Should I block my In-laws

[Timahani]

Hello Everyone,

I hope your day is going well. I am recently married, but I have been estranged

from my in-laws due to their toxic and outright demonic behavior. In

addition,my husband has also kept his relationship with them highly superficial.

I had not spoken to them in almost 4 years.

One day his sister was acting a fool and he explained to her that he would like to

Keep them and I separate. He also told them that the psychologist did not recommend

That they see their nieces or nephews due to the high level of toxicity and hate towards

Me. Well, they had never ever attempted to get to know me or to welcome me. All of a

Sudden, I received a bunch of messages from the sister and the mother asking for

Forgiveness. Mind you, never had the desire to talk to me for 4 years until they found out

that a boundary was being built. I accepted their apology, because they stated that

they “wanted to get right with God”. Although, I accepted the apology, I was also

aware that the ONLY reason that they wanted to apologize was because they

wanted a relationship my husband and my future children;not with me.

I am aware of this because just last week they brought a DEMONIZED SO-CALLED

pastor to the house” that bully and insulted my husband and I for 2 hours ( I was not

present).She literally called my husband STUPID, she said that his relationship

is FAKE, that Has made one of the “DUMBEST” mistakes of his life for dating me

etc. There were other horrible insults that I CANNOT say on Christian forums.

The words that she used were much more horrible than these. To keep short,

after they apologized I told them how those words were very insulting and

unnecessary. The completely did not care. They completely gaslighted the

situation. They stated that the had nothing to with this pastors opinion. I called

them out. I stated that there was no way that a pastor never met me , who

lives in another country, knows all of my business. When I told them that those

insults are unbecoming of a pastor and should never be said about their son

or I. The sister told me that “ We are not going to talk about it”. She did not

. So, I sent a message telling them that The conversation has now been

finalized. I forgive them, but I need to move forward. I have no interest in talki

ng to them. I am under alot of stress and speaking to them makes

me feel emotionally unstable.

Should I block them? Is this wrong. Was I wrong for opening the door to accept their

apology. My husband states that I should have NEVER answered them at all because he

doesn’t! I just thought That I was doing the right thing because they were asking for

forgiveness. That doesnt mean that I am going to trust them.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

you meant well, but they are toxic. You can forgive but don't let them hurt you again. Find a way for you and your husband to agree that speaking to them is no longer healthy. Then block them and explain it is by their own doing you had to reach this conclusion. You need space let them down easy but do not budge stand firm if they try the same move of apology again as you now know it will only lead to the same events transpiring.

In short forgive but yet block them. And stand firm with your husband in that decision. They are toxic and letting them back will make things worse.

 

[tturt]

would follow husband's ideas on the matter.

 

[Trusting in Him]

I can see how this must be a very difficult and hurtful situation. I also cannot see any justification for them to be bringing a paster with them to what is a privite family matter. I'm not sure that their motives were entirely honest. Sometimes, we are faced with situations where we cannot win and it is necessary to walk away from situations where our good intentions are only treated as a opportunity to attack us and to cause us hurt. I don't think that you are under any obligation to have anything to do with those who treat you like this. This is a private matter between you, your husband and the Lord. Your instincts to avoid contact with them seem to make good sense. I think that you are uncertain about how to handle this and need the Lords guidance, so that you will not be doubting where you have done the right thing. Take this situation to the Lord in pray and see how He leads you.

I think you are clearly looking to do right as those who want to honour the Lord, but I also think that you need closure regarding this problem. In view their "outright demonic behaviour", I would not allow them any access to you childrem whatsoever. You have the right and responsibility to determine how your children are bought up and to exclude any divisive and harmful influences. Do you have any close Christian friends who will pray for you and support you through this very oppresive situation? I also think that you need to have wisdom about what you decide to tell your children about this and what to withold. You are obviously under stress about this and your children will sense that you are troubled about something and your children need to grow up feeling safe and loved. This may be a very unpredicatable situation so be on you guard.

 

[Timahani]

Thanks to each of you for your words. They were truly helpful. I gently told them that I wanted to "FINALIZE" conversation. Despite that, the mom continued to write to me first thing in the morning after the final message. I wish I could treat them humanely;however, I know that when the shoes were on the other foot especially last week; they showed me no mercy. The mom called me horrific names to my face. Has sent me demeaning text even after 3 years of me NOT SPEAKING to her at all.
I should have kept them BLOCKED and never conversated with them. Even speaking to them, has upset my spirit. This is a lesson and also a warning from the Lord. When a situation does not give you peace and causes you mental pain it is time to simply let go and "LET God". Thank you . I will not be interacting with this family under any circumstances. Thank you all again! God Bless u.