I have an 8 year old daughter who is involved in a program at church. They'll be going onstage this Sunday to sing a couple of songs and my daughter says she does not want to go onstage. She's terribly nervous about it. Should I make her? Or let her sit in the audience and watch? I had a major case of stage fright growing up and well I still do...I don't want her to be the same way. But then again if I can actually feel how frightened she will be up there...and I don't want her to go through that! What should I do?
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Should we make them?
- Thread starter Violet
- Start date
One mother's opinion...
Make a deal with her... ask her to go through the whole practice procedure so that she will have the experience of standing with the group and singing on stage in practice. If on the day of the event she does not wish to participate, let her make the call.
I have some pretty negetive feelings about making children take a public role in worship. I would not want them to have any fear or negative connections with being in church.
If she needs to become more comfortable in this area, school activities are a fine place to work on these matters.
In the back of my mind is a father who mentioned to me that he had pulled his high school age son out of the Christian school. He explaind to me "It was clear that he hated school and was going to continue to hate school. I just as soon he not hate a Christian school or start to hate Christian ideas." I think he was a very wise father.
Make a deal with her... ask her to go through the whole practice procedure so that she will have the experience of standing with the group and singing on stage in practice. If on the day of the event she does not wish to participate, let her make the call.
I have some pretty negetive feelings about making children take a public role in worship. I would not want them to have any fear or negative connections with being in church.
If she needs to become more comfortable in this area, school activities are a fine place to work on these matters.
In the back of my mind is a father who mentioned to me that he had pulled his high school age son out of the Christian school. He explaind to me "It was clear that he hated school and was going to continue to hate school. I just as soon he not hate a Christian school or start to hate Christian ideas." I think he was a very wise father.
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stonetoflesh
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Does she have to go onstage by herself? I had some stage fright as a kid but found it was assuaged partly by being in a larger group (choir, school class, etc.). You may also want to look for books on managing stage fright at your local library, try in the children's section-- you might find some creative ways to help her overcome this in the future. (Not a quick fix, I know... but it's all I could think of.) Or give her some suggestions (a la "pretend everyone in the audience is bald" or something silly like that) to help make her less self-conscious. Hope this helps a little... 
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Thanks both of you for your advice
blitz ~ Thanks I haven't thought of it in that light. I certainly don't want her to have negative feelings about going to church. I believe they are having practice Sunday before service starts so I'll see how she handles that first and then make a decision. Thanks for putting it into perspective
spacedout ~ Thank you so much for your suggestions! She's would be performing with her group...I believe there are 15 of them. I like your idea about pretending the audience is bald lol I think I'll use it! Hopefully she won't break out laughing in the middle of perfomance
blitz ~ Thanks I haven't thought of it in that light. I certainly don't want her to have negative feelings about going to church. I believe they are having practice Sunday before service starts so I'll see how she handles that first and then make a decision. Thanks for putting it into perspective
spacedout ~ Thank you so much for your suggestions! She's would be performing with her group...I believe there are 15 of them. I like your idea about pretending the audience is bald lol I think I'll use it! Hopefully she won't break out laughing in the middle of perfomance
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I share her stage fright. There certain things that terrify me about being on stage. For instance, standing. I really get scared just standing there, I get dizzy, hot, panicky. I had to drop out of choir because of it and once even had to walk off stage.
However, I have no problem if I can be sitting down in a chair. So I joined the orchestra instead.
Having something to hold onto really helps. Is there a way she could stand in the back row, or be next to a wall or a rail to hold onto?
BTW, if she does decide to do it I think she should be rewarded big time!
However, I have no problem if I can be sitting down in a chair. So I joined the orchestra instead
. Having something to hold onto really helps. Is there a way she could stand in the back row, or be next to a wall or a rail to hold onto?
BTW, if she does decide to do it I think she should be rewarded big time!
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Thanks Lucy and Beanmak
I'm going to talk to her teacher about maybe pairing her up w/someone. I think that would help her out a lot. I was thinking that maybe she isn't the only one there that's nervous...if there is another child that's frightened then maybe they can lean on each other.
I think rewarding her is a great idea Lucy! Thank you ladies so much for your advice...you've given me some great ideas!!
I'm going to talk to her teacher about maybe pairing her up w/someone. I think that would help her out a lot. I was thinking that maybe she isn't the only one there that's nervous...if there is another child that's frightened then maybe they can lean on each other.
I think rewarding her is a great idea Lucy! Thank you ladies so much for your advice...you've given me some great ideas!!
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