Should I write to a prisoner?

[tturt]

Don't recommend writing them.

 

[TheDag]

Also I wondered if god had made me pick out that prisoner because I've been a victim of sexual abuse and have never managed to forgive the man responsible. Maybe befriending someone who's committed similar crimes but not against me might be a way to start the healing process? But then I think maybe I should just write to a woman instead. But then I feel I'm judging the men and god will be angry about that!

I think your making it too complicated for yourself. I agree the healing for you could be a possibility as I have found a change in me and some healing after supporting a single mothers ministry in small ways without being directly involved. I had come to resent single mothers and support services because as a single father there just isn't the support available to me. This group specifically specified single fathers are not welcome. I can understand the reason for that but it is still hard to cope with. So yeah some healing may come to you by getting involved.

Receiving letters in prison is a kind of status symbol for the prisoners. If you remember that then perhaps you might see things differently. I would reccommend that instead of writing directly then perhaps you could get involved in Prison Fellowship. Prison Fellowship One of the things they do is write to prisoners. They also include protective measures such as false names. My mum was involved in this for a number of years. These days she sticks to the Angel Tree project which helps hidden victims of crime such as children of prisoners.
I imagine the Salvation Army would also do work in prisons although I'm not familiar with what they do in the UK only here in Oz. What they do may be a little outside your comfort zone in terms of the issues you mentioned but it is another option to look into.

 

[TheDag]

Read the entire passage for context. Just a few verses before the one you quoted:

Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me.

I still don't see the evidence for your claim. Any chance you could expand on this explanation. The verse says "the least of these". Well prisoners are considered the least in society and were thought of that way in biblical times. Also bear in mind that hospitality was a very important requirement for people at the time. The bible even tells us that towns were destroyed for their lack of hospitality. So hospitality is pretty important stuff.

 

[parsley]

I had letters from prisoners after singing at a prison, and hoo boy they did not pick up on the gospel message we delivered. Some of those letters needed to be handled with gloves and a ten-foot pole.

I suspect you are being idealistic and love a little danger, thinking that you should be the one to write bc you don't mind the risks. But make sure that you educate yourself on the risks before diving in.

Consider that someone might be up for parole in a week -- will the show up at your doorstep? If you stop writing and provoke someone to anger, will they send someone to retaliate or check up on you? They are probably not accustomed to generosity, so will assume you are writing for romantic reasons.

Female prisoners wanting men to write, well of course. And vice versa. But that is not because they want to hear the gospel explained.

When Jesus was talking about visiting prisoners and feeding the poor, He seemed to be pointing out that we DO have people in our lives that we should be caring for, and we prefer the title and role to doing the dirty work. We continually have friends and family telling us they need support.

Imagine a cousin getting arrested for petty theft -- you'd want to avoid him, but then someone really needs to fight for him, and make sure he doesn't go downhill with influences around him. Or what if he's innocent.

Imagine your grandmother goes into a nursing home -- are you delaying your next visit?

Did a friend get laid off and ask for a temporary place to stay? Does an aunt need help moving? Did an uncle just have a heart attack and needs help mowing the lawn?

There are things we don't feel like doing because we fear people will demand more of us, lean on us too much. Or we'd rather be doing something more fun and rewarding. Look around you, and see what needs God has brought your way.

 

[thatforumguy77]

By all means, be a blessing.
But at the same time, don't be a temptation.
It works both ways.
It depends on where you throw your pearls.

 

[Inkachu]

I had letters from prisoners after singing at a prison, and hoo boy they did not pick up on the gospel message we delivered. Some of those letters needed to be handled with gloves and a ten-foot pole.

I suspect you are being idealistic and love a little danger, thinking that you should be the one to write bc you don't mind the risks. But make sure that you educate yourself on the risks before diving in.

Consider that someone might be up for parole in a week -- will the show up at your doorstep? If you stop writing and provoke someone to anger, will they send someone to retaliate or check up on you? They are probably not accustomed to generosity, so will assume you are writing for romantic reasons.

Female prisoners wanting men to write, well of course. And vice versa. But that is not because they want to hear the gospel explained.

When Jesus was talking about visiting prisoners and feeding the poor, He seemed to be pointing out that we DO have people in our lives that we should be caring for, and we prefer the title and role to doing the dirty work. We continually have friends and family telling us they need support.

Imagine a cousin getting arrested for petty theft -- you'd want to avoid him, but then someone really needs to fight for him, and make sure he doesn't go downhill with influences around him. Or what if he's innocent.

Imagine your grandmother goes into a nursing home -- are you delaying your next visit?

Did a friend get laid off and ask for a temporary place to stay? Does an aunt need help moving? Did an uncle just have a heart attack and needs help mowing the lawn?

There are things we don't feel like doing because we fear people will demand more of us, lean on us too much. Or we'd rather be doing something more fun and rewarding. Look around you, and see what needs God has brought your way.

