Should this irk me?

[DZoolander]

So my wife and kids are out of town visiting the grandfolks this week.

I totally get that the grandma doesn't see them very often, cherishes them and is kinda jealous of the time she gets with them. I'm quite cognizant of that and try to make things brief so she can have quality time with them (primarily our 4 year old).

So last night I decide to make a quick call to say hi to my daughter - and this is how the conversation went (M = me - G = Grandma):

M: Hi bug! How's...
G: Tell daddy you saw some horses today! (she tells me)
M: Really? Did y...
G: Tell daddy that the boy is doing really well! (she tells me)
M: That's great! I'm s...
G: Tell daddy that you've got a lot of plans tomorrow! (she tells me)
M: (just shutting up at this point since clearly I can't get a word in)
G: Tell daddy that you're gonna do this...
G: Tell daddy you're gonna do that...
G: Tell daddy you played in the pool...
G: Tell daddy you love him!
G: Tell daddy bye!
M: Glad you're having a good time, love you, bye!
(click)

Now, like I said, I know she loves the kids, but that kinda irked me. lol Would it have irked you, too?

 

[Dave-W]

Yeah - for sure.

 

[Odetta]

Yep that would have irked me.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Yes. You should be able to talk to your own kids.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

That irked me, and I'm not even involved.

 

[HannahT]

Yep, irked would be a good word. There are nice but firm ways to hopefully back them off!

"Tell Daddy goodbye!"

"Actually, Grandma Daddy would like to have some Daddy-Daughter time without Grandma on the phone for a minute if you don't mine!"

You do it in an upbeat voice, non threatening, etc. She'll get the message, but it may go right over the kid's heads that you are politely asking her to back away from the phone.

I remember my parents would do this with us when we were shipped down to see family during the summertime when I was growing up. Our family lived 1,000 miles away, and our Sunday night phones were regular!

 

[Angeldove97]

Can your wife address the need for your daughter to talk to her father?

Hubby does the same thing for me when I'm trying to talk to his parents I'm so shy that he's learned to "help" the conversation by talking for me - I'm more comfortable now so I will try to talk and he'll nicely "butt in" and his own Mother has told him to shut up before to let me talk. I know what he's doing and that he's trying to help, but I do want to be able to talk to my MIL - I'm sure your daughter wants to have a conversation with you too.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

Yes siree. I get irked anytime adults try to talk for children when the child is being directly addressed.

 

[sdmsanjose]

Yeah EZ that is an irked conversation!
Does grandma do that often or was this a one time irking?

 

[DZoolander]

Oh Grandma gets on my nerves for a lot of things. This is just the latest one.

 

[Matthias Rose]

Doesn't matter whether it "should" or not. You are irked. What do you do about it when you are irked? Do you let G'ma know that she's irking you? If you don't, she may never change!

 

[annafullofgrace]

Yep

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Is it grandma on your side or your wife's side?

When we find ourselves in a situation where somebody is dictating the discussion for the kids, we usually say something like "Whoops, it's too loud over there and we can't hear you! Is there someplace quieter you can talk?"

 

[DZoolander]

Wife's side. If it had been my mom - it would be a different dynamic. lol

 

[bethrow]

I started laughing when I read this. I would have been annoyed for sure. She sounds like a ding bat!

 

[Soyeong]

Time to turn it around: Tell Grandma that you love her, that you'd like to speak with me, etc.