Should I write to a prisoner?

[StormInside]

"I was in prison and you did not visit me." God will be angry with us if we leave prisoners to rot alone right? I have spare time and I thought I'd make use of it by becoming penpals with a prisoner. There are hundreds of prisoners who have no family or friends to write to them and are desperate for letters. So I started browsing the adverts but I've come upon a problem. They have all committed sexual and violent crimes against women. Having been a victim of an abusive man myself, this is making me not want to write to them after all. What should I do? I thought about writing to a friendless soldier instead but they all seem pervy and just interested in meeting women for romantic/sexual relationships.

 

[Inkachu]

Uh... not ALL prisoners are men who've committed crimes against women. And not all soldiers are pervy... and there ARE female prisoners and soldiers, you know.

I've read over your post history, and I'm not really sure what to make of this thread.

 

[StormInside]

Uh... not ALL prisoners are men who've committed crimes against women. And not all soldiers are pervy... and there ARE female prisoners and soldiers, you know.

I've read over your post history, and I'm not really sure what to make of this thread.

what is that supposed to mean?

The male prisoners and soldiers all ask for female penpals and the female prisoners and soldiers seem to want male.

I had actually already picked out a prisoner. He seemed genuine and his profile said he was in for burglary, so I thought he'd be ideal. But then I looked him up on the prison website and he's also been in for statutory rape of someone under 16 and sodomy of someone under 14, as well as assault on many people. Now I don't know whether I should write to him or not.

 

[oakrun]

Take some real good advice. Write to a female prisoner if you think you need to write to a prisoner

Obviously, and I do mean obviously, there is a reason that males prefer females and vice versa. That reason, is why you should most likely not write to a male in prison.

I seriously question why you would insist on writing to nice guys who are in prison for various sexual attacks.

Unlike the responder before me, I am not familiar with your other posts but this one
indicates you might just go ahead and do whatever you want anyway.

I had actually already picked out a prisoner. He seemed genuine and his profile said he was in for burglary, so I thought he'd be ideal. But then I looked him up on the prison website and he's also been in for statutory rape of someone under 16 and sodomy of someone under 14, as well as assault on many people. Now I don't know whether I should write to him or not.

You don't know, eh? I bet the girl he raped and whoever he sodomized could tell you what to do...sheesh

 

[StormInside]

You don't know, eh? I bet the girl he raped and whoever he sodomized could tell you what to do...sheesh

But this is another thing I am wondering about. Is it not wrong of me to judge someone in that way? I feel like I'd be saying "Because of what you've done you don't deserve a penpal." Another reason why I picked that prisoner is because he's been putting ads up for months and still doesn't have anyone to write to. So which is better - for me to steer clear or to judge people on their crimes?

 

[StormInside]

Also I wondered if god had made me pick out that prisoner because I've been a victim of sexual abuse and have never managed to forgive the man responsible. Maybe befriending someone who's committed similar crimes but not against me might be a way to start the healing process? But then I think maybe I should just write to a woman instead. But then I feel I'm judging the men and god will be angry about that!

 

[~Anastasia~]

I have not seen the advert site you mentioned. Do they all specify opposite-sex pen pals?

I wonder what would happen if you just wrote a female prisoner? Would the site that is organizing this refuse to send it? If they do allow it, would it remove her request so she couldn't get letters from a male?

If no in both cases, it wouldn't hurt to try.

If you're worried about following Scripture - well I'm pretty sure God understands your heart and the risks. Why not focus on hospital patients instead? Or how about, instead of entering a long term "relationship" via a pen pal commitment, doing something like writing lots of cards and sending them to many prisoners instead of just one? I realize the ministering that could occur would be different and in some ways limited, but you can still touch lives, and potentially many more.

I do think you are wise to guard your heart and mind, and potentially your safety, by taking care how you go into this.

