I attend a public university and have a choir scholarship there, although I am not a music major. The music director is a Christian and also directs the choir program at a local Methodist church in my town. Today, the director called a meeting for the different university choir classes for some updates, and told us about our next concert near the end of the semester. He said we would be doing a piece called "Considering Matthew Shepard", with the lyrics being a series of poems about the tragic murder of Matthew Shepard, who was killed because he was gay back in 1998.
The director informed us that the concert would raise money for the Matthew Shepard Foundation, an organization which promoted acceptance and inclusion of LGBT people and education to "stop hatred and bigotry. "
In the concert, we would remove our black robes to reveal different color shirts underneath, like a Pride flag.
I'm not sure what to do. I listened to the music and read the lyrics; the music itself is beautifully done and much of the lyrics are also beautiful and heartfelt. But there's certain parts that are difficult for me to swallow. There are parts where the boy is compared to Christ, for example there is a section that is labelled "passion", and a poem about a Westborough Baptist protester that goes like this:
"kreuzige, kreuzige! (translation: crucify, crucify)
A boy who takes a boy to bed?
Where I come from that's not polite
He asked for it, you got that right
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
The only good *redacted* is a *redacted* that's dead
A man and a woman, the Good Lord said
As sure as Eve took that first bite
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
kreuzige, kreuzige!
Beneath the Hunter's Moon he bled
That must have been a pretty sight
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
C’mon, kids, it's time for bed
Say your prayers, kiss Dad good night
A boy who takes a boy to bed?
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
crucify, crucify the light, crucify the light . . ."
I might be able to go along with the concert if it weren't for the fact that we're raising money for an organization that I disagree with on a moral and spiritual level. The director was very passionate about it and is known to have a temper, so I'm afraid to speak to him about wishing to abstain from the concert. A big chunk of the people in the music department are LGBT (I'd say about 40% or so), so I also fear social backlash if people learned why I'm not in the concert. I also fear losing my scholarship and getting kicked out of choir, and the whole thing even getting spread around campus (I go to a very small university), because the Foundation is going to get involved with the whole university.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I say that I don't want to participate in the concert, I will be accused of disrespecting the dead, or worse, being as hateful as the victim's killers. It will be seen as though I think his death was fine or good because he was gay, and that I think gay people should be harassed and bullied for their orientation. If I go through with the concert, I'll be violating my conscience, and the Truth.
I love gay people; I've had friends come out to me, and I've been very loving to them, because of my love for Christ. And my love for the Living God is very deep; I see Him in the world around me and in his word. I meditate on Him daily. I see Him in the relationship between a husband and wife, a reflection of Christ and the Church, and even as a reflection of God and His relationship with the human soul. This is why the sacrament of marriage between a man and a woman is so dear and sacred to me (although I am not married).
But am I being hateful in some way? I feel guilty for not wanting to sing music about a young man being murdered for his sexual orientation. That's not why I don't want to sing it. But when I take off the robe to show the Pride colors, then it's like I'm saying I embrace homosexuality, and I'm helping to raise money for an organization that would say my beliefs are hateful and should be eliminated.
What should I do? Should I sing or not? Am I overreacting? Please keep me in your prayers.