THIS ^^^

OP, please listen to those who've had experience in this before!

I've known many guys in prison (relatives, friends, ex's) and I've also been a penpal to a couple of inmates that I didn't know personally. Yes, there are people who truly just want a friend to talk to, to know that someone on the outside cares and thinks about them, but IMHO the inmates should be matched with someone of their own gender.

 

[asiyreh]

I suspect a large majority of the people early Christians may have been visiting in prison, were those arrested for the faith.

Mind what Parsley says here well. In fact I don't even think you should contemplate this thing at all in this stage in your life.

After the comment above I couldn't help wanting to look over your previous posts as well. You seem to have a very unhealthy obsession with this thing at the minute. I also suspect you're under spiritual attack.

We can't fix others if we ourselves are broken. You need to look inward at the moment. How is your knowledge of the scriptures? Do you feel you are best placed to answer complicated scriptural issues with your current knowledge?
There's plenty of things you can be doing for the kingdom, without putting yourself at this level of risk.

For the moment be courageous enough to stand back and let others better equipped to fight these dangerous battles.
Paul told us that there are stages to your Christian development, "milk and meat" and all that is in between.

Sometimes I get a kind of spidey sense about things. It's probably a spiritual gift from the Holy Spirit (I pray). All the spidey alarm bells are ringing! Please do not do this.

 

[oakrun]

But this is another thing I am wondering about. Is it not wrong of me to judge someone in that way? I feel like I'd be saying "Because of what you've done you don't deserve a penpal." Another reason why I picked that prisoner is because he's been putting ads up for months and still doesn't have anyone to write to. So which is better - for me to steer clear or to judge people on their crimes?

I'm sorry, but I still think you will do whatever you want to no matter how much people tell you it is not a good idea.

So...shrugs....when you encounter the inevitable problems you will create by
doing so, I imagine some people here will be able to give more advice that you will or will not listen to.

ps: if a person has been convicted of a crime, unless they are actually innocent which is seldom although sometimes the case, they have already been judged and sent to prison so no, you are not judging them.

See, smart people are not going to write someone with his background...at least not women who take offence at rape. Now, the best thing would be for a mature Christian man to write him.

End of advice

 

[TheDag]

ps: if a person has been convicted of a crime, unless they are actually innocent which is seldom although sometimes the case, they have already been judged and sent to prison so no, you are not judging them.

you need to read what is actually written. How the OP felt she might be judging them has nothing to do with if they are guilty or not.

 

[parsley]

I've known many guys in prison (relatives, friends, ex's) and I've also been a penpal to a couple of inmates that I didn't know personally. Yes, there are people who truly just want a friend to talk to, to know that someone on the outside cares and thinks about them, but IMHO the inmates should be matched with someone of their own gender.

And some nice people are in prison, and many pleasant people are criminals. Sometimes people that you already knew.

I think if an individual approaches prison ministry, they would be more effective and safe with a formal uniform or letterhead that shows they represent an organization, so there are no misunderstandings. That especially goes for women approaching men who haven't been free to carry on relationships for a long time.

In the days Jesus said that, the Jews were living under Roman control, so there could have been people imprisoned for resisting the empire or standing up for what they believed. Imagine someone like Nelson Mandela not having any visitors.

Jesus didn't put a condition on it, but equated it with people visiting Him... so I don't think He meant gruesome crimes. Consider that some of the crimes were addressed with death, so the worst offenders would not have been in prison.

 

[ImperatorWall]

I still don't see the evidence for your claim. Any chance you could expand on this explanation. The verse says "the least of these". Well prisoners are considered the least in society and were thought of that way in biblical times. Also bear in mind that hospitality was a very important requirement for people at the time. The bible even tells us that towns were destroyed for their lack of hospitality. So hospitality is pretty important stuff.

The text is staring you in the face, don't ask me for clarification, read it and pray for understanding. "The least of these" is qualified in the passage as being the least of Christ's children, or "brethren."

Hospitality is certainly important, as is serving everyone, but this particular passage cannot be used as justification for prison ministry writ large.

 

[TheDag]

The text is staring you in the face, don't ask me for clarification, read it and pray for understanding. "The least of these" is qualified in the passage as being the least of Christ's children, or "brethren."

Hospitality is certainly important, as is serving everyone, but this particular passage cannot be used as justification for prison ministry writ large.

my apologies for thinking you would be polite and helpful to others.

 

[oakrun]

you need to read what is actually written. How the OP felt she might be judging them has nothing to do with if they are guilty or not.

Qualifier: I backed up the posts and notice Dag, that you are making it your business to correct, basically,
everyone. We are not all perfect, so I imagine you will have your job cut out for you. The problem with that, is that it takes the focus off the op and puts the focus on YOU. Why not start a "Let me Correct Everything you do and say thread", that way, if someone actually needs your input, they can go there.

