alli_boo said:
I have a few questions for all of you guys out there.
What would you consider sexual harrasment? What do you think schools should do to prevent it? Would you let it go on in your child's school? And what can be done to educate children about it?
I'll share part of my story to let you understand why Im asking this. I've always had a big problem in school, Starting in 8th grade several nasty rumors were started about me, including one about a hairbrush. I was harassed on a daily basis, and finally I decided to press charges on all the students, and the teachers that were involved (Yes the teachers were actually engaging in it.) By 9th grade the rumors escalated, and it went from rumors to people adding on and calling me a lesbian and a dike and spreading more rumors. After thanksgiving I got my hair cut short, which made the rumors short. Again we spent another year filing reports on students and teachers, and even had meetings with the district. And to this day- to a degree, the harrasment hasnt stopped. For the most part Ive learned to deal with it. But I want to know what could be done to prevent it for others in the future, and what might be different ways of handling situations like mine.
Thanks Very Much For Your Comments and Opinions!
A hairbrush?
Sorry.
Okay well firstly, rumors are easy to spread. Saying someone did something is especially easy to spread because it's gossip, there's no way to prove otherwise without something along the lines of a police investigation, and people tend to accept things that aren't
too far from the norm of everyday life without question. However, many of the people who confront you with such rumors probably realize there's no truth to them, and rather use them as childish insults, not unlike someone calling you a name in full knowledge that it isn't true. Unfortunately, there's that old saying "repeat a lie long enough and it becomes the truth", and that's what happens with rumors. They start off being blatant lies, but as more and more people hear the same thing, even if it all came from the same untrustworthy source, it starts to become accepted as a truth.
The only answer to this is to charge such people with slander, and hope they learn their lesson. If they don't, the only answer is to keep at it, and make sure they don't pass such rumors without a cost.
Now as for the claims about you being a lesbian, you could find a nerd and date him. Think of this as a two-fold benefit; you obviously can't be a lesbian if you're dating a guy, and he of course gets the benefit of not being quite so nerdy anymore. Take a few days sort of picking through them, because one nerd will almost invariably lead you to others. Once you have a selection, give it a shot. I'd estimate a 75-80% chance of a yes. And if he says no, he's a nerd, so what? Forget about him. Pick someone else. Remember though, this isn't dating for love, it's dating to make sure you can't be called a lesbian, so pick a guy that you'd find hard to become attached to (we nerds can grow on you, ya know?). That, or pick a nerd you like, and get a legitimate relationship with him (if you're opposed to dating for reasons other than love). Believe me, most of us are like sheep to a slaughter, we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into and have no social life beyond our computers and the occassional game of D&D.
As for the hairbrush thing, I dunno. You can't prove it didn't happen, but constant legal action should keep any rumors about you between friends only, and that should stem the flow of misinformation. It's better than letting rumors run rampant around your school.
