Should I not talk about it in public?

[GaveMeJoy]

Hey,
My wife cheated, walked away from God and filed for divorce and took my kids. The state says I only get to have them every other weekend and Wednesdays.

I found Jesus and joy through all of this horrific past two years. And mostly what I talk about is my joy, despite my circumstances. It’s my new testimony!

But I feel like in public people ask ALL the time if I’m married or whatever, especially when I bring up my kids. So I’ve been saying “my wife cheated on me and filed for divorce.” LOL to like the barber at the barber shop, or the bank teller, or car insurance person

I don’t know if it’s a disassociation thing, or if I’m doing it for attention or if I do it because I’m sad. But it’s soooo fun and the people are always SO weirded out but sometimes they laugh haha.

Is this a bad thing to do? I know it’s weird and I don’t want to like have a bad testimony for Christ or whatever but i find it cathartic to do this, especially because I won’t talk about it on social media or other places.


J

 

[Isaac the Recluse]

I went with 'Depends'. Going from light conversation into personal stuff right away is going to make some people uncomfortable as they realise they've stumbled into a deeper conversation than they were prepared for. With some people that could work well, with others it could be easier, and kinder to them, to go with "I was", or "Not any more" and let them ask a follow-up if they're going to be prepared to go there.

But to answer your question, they way you do it, no, it's not a bad thing to do. Only that there might be a better way sometimes.

I noticed you call it cathartic. I may be reading too much into that, but it tells me you're bottling up a whole lot of unprocessed emotion - that might be bad. There are people who will help you through that.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hey,
My wife cheated, walked away from God and filed for divorce and took my kids. The state says I only get to have them every other weekend and Wednesdays.

I found Jesus and joy through all of this horrific past two years. And mostly what I talk about is my joy, despite my circumstances. It’s my new testimony!

But I feel like in public people ask ALL the time if I’m married or whatever, especially when I bring up my kids. So I’ve been saying “my wife cheated on me and filed for divorce.” LOL to like the barber at the barber shop, or the bank teller, or car insurance person

I don’t know if it’s a disassociation thing, or if I’m doing it for attention or if I do it because I’m sad. But it’s soooo fun and the people are always SO weirded out but sometimes they laugh haha.

Is this a bad thing to do? I know it’s weird and I don’t want to like have a bad testimony for Christ or whatever but i find it cathartic to do this, especially because I won’t talk about it on social media or other places.


J

Least said the better. It may make you feel better, but I don't believe it helps you or your listeners. Of course you don't lie. But neither do you have to run your ex down. It's good that you don't get into it on social media. When I was asked, I simply said that there was fault on both sides, which is the truth. Be thankful that you get see your kids. I did not see mine for 15 years.

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, we say the things the way we say them for a reason. With time and healing I have found that I say things differently. I'm guessing you will find that happens as well.

There is a time to to speak to your history. There is a time to speak to where you are now. I usually just say I'm single rather than divorced. But 12 years have passed and it doesn't seem like that should erally be the defining experience in my life this far into the future.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Ya, we say the things the way we say them for a reason. With time and healing I have found that I say things differently. I'm guessing you will find that happens as well.

There is a time to to speak to your history. There is a time to speak to where you are now. I usually just say I'm single rather than divorced. But 12 years have passed and it doesn't seem like that should erally be the defining experience in my life this far into the future.

Thank you so much this is really encouraging

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Least said the better. It may make you feel better, but I don't believe it helps you or your listeners. Of course you don't lie. But neither do you have to run your ex down. It's good that you don't get into it on social media. When I was asked, I simply said that there was fault on both sides, which is the truth. Be thankful that you get see your kids. I did not see mine for 15 years.

Yea you are right it isn’t beneficial to do this even if it feels good. It’s interesting, I still love my wife and pray for reconciliation! That’s only Jesus. Thank you for your encouraging and truthful words

 

[Aussie Pete]

Yea you are right it isn’t beneficial to do this even if it feels good. It’s interesting, I still love my wife and pray for reconciliation! That’s only Jesus. Thank you for your encouraging and truthful words

I'm glad you could see what I was getting at. I have no desire to be offensive or hurtful. Sometimes the truth does hurt but it also set us free.