This is what she asked of me Dag:

So which is better - for me to steer clear or to judge people on their crimes?

That actually puts my response right in line with the question.

I know some people like to throw things out of left field, but I usually donate only one answer to those pitches and this is it.

 

[StormInside]

OK well I've thought about it and maybe it is a bad idea for me to write to one of those men. But I feel like I might be being called to write to someone lonely who doesn't get any letters. I found this organisation called British Prisoners Abroad, a proper organisation that provides penpals for Brits locked up abroad (mostly for drug smuggling) but they say they have enough penpals already and aren't looking for any more. I know there are some pensioner's organisations looking for people to write to the elderly but I don't feel I'd really have anything to say to someone so much older than me, it would be easier to write to someone nearer my own age. So does anyone have any suggestions?

Also someone said they think I'm under spiritual attack - what does this mean?

 

[Inkachu]

My suggestion is that you write to a lonely female soldier overseas.

Somehow, I don't think you'll accept that, though.

 

[StormInside]

My suggestion is that you write to a lonely female soldier overseas.

Somehow, I don't think you'll accept that, though.

why do you feel the need to be so patronising towards me? I haven't done anything to you. Are you suggesting that I'm looking for a boyfriend or something, because I am not. I am perfectly happy to write to a woman who wants a female penpal.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I believe Voice of the Martyrs has a link to write to those in prison for their faith. Let me see if I can find it ...

Prisoner Alert

I am surprised to see the number of prisoners listed is quite small right now, I thought it one time numbered much higher. But there are some.

Perhaps this would interest you?

 

[ImperatorWall]

my apologies for thinking you would be polite and helpful to others.

Oh no, don't play that game with me.

If you have questions, ask them, but ask them based on a proper understanding of the text and its context, not reasoning beyond it into extrapolation about principles of hospitality and ministry. Don't come to the text with such things already in mind, rather if they are in the text, discover them there.

If what you are not grasping is a proper understanding of the context, or the basics of Biblical hermeneutics, let me know, as I was assuming you have at least a rudimentary grasp of both. I'm more than willing to explain them.

 

[ValleyGal]

To the OP - I'm glad to see you are carefully considering your options. I am personally intimately familiar with prison visitation and have been doing it for nearly 7 years - I've even gone inside for up to 6 days at a time in order to facilitate family visits. From this vantage point, I think I can offer a little insight. Writing to inmates is not as easy as just buddying up with someone who needs to hear the Gospel. For this reason, I would recommend, if you feel strongly about prison ministry, is to search your area for actual prison ministries. The opportunities abound, if you are thoroughly trained and prepared.

If you want to know whether you are cut out for this kind of work (even through being a pen-pal), you might be interested in this link:
Tales from Kingston Pen - YouTube

About 40 seconds in, there is a man I've met. We've talked about what it took to get out of that lifestyle. It took one solid friend who stuck by. Where I live, we have a very active prison ministry and outreach, where inmates are matched to volunteer "friends". The friends are equipped and trained and receive ongoing support. Women are matched with women, men with men - for obvious reasons.

Part of the preparation is to show the realities of prison life, and the lifestyle that gets most people there. It's a completely different culture, different economy, different language, different ways of thinking and doing and even feeling. If friends are not aware of these, terrible things can happen. For this reason, I would recommend going through a direct prison ministry such as this one, where there is accountability and things are monitored and recorded.

And if you decide prison ministry is not your thing, I actually saw a youtube link posted in another board (I don't recall which board) talking about a ministry where they deliver very inexpensive backpacks to people who are homeless. The backpacks include practical items like toothbrush and paste, mouthwash, soap, toilet paper, face cloth, comb, razors - mostly stuff you can get at a dollar store. Believe me, the gratitude that comes your way in ministries like this is amazing, very rewarding....but in prison ministry, the rewards might not be so expressed.

For example, they might be thankful that you come to see them, and even express that. But then they can turn on a dime when you don't try to smuggle something in for them. Or they try to take advantage when they are out, etc. You need really strong boundaries, and the rewards are just the fact that you are sharing the Gospel. Expect it to be rejected - or used until it no longer serves their purpose.

I am by far not saying that's what happens with all of them....you can see this from the ones who are interviewed on the youtube video - and from the woman I go and see - who is so grateful that I've become part of the family.

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now. If you would like to know more, I'm pretty open about some of the things I've seen in there.... but I am very glad that you are thinking very carefully about it before jumping in.

 

[TheDag]

That actually puts my response right in line with the question.

I know some people like to throw things out of left field, but I usually donate only one answer to those pitches and this is it.

no it does not because you were still responding as if she should decide if they were guilty or not which is not what the OP was talking about. The OP was saying should she treat them differently because they have been found guilty. See the difference?