 1st Peter chapter 3. And then come back and tell me Gender roles are bogus.

I've read it, and the other "house code" sections -- including the one in Eph. that shows wifely submission as only an aspect of *mutual* submission. I've also read the passages that show Pastor Nympha, the apostle Junia, Phoebe the deaconess and patroness, etc.