Should i report child abuse?

[ValleyGal]

I agree with LoricaLady. I also spent a year working in child protection and currently work with families who have open child protection files and are mandated to attend the program we have. I do outreach, so I work in some of their homes. However, if a home is unsafe to anyone - children, social workers, frontline workers, etc, we are not to attend their home. If the OP goes to speak to the mother, it could create an unsafe situation not only for him, but also for the child. Make the call and pray for safety.

Also, there is no social worker out there who will tell you not to make a call just because if they don't find anything, you will be in trouble. It is ALWAYS better to err on the side of caution. They do a LOT of investigations, and not all of them yield incompetent parents. And no one ever gets in trouble unless they make a malicious call.

 

[Toro]

I'm currently living in an extended stay hotel. A few days ago a woman and a child, I assume it's her daughter, moved into the room next to me. Basically, this woman is yelling very loudly all day long at this poor little girl. She is constantly screaming at this girl, I try not to listen but the tone is clearly verbally and psychologically abusive. I even heard her threaten foster parents to the little girl. It's been going on ever since they moved in about 5 days ago. I pray for the little girl, I feel like she's under psychological trauma all day everyday. This lady is a very, very angry woman. I have not heard any physical abuse but all day long I hear her screaming at this little girl, saying mean and hateful things to her. The girl is no older than 6 years old. I turn my fan on high and play music full blast on my phone so I can't hear it, but even then i can still hear her yelling. I don't know if I should call and report child abuse to the Social Services or not. Do you guys think I should call them and just report what I'm hearing? I don't want to get anybody in trouble or get involved in anybody's business but it is pretty bad...

Yes, call.

IF you call and get someone involved its no longer your concern. If they find that she is not being abused..... great. If she is, it will be taken care of.

The real question is..... if the young girl ends up dead tomorrow.... could you live with yourself having done nothing?

If you feel she is truly being abused..... don't think that someone else is gonna "do something" cause everyone else is thinking "surely someone else will do something". Only to find out, nothing ever happens to help those like the little girl that can't defend themselves.

 

[WilliamBo]

The mother obviously sounds mental. I'm so glad you wrote your OP because that means people will not just be giving advice but praying for the child.

Absolutely call CPS and report the mother! I have worked in the school system and reported more than one case of child abuse. Now, some agencies are better than others. They may well tell you there is nothing they can do without some tangible evidence of some kind. But, still your call may help build up a trail. Also, are any of your temporary "neighbors" concerned and willing to add their 2 cents to CPS?

You say there is no physical abuse, but we can't know for sure, especially about the future.

I pray for your guidance, and help for the girl and her mother.

I finally called and made the report. They told me they will review the report in 3-5 days and see if they shpuld do somethijg aboit it or not. They told me it's not guaranteed. They said I can call the local police to do a "welfare check" but that's it.

Thank you everyone for your advice and input. I appreciate it.

 

[LoricaLady]

I finally called and made the report. They told me they will review the report in 3-5 days and see if they shpuld do somethijg aboit it or not. They told me it's not guaranteed. They said I can call the local police to do a "welfare check" but that's it.

Again, though, you may be helping to leave something on a trail with others' complaints. Further, they are not likely to tell you what they may already have on the mother or anything much, really. They are ultra cautious in what they say.

Good for you that you care and that you called.

 

[LoricaLady]

Just had a thought. You say you are in a temporary hotel lodging place. I would discretely check out that woman's license plate. Then I would call officials in her state - if it is different from the one in your current area - and give them a heads up.

 

[seashale76]

I'm currently living in an extended stay hotel. A few days ago a woman and a child, I assume it's her daughter, moved into the room next to me. Basically, this woman is yelling very loudly all day long at this poor little girl. She is constantly screaming at this girl, I try not to listen but the tone is clearly verbally and psychologically abusive. I even heard her threaten foster parents to the little girl. It's been going on ever since they moved in about 5 days ago. I pray for the little girl, I feel like she's under psychological trauma all day everyday. This lady is a very, very angry woman. I have not heard any physical abuse but all day long I hear her screaming at this little girl, saying mean and hateful things to her. The girl is no older than 6 years old. I turn my fan on high and play music full blast on my phone so I can't hear it, but even then i can still hear her yelling. I don't know if I should call and report child abuse to the Social Services or not. Do you guys think I should call them and just report what I'm hearing? I don't want to get anybody in trouble or get involved in anybody's business but it is pretty bad...

