Should We Forgive When They Have Not Ask

[forgivenmuch]

this is a very touchy situation.. i am not here for debate.. i am here for answers of what other believe..

i know in the bible that its wrote.. we should forgive our Brother .. but what about our non christians .. i need to know how people feel.. and please be honest.

say if you had a realtive to beat you and sexually abuse you.. and they never would turn to God and repent and they never would come to you and say they are sorry..
and say if you are a christian and you are doing Gods will but a pastor tells you to forgive them.. and go around them and lead them to God.
what would you say? would you go and do what the pastor advises you to do.. or would you stand your ground.. and choose not to let this person hurt you again..
another Question.. is it wrong to think.. if they dont ask God to forgive them why should you?
are we not as christs brother or sister? should we not be like him? will he forgive when there is no repentance?
do you think that it would be on our heads if we dont forgive? should we have to? they are not our brother . how far should we go when ..we talk of forgivenss?

 

[Everglaze]

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:21

Continue to demonstrate your love for everyone by showing Christ's light. Just as God has forgiven you when you were a sinner, you should forgive others either Christians or non-Christians. Now, the part about this that doesn't really mesh is that, you have to know that your forgiveness for the person who came to you and sinned against you and abused you won't have their sins blotted out because that's for God to do when they come to him and repent and confess. As for you, just forgiving the person in general for the wrongs he/she has done against you is showing Christ's love and even if that person doesn't come to you to apologize, forgive and refer to the Romans 12:21 verse. Become more like Christ, don't payback evil for evil and carry on. There are two sides to this, you can either show the person love by forgiving or you can show the person hate by treating the person as if he/she isn't even a person. Which would be more Christ-like in your eyes?

 

[sjanae76]

I was watching The 700 Club today, and I don't remember all the details of the story, but what stuck out to me was: Forgiveness is not for the offender, it is for me. (something to that effect)

You should forgive, so that you let go of negative feelings. Those feelings aren't affecting the person you're hurt by or angry with. They eat at you. When you forgive, you are freeing yourself.

 

[joculi]

Let me say first that I have not been in a situation nearly as hurtful as what you describe. I can only speak from my fairly pedestrian experience.

would you go and do what the pastor advises you to do.. or would you stand your ground.. and choose not to let this person hurt you again..

Second, whether you are able to forgive them or not, you should certainly not let the person hurt you again. There is a difference between forgiveness and trusting. You may forgive by drawing on the grace God has shown you for your inspiration and strength. You may love this person despite their flaws. You may pray that God send the Holy Spirit to call this person to Him. But you do not have to trust. This person must earn your trust all over again. I do not believe your failure to trust them is a sign you have not forgiven them. If you pray earnestly for them and truly want God to give His grace and mercy to them, I believe you have forgiven.

another Question.. is it wrong to think.. if they dont ask God to forgive them why should you?
are we not as christs brother or sister? should we not be like him? will he forgive when there is no repentance?

Third, Here are a few Bible verses I used when struggling with the same issue. I concluded that were are called to forgive regardless of the repentance of our offender. I found that it took a great weight off my soul when I finally was able to forgive despite no repentance from the other person.

The first one is my favorite where Jesus prays for the forgiveness of his executioners even though they did not repent.

Luk 23:34 And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." And they cast lots to divide his garments. (note: they did not repent before Jesus prayed for their forgiveness).

In the rest of these, we can see that Jesus is very much in favor of us forgiving others.

Mat 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mat 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Mat 18:23-35 "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the reckoning, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents; and as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him the lord of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But that same servant, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat he said, 'Pay what you owe.' So his fellow servant fell down and besought him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' He refused and went and put him in prison till he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you besought me; and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."

Mar 11:25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

Luk 6:35-37 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish.
Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;


May God bless you and keep you.
May he heal your wounds and strengthen you
through His grace and Holy Spirit.

Sean

 

[daveleau]

The Scripture has been aptly covered in the above answers, so I will be brief...

Jesus doesn't say "forgive only when they ask". He tells us to forgive. If someone asks for forgiveness, we should have forgiven them even before they have mustered the words to ask.

 

[12volt_man]

this is a very touchy situation.. i am not here for debate.. i am here for answers of what other believe..

i know in the bible that its wrote.. we should forgive our Brother .. but what about our non christians .. i need to know how people feel.. and please be honest.

say if you had a realtive to beat you and sexually abuse you.. and they never would turn to God and repent and they never would come to you and say they are sorry..
and say if you are a christian and you are doing Gods will but a pastor tells you to forgive them.. and go around them and lead them to God.
what would you say? would you go and do what the pastor advises you to do.. or would you stand your ground.. and choose not to let this person hurt you again..
another Question.. is it wrong to think.. if they dont ask God to forgive them why should you?
are we not as christs brother or sister? should we not be like him? will he forgive when there is no repentance?
do you think that it would be on our heads if we dont forgive? should we have to? they are not our brother . how far should we go when ..we talk of forgivenss?