 

[ImperatorWall]

I would just like to mention that you are not in any way obeying Scripture if you become a penpal with a random prisoner. The exhortations to remember those in prison is only talking about those who are imprisoned due to their faith and are suffering persecution.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Well, I suppose it's possible you could both experience healing and forgiveness, but ... Circumstances would have to be "just so". Not that God can't do it - certainly He can - but unless you are feeling very much led of God specifically to do this (and even then I'd say only with much prayer and hopefully wise counsel along the way) ... Unless that is the case, I'd say this more likely falls in the category of something you'd be wise to exercise discernment and be very careful about committing to.

 

[StormInside]

It's not that they don't allow it, you send mail directly to the prisoner. It's just most of them are requesting opposite sex penpals. But maybe writing to that man isn't a good idea. I might try and think of some other people to write to like lonely pensioners or something.

 

[StormInside]

I would just like to mention that you are not in any way obeying Scripture if you become a penpal with a random prisoner. The exhortations to remember those in prison is only talking about those who are imprisoned due to their faith and are suffering persecution.

where does it say that? I got the impression we are supposed to do whatever we can to visit the sick, communicate with prisoners etc whether they are Christians or not?

 

[ImperatorWall]

where does it say that? I got the impression we are supposed to do whatever we can to visit the sick, communicate with prisoners etc whether they are Christians or not?

Read the entire passage for context. Just a few verses before the one you quoted:

Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me.

 

[~Anastasia~]

It's not that they don't allow it, you send mail directly to the prisoner. It's just most of them are requesting opposite sex penpals. But maybe writing to that man isn't a good idea. I might try and think of some other people to write to like lonely pensioners or something.

Have you prayed about it? In many places, Scripture exhorts us to remember many classes of people. Prisoners, sick, orphans, widows, and so on. I think there is a good case for looking to the overall picture the Bible presents, and put this in the category of "love your neighbor as yourself". Any good you can do ANY person will be approved by God, but yes, especially to those in the faith. However ministry to non-Christians may also be used by God to open their hearts to His love.

So it's ALL good.

No need to beat yourself up for being wise in how you apply it. That you are doing SOMEthing is commendable.


Eta:
(Btw because Imperator is posting at the same time - I want to say my posts are not directed against what he is saying - he's right about the context of that particular verse. I'm commenting on Scripture as a whole.)

 

[ImperatorWall]

Have you prayed about it? In many places, Scripture exhorts us to remember many classes of people. Prisoners, sick, orphans, widows, and so on. I think there is a good case for looking to the overall picture the Bible presents, and put this in the category of "love your neighbor as yourself". Any good you can do ANY person will be approved by God, but yes, especially to those in the faith. However ministry to non-Christians may also be used by God to open their hearts to His love.

So it's ALL good.

No need to beat yourself up for being wise in how you apply it. That you are doing SOMEthing is commendable.


Eta:
(Btw because Imperator is posting at the same time - I want to say my posts are not directed against what he is saying - he's right about the context of that particular verse. I'm commenting on Scripture as a whole.)

You are right about service and ministry, it just bugs me to see Scripture "proof-texted" to justify some specific act.

Context people!

 

[StormInside]

some of the prisoners are Christians, so should we not feel obligated to give them some contact?

 

[ImperatorWall]

some of the prisoners are Christians, so should we not feel obligated to give them some contact?

Do you mean that we should feel obligated to contact them based on Scripture? Certainly not.

If they are indeed Christians, they will have people in their lives who have an obligation to pray for, encourage, and stay in contact with them. If you find that your heart is inclined to serve and minister to someone, find someone tangible that needs your help. Not a faceless personality thousands of miles away.

