Hello everyone, this is my second post on the forums and I just wanted to do a short introduction. My names Matt, I'm 22 and I became a born again Christian on February 2nd of this year.
I could make a long post about my testimony and where I came from, what sin I was deeply involved in but long story short, I had a huge addiction and dependency on masturbation/lust/porn. I would even go as far as to say that porn was my God (before I got saved of course) and I would always go back to it, even though I knew afterwards I would always feel empty and ashamed. I was involved in this sin for years and the addiction got worse when I got my own laptop and smartphone. Anyways I didn't realize at the time I was addicted and that it was a problem because just like any sin, if you do it enough times, you can corrupt your spirit to the point where it no longer feels wrong. I want to be clear I was not an atheist, I always believed in God growing up, however I never committed my life to Christ and became born again simply because I loved my sin.
Well after I became born again, God changed me! The desire to look at porn/touch went away (for about the first week or so) and I no longer felt like I was a slave to sin.. until of course the first time I gave into the temptation to look at porn/touch. Afterwards I remember the tremendous amount of guilt, regret and shame I felt. It was as if I set myself backwards, all that joy and hope I was feeling before just vanished and I felt the conviction of the holy spirit inside me. I remember the next few days, the guilt and shame progressively went away but it was still there but I do remember eventually a point in time where I received the joy and comfort I previously experienced and it was at this point where I felt as close to God as I ever felt before ever in my life. It was as if I wasn't even alive in an earthly sense, I almost felt like an angel. Anyways, you guessed it, after about going a full month (it was actually over a month) of not giving into the temptation, I gave in again... and this time, I felt like it set me back even further then ever and at the time I never felt more ashamed of myself.
Well here I am today and I'm ready to start over again and one thing I have not tried yet was fasting. I've never done it before and tomorrow I was considering fasting (no eating for a full day) for the first time just to discipline myself and also for spiritual reasons as well, and is this a good idea considering my circumstances?
I could make a long post about my testimony and where I came from, what sin I was deeply involved in but long story short, I had a huge addiction and dependency on masturbation/lust/porn. I would even go as far as to say that porn was my God (before I got saved of course) and I would always go back to it, even though I knew afterwards I would always feel empty and ashamed. I was involved in this sin for years and the addiction got worse when I got my own laptop and smartphone. Anyways I didn't realize at the time I was addicted and that it was a problem because just like any sin, if you do it enough times, you can corrupt your spirit to the point where it no longer feels wrong. I want to be clear I was not an atheist, I always believed in God growing up, however I never committed my life to Christ and became born again simply because I loved my sin.
Well after I became born again, God changed me! The desire to look at porn/touch went away (for about the first week or so) and I no longer felt like I was a slave to sin.. until of course the first time I gave into the temptation to look at porn/touch. Afterwards I remember the tremendous amount of guilt, regret and shame I felt. It was as if I set myself backwards, all that joy and hope I was feeling before just vanished and I felt the conviction of the holy spirit inside me. I remember the next few days, the guilt and shame progressively went away but it was still there but I do remember eventually a point in time where I received the joy and comfort I previously experienced and it was at this point where I felt as close to God as I ever felt before ever in my life. It was as if I wasn't even alive in an earthly sense, I almost felt like an angel. Anyways, you guessed it, after about going a full month (it was actually over a month) of not giving into the temptation, I gave in again... and this time, I felt like it set me back even further then ever and at the time I never felt more ashamed of myself.
Well here I am today and I'm ready to start over again and one thing I have not tried yet was fasting. I've never done it before and tomorrow I was considering fasting (no eating for a full day) for the first time just to discipline myself and also for spiritual reasons as well, and is this a good idea considering my circumstances?