You know, that's a good question and one that I think needs to be addressed more often.

I can't tell you whether or not you should forgive somoene. That's between you and God but I can tell you that there isn't one example of anyone in scripture being forgiven by God (and as far as I know, by anyone else, either) without either repenting or asking for forgiveness.

My personal feeling is that we should always forgive when it's appropriate but to forgive just for the sake of forgiving is really sweeping something under the rug that's not going to be resolved until you address it.

 

[MusicMelOU]

Yes we should, as hard as that may seem.

Jesus said "forgive them, for they know not what they do" when he was being crucified.

If Jesus can say that about those who were trying to take his life (though they didn't actually kill him since He gave it up freely), through Him, we can gain the strength to forgive anyone.

 

[forgivenmuch]

thats some Good verse you gave me.. i will read more into those. my rightousness is filthy rags.. i am nothing but a servent to God..but i know the bible tells us ..not to yoke with unbeleivers.. and thats hard for me to believe that i should forgive and forget..about what has been done..and what will be..if i go back around these people..

 

[Rafael]

Jesus forgave them that abused Him and He said that we have to forgive too. We have to forgive or is hurts us. Keep taking it (unforgiveness) to the Lord till it stays with Him. He knows how to forget better than us, and He will help you understand His grace.

Mt 6:14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

[Sharri14]

Hey there,


I had a reall bad expierience,this person was very angry, following me around, he wanted to kill me at one point.
To this day I pray for him and his salvation. I will forgive if he ever asked me for it, and even if he did not ask for it I still forgive him.
I beleive we need to let go of our hatred,anger, grief on the inside and hand it to the Lord. Nothing in this world will ever come close to the crusification of our Lord and Saviuor Jesus.

God Bless,
Sharri

 

[fishstix]

say if you had a realtive to beat you and sexually abuse you.. and they never would turn to God and repent and they never would come to you and say they are sorry..
and say if you are a christian and you are doing Gods will but a pastor tells you to forgive them.. and go around them and lead them to God.
what would you say? would you go and do what the pastor advises you to do.. or would you stand your ground.. and choose not to let this person hurt you again..

Forgiving someone and allowing them to hurt you again are not the same thing. You most certainly should choose not to let the person abuse you again. However that does not mean that you can't also choose to forgive them. With God's help, you can do both. Does the pastor know the situation you are in? The details of the situation may slightly alter just what sort of advice he gives you. For example, you mention leading the person to God. That's certainly a good thing to do, however it is important not to put yourself in danger of more beating or sexual abuse. So the ways that you would go about doing that may differ depending on exactly what sort of situation you are in. Pray about it and use good judgment in deciding on exactly what you are going to do. Hopefully your decision will involve forgiveness and bring you healing rather than further hurt.

 

[MusicMelOU]

thats some Good verse you gave me.. i will read more into those. my rightousness is filthy rags.. i am nothing but a servent to God..but i know the bible tells us ..not to yoke with unbeleivers.. and thats hard for me to believe that i should forgive and forget..about what has been done..and what will be..if i go back around these people..

You can forgive and forget and still not be unequally yoked. I think the context of unequally yoked refers to being in intimate relationships with unbelivers, such as marraige and deep friendships. But we must associate with non-believers, because otherwise, how can we shine as light to them?

 

[WhiteFeather]

I read a book called the bait of Satan. It was a very good book about this subject which is a hard on to do for myself. But it speaks of holding on to the offense, yes even when we are right and justified to be offended, especially when things are done to you intentional and without any sense of guilt or concious on thier part. But it does state by holding on to that offense we are not only being self righteous that we are above thier sin, as all sins are equal in the site of God, and it is not our right to Judge, for the Lord will judge all things and in his own time. Anyway it was a very good book and really helped me, it is all scriptural based and lines up with the word of God throughout.

 

[forgivenmuch]

thanks i will try to find the book and read it.

 

[WhiteFeather]

YOu are welcome sister. The book really helped me tremendously, I read it after reading the purpose driven life, in which that one really opened my eyes, and I saw past myself, and that none of what I have went thru was about me, it was about saving my soul. Since then I have been striving to be on a mission for God, finding my spiritual gifts and doing what I can to give back to my church family who took me in, when I had no where else to go, and had been begging God to kill me off. I was still struggling with cancer, lost every thing I ever own for all my life, things that my children made, my family inheritance and my home.. My ex destroyed everything, and what he did give back to me... he made sure it was broken and damaged so I couldnt use it. I have been living on the kindness of strangers and the Grace of Our Father for over a year now. Things are not as importand as I thought, but my soul is, and The Lord is providing for me daily, not in wants, but my needs... I have learned humility in the deepest and purest form. Thank you Jesus.