I assure you, all you have to do is take a walk down the street to find someone that could use help.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Jesus knows the hearts of men and women in prison. It's not the first time that a Christian would allow preaching the Word of God in prison, as my memory has popped up television images of American TV pastor Kenneth Copeland, who fearlessly with great passion would travel to places where the Word of God would never seem to be regarded as the miracle spiritual transformation book - the book of Christ that promises an eternal positive future of ultimate health and wealth perfection while under the rulership of our future-coming global president or ruler: Jesus Christ himself:.
Our past failures/successes do no dictate or repeat the same pattern experiences when Jesus returns and transforms us, once he has defeated Satan:. Once we are transformed with new memory-perfected minds and injury-proof bodies, we will experience ultimate success as new ideas, suggestions, feedback become as natural as tying our own shoelaces.:
No educational subject too complex such as Science and Law would be too complicated to understand, even if both are chosen because of the highest intelligence of Jesus Christ who knows the secrets of Creation that created life on Earth besides the universe Rev 21:2 .;'*;.

 

[Emil Rez52]

I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[miss-a]

Also I wondered if god had made me pick out that prisoner because I've been a victim of sexual abuse and have never managed to forgive the man responsible. Maybe befriending someone who's committed similar crimes but not against me might be a way to start the healing process? But then I think maybe I should just write to a woman instead. But then I feel I'm judging the men and god will be angry about that!

There are times in life when any of us will come across someone who needs help, but we are not the ones able to help. We can still pray for them and pray that the person who is meant to help will rise up and provide the help. If a man insists upon a female penpal, that is a good indication that boundaries could get hazy pretty quickly, and that would not just be bad for you, but it would also be bad for them.

There are lots of things you can do to help people, and someone who truly wanted help, I'm not sure would be so specific as to say they needed it from someone of the opposite sex. In my opinion, it is best that you wait until there is a woman who is looking for a penpal. And then it is important to realize that you will still need to have very good boundaries. This is someone you do not know and whose motives you cannot tell. So you will need to be aware that this is ministry on your part.This person is not likely to be someone who can give back to you at this time. You can be company and the voice of Jesus to them. This is not for you. It is for them to have the opportunity to meet Jesus.

Not everyone is called to prison ministry. If we are not called, it is best that we leave to and pray for those who are. I don't happen to be called to it. I have a friend who is. I am called to things she is not called to. The Lord has a calling for you, and it's okay if it is not prison ministry. You can still pray for these people. In the end it is about the heart. That's what those verses are speaking of. Do we have a heart for other people or not. So the Lord is blessed that you want to help them. That doesn't necessarily mean it is the task He has equipped you to do.

Hope that helps,
a

 

[Inkachu]

Given your personal history, Storm, I would STRONGLY suggest contacting a prison ministry and allowing them to educate you a bit on what you're considering. There's a reason the men "request" female penpals; it isn't because they crave platonic, Christian chatter, my friend. Anytime any of us approaches a ministry opportunity, we need to go in with eyes wide open on both ends; we need to be fully aware of the people we're about to interact with, and we need to be fully aware of our own motives. Oh, it's easy to say "I want to obey Scripture and care about people in prison", but how easy is it to try and create a "safe" relationship with a guy who can't possibly hurt you - because he's behind bars? I speak from experience and wisdom here. We can cloak it in Christian-ese talk all day long, but at the end of the day, for a single Christian woman to approach a male in prison, someone who's committed serious crimes and would probably be extremely dangerous on the street, but he's safe behind those bars, he's lonely, he's "beaten down" by the system... it is a very, very sticky situation. As women, we have that natural urge to nurture, comfort, heal, and make it all better. Many a good-intentioned woman has been taken advantage of in this way. A few sad lines that stir up sympathy and suddenly she's sending money orders and fantasizing about "when he gets out".

If you're serious about JUST wanting to minister to someone, and your own personal, deep-down, behind-closed-doors motives are absolutely, 10000% pure... then you should have no qualms about contacting a reputable prison ministry organization. Most of them have literature and resources on how to go about approaching penpal relationships with prisoners, and the people there have vastly more experience with these situations than the average person, and they can guide you more safely through the process.