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Should I feel abnormal?

simonsays89

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Hey all, I'm wondering if I can get some perspective from some fellow Christian singles. So without reposting my whole life story (you can find it in the OCD forum if your so inclined to read it), I am wondering if anyone is in the same boat as me. So one of the things that has led to my outbreak of HOCD is the fact that I have been single for so long and am not sexually experienced at all.

So pretty much all across the board, all denominations hold to the fact that sex and sexual acts are to be for marriage. I've spent a lot of time over my life memorizing and internalizing scripture and have also determined this for myself. From about the 9th grade, I decided that I would save myself for marriage. I've only ever had one girlfriend (my junior year of hs for about 8 months) and it was not a serious relationship. There was also a 20 min. distance between us so we couldn't see each other all the time like most young couples like. Anyways, we never moved beyond regular kissing, and especially as the relationship drew to a close, I was OK with that, knowing I never wanted to get too physically serious with someone I wouldn't marry.

Flash forward to my sophomore year of college, and I've been single ever since. I've had a few girls who I had some serious interest in, but things never panned out. I go to a public college, and all around me my friends are hooking up, and people talk about sex, making out at parties, etc.

Personally, I am not tempted to get involved in this at all. This in no way looking down on anyone who does face that temptation, but I am lucky to not have that. I don't have to be in a relationship, and right now I do not desire sex. These feelings have caused me to wonder if I am weird, and as a result brought out the HOCD that I've been feeling. I'm not saying I don't want to have sex ever, just right now since I am not in a committed relationship, I don't desire it and honestly don't really think about it.

I really though have been questioning and losing confidence about this. Especially because if you look at the world, this is a totally opposite lifestyle that is promoted. They also portray every single teenager as a horny, hormone crazed person who can't stop thinking about sex. Especially as a guy, I feel like there is pressure on me to want to make out and have sex with any girl I find attractive (or maybe any girl for that matter). All of this makes me wonder, is there anyone out there like me? Committed to waiting and not really tempted to break that decision?

Would love to hear your comments/stories/opinions if you want to share!
 

SnowyMacie

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Have you made an appointment with a psychologist. If you think you might have OCD, see one.
I will say this, if you say you really haven't been attracted to a girl in a while, of course your going to lose temptation to break it. Besides, not all guys struggle with lust, I honestly didn't until I was a senior in high school. Even now, my sexual desire is lower than most guys my age. It doesn't mean your gay, just means you have less of a desire which in a way is a good thing, you're less tempted.
Seriously, if you think you have OCD go see a psychologist.
 
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simonsays89

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I actually have made an appointment with a psychologist for Tuesday. Hoping to straighten all that nonsense out. I've had a really good week though, but sometime's it's really rough. Thanks for your comment though, you pretty much echo everything my family and pastors have said.

I haven't had a really strong attraction to a girl since the start of last year. Since then there have been two girls I've been moderately attracted to. I just mean I don't feel any desire to go to a party and make out, have sex with, or even grind on a random girl. I feel like it's degrading to both of us and there is no point without an emotional connection. I just feel like as a guy I am getting all the messages that I should push for as much as I can get with any girl that's willing.

Good to know that I am not the only 19 year old guy out there with a lower sexual desire out there. I guess I won't know truly how I feel about sex until I truly love someone/am committed to them.
 
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SnowyMacie

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I actually have made an appointment with a psychologist for Tuesday. Hoping to straighten all that nonsense out. I've had a really good week though, but sometime's it's really rough. Thanks for your comment though, you pretty much echo everything my family and pastors have said.

I haven't had a really strong attraction to a girl since the start of last year. Since then there have been two girls I've been moderately attracted to. I just mean I don't feel any desire to go to a party and make out, have sex with, or even grind on a random girl. I feel like it's degrading to both of us and there is no point without an emotional connection. I just feel like as a guy I am getting all the messages that I should push for as much as I can get with any girl that's willing.

Good to know that I am not the only 19 year old guy out there with a lower sexual desire out there. I guess I won't know truly how I feel about sex until I truly love someone/am committed to them.

Start of last year, as in 2010? That's nothing. I've had one strong attraction go beyond that in almost three years now.

I am wondered if I am gay before, but the thought goes away the next I see a beautiful girl either in person or in my head.
 
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simonsays89

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Wow, thanks Matt. It's really good to hear I am not alone... I guess the real distinguishing factor between us is that my weaker attractions cause me to be gripped with fear and wonder "What if..." ; I'm really starting to pray about this and am hoping that the psychologist will give me good perspective to sort myself out again.
 
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