Shy Guys Help Requested

[JPPT1974]

Both of them will have to take risks, even small ones in order to get from where they are to somewhere together. Just being friendly is the first step. And then they'll have to take some chances and share who they are and what they are looking for.

Im not a risk taker that much but also to get the friendship going is to take even the tinest risks to get to somewhere.

 

[fieldy]

i dont know if someone said this already but you don't need to worry about coming to a guy. i'm a shy guy and i like it when the girl comes on to me. it makes things so much easier and it makes me feel like i wasnt just imagining that the girl likes me. it's not the 1930's anymore. there's no need to need to worry about little stuff like that.

 

[Iggster]

If you don't do it, you'll have the," what if," questions lingering around for the rest of your life. Suffice to say that there is nothing wrong when you approach someone and have a friendship mind set, instead of looking at him as your potential future mate.

Alot of the brothers and sisters here have given you great advise. I'd take that as a sign that the Lord is speaking through them to you. Go for it! You got my vote of confidence......

 

[JPPT1974]

i dont know if someone said this already but you don't need to worry about coming to a guy. i'm a shy guy and i like it when the girl comes on to me. it makes things so much easier and it makes me feel like i wasnt just imagining that the girl likes me. it's not the 1930's anymore. there's no need to need to worry about little stuff like that.

Im a shy girl but sometimes I just have to "get out of my cocoon" and to make the first move. If the man doesn't do it, I have no choice but to do it myself.

 

[chippy2000]

I"m a shy guy. The biggest obstacle for me in making the first move is knowing what to say to break the ice and what not to say so as not to scare anyone away. I think once the knowledge of what/what-not and how to say things to start conversation is gained then shy people are usually quite the opposite. I also agree with the group situation where it doesn't benefit. I really don't like group shouting matches as I am not a very vocal person. I am also not classed as the life of the party. What I found thought o assist in fitting in with a group is to have "outside time" with a few members of the group and get to know them fairly well so as to have something to talk about. Usually, over time, that will get a foot in the door to fit in with conversation in a larger group.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

I strongly suggest that you be patient and let him make the first move. I recommend that you read the following two books, both by Elisabeth Eliot, Passion and Purity and Quest for Love.Good luck

 

[Sketcher]

I would have to disagree with this. As an introvert, the best (and typically the one and only) way I truly get to know people is one-on-one. Putting me in groups (and I am not talking about structured groups such as class, Bible study, etc... I talk plenty in those. I am referring to groups arranged solely for the purpose of socializing) is usually just doing me a disservice and making me feel even more like I don't belong.

So I would say one-on-one time is best, but also be careful about saying/doing anything that would indicate interest too much or too soon.

Thing is with me, talking with the girl in question exclusively online set me up for a hard fall. Her immaturity and mine sealed the deal, but when we'd seen each other face to face for the first time in 3 months, that produced a lot of the other stuff I said to avoid.

I understand what you said about groups, I know what it's like to be excluded in conversations. I've gotten more talkative over the years, so I don't think of it as bad as you do. Also, if it's intensive one-on-one, then it's more likely to generate chemistry, at least in the guy. If the girl and the guy are seeing each other exclusively for a while, then he finds out *gasp* that she has other guy friends, that wil be hard for him to get used to. And with the female body language and all, it is best for the guy to observe her in an unorganized group of friends regularly to see how she treats people in general so he is less likely to get false impressions. I said don't even hug and I mean it, but even if she does hug and he sees her hug everybody, then he is a little less likely to take it as a special gesture. You don't have that sort of insurance when two people are alone.

 

[JPPT1974]

I strongly suggest that you be patient and let him make the first move. I recommend that you read the following two books, both by Elisabeth Eliot, Passion and Purity and Quest for Love.Good luck

Sounds excellent indeed!