Always report child abuse. I'm a mandatory reporter (when I was a teacher and now as a nurse). I've called CPS numerous times over the years. I have never regretted doing so.

 

[Zoii]

Teen stabbed stepfather to death to protect 7yo sister, court told

 

[WilliamBo]

Okay you guys something that happened tonight. The mother of the little girl got really angry, like always, but this time I heard her smacking the girl. She smacked her like over 20 times in less than 60 seconds. It was loud and the girl was crying. I knocked on the door and she wouldn't open up, she looked through the peep hole and screamed out "WHY ARE YOU KNOCKING ON MY DOOR?!" And I just said "hey I'm your neighbor, I heard some commotion I was just making sure everything was all right". And she opened up and said "this is my daughter and she's being disobedient." And I said "okay fine, I'm just making sure everything was okay", trying to be as respectful as possible and not act like im "prying" into her business. I think she could tell i was genuinely concerned, she wasnt nasty with me but didnt say anything else and she closed the door and now it's really quiet over there. I already reported her to the child abuse hotline AND i reported her to the hotel a few days ago, I don't know what else I can do? I'm feeling extremely shaken up.

Maybe i should go out of my way to be nice to the little girl when i see her playing outside and try and help a little?

 

[ValleyGal]

It is always disturbing to hear abuse as it happens, and it is disturbing to have to make the call. It took a lot of courage, but you should also make another call for the abuse you heard tonight. It is serious and has escalated. As disturbing as it is to have to call again, know that you are potentially saving the life of a little defenseless child. This child is unable to speak up and have a voice right now, so you need to be her voice and inform the authorities again. When you call the authorities, please tell them that the intensity of violence has escalated from verbal to physical, and you are concerned for the child's welfare. This child is being traumatized and will likely need more intervention than child protection - the sooner, the better.

Also, keep a journal of everything you see, hear, etc, and also dates and times you make calls to the child protection authorities. Whatever you do, do NOT go over there again. Chances are she will now just keep it quiet, but the abuse could still be going on. Also, by going over there when the mom is that emotionally uncontrollable, you are also putting yourself at significant risk.

 

[WilliamBo]

I wanted to update this situation. So after hearing the physical abuse I made a second report. The Child Protection Services just came out today to speak with the lady. She wasn't home so the workers went around the hotel asking everyone if she was a good mother, where she worked, if they knew about her abusing the child, etc etc. The lady came home and all the neighbors went and told her that someone was looking for her and she started screaming and freaking out, she doesn't know it was me that made the report but assumed it was because she started screaming "the man next door (me) is smoking marijuana every day and i can smell it"... which is completely untrue. That was all i heard, i knew she was about to explode so i went in my bathroom and shut the door because i didnt want to hear it. She started crying very loudly and angrily and all the neighbors and maintenance workers came to her room and were comforting her, etc... Im starting to wonder if i did the right thing... I dont think i heard her smacking the girl like in the HEAD but i did hear really bad stuff

 

[ValleyGal]

Yes, you did the right thing. Perhaps she has someone on the other side of her who smokes pot, but smoking pot is not reportable to the Child Protection Agency unless a parent is violating a law prohibiting smoking it near their children, or with their children in their custody. Other people were probably trying to console her because she is so emotionally unstable that she needs others to regulate her emotions for her. It's better to be her external regulator than to let her take out her anger on her child. I hope some day you will be around to be interviewed, and I hope the others who were there to be interviewed were honest and spoke in the best interest of the child.

Everyone seems to think the worst of child protection social workers. Yes, there are some horror stories of children dying in care, those who were investigated and let off the hook when they shouldn't be, etc. But for the most part, social workers try hard to do their job in the best interest of the child. That is the common interest... people looking out for the children.

This is something that seems to be forefront to you right now. I wonder if you could look up the laws in your area and familiarize yourself with your rights and responsibilities, as well as the rights of children and responsibilities of parents. You can even call a social worker and see if you can ask them some questions about the system and what specifically constitutes abuse and how they investigate. For interest's sake.