Shortest time to plan a wedding?

[FaithfulServant]

What do you think is the shortest time you can have to plan a medium wedding (like i dont know, 200 people) and still having:

photographer
videographer
caterer
cake
dress
bridesmaid dresses
grooms men tuxes
location
honeymoon

I hear about people getting engaged and then getting married in 2 months but is that really even possible to do and still have all of those things listed above?

I hear horror stories about bridesmaid dresses and how they take FOREVER.

So totally out of curiosity, back to the original question, how long does it take to plan?

 

[PurpleBunny]

If your bridesmaids are easy to size and can buy dresses off the rack, if you can get your dress off the rack, and if you luck out and are able to get all of the above for the same day on short notice, it can definitely be done in as little as six weeks. It's easier and more likely if you get married on a day other than Saturday.

My boss got married in Korea, 500 people or something like that, after a three-week engagement.

 

[Glorianna]

It can be stressful trying to plan a wedding in such a short period of time though. That's what I'm going to have to do since I'll be having my wedding in South Carolina and I live in British Columbia. I won't be able to move to South Carolina until a couple of months before the wedding, if even that much, so I won't really be able to start planning until then.

 

[Singin4Him]

I wouldn't advise it at all. You certainly couldn't do this during "wedding season" because you will not be able to find a photographer, caterer, videographer, location....etc but especially those top four. Maybe during the fall and winter month it wouldn't be as tough but it still would be tough. Not to mention if you have any out of town guests it would not be very practical considerate of them, most likely they wouldn't be able to attend as most people can't ask off work or have money to travel at the drop of a hat.

Why rush an engagement? I mean I understand 5 months or something but 2 is a short amount of time to even prepare for marriage. Engagement is nothing like dating, it's a whole nother aspect of relationship and I strongly encourage engaged couples to take a little time to go to premarital counseling, premarriage classes many churches offer, and do whatever else you can to prepare for your lives together. It's not something to jump into at all. Making the transistion from dating to marriage isn't generally a smooth one no matter how much you love one another and desire to be with one another forever.

 

[FaithfulServant]

I wouldn't advise it at all. You certainly couldn't do this during "wedding season" because you will not be able to find a photographer, caterer, videographer, location....etc but especially those top four. Maybe during the fall and winter month it wouldn't be as tough but it still would be tough. Not to mention if you have any out of town guests it would not be very practical considerate of them, most likely they wouldn't be able to attend as most people can't ask off work or have money to travel at the drop of a hat.

Why rush an engagement? I mean I understand 5 months or something but 2 is a short amount of time to even prepare for marriage. Engagement is nothing like dating, it's a whole nother aspect of relationship and I strongly encourage engaged couples to take a little time to go to premarital counseling, premarriage classes many churches offer, and do whatever else you can to prepare for your lives together. It's not something to jump into at all. Making the transistion from dating to marriage isn't generally a smooth one no matter how much you love one another and desire to be with one another forever.

Personally, I don't believe its necessary to have a long engagement. Many wonderful couples at my church had very very short engagements and say they wouldn't have had it any other way. Counseling, lots of planning, etc is not necessaryfor a happy wedding day or a happy marriage.

But that doesn't mean I am against longer engagements, I think its great to have time to plan everything out! Sometimes people have extenuating circumstances, which don't allow long engagements, whether it be because of school, military, location changes, or whatever. I was just curious if those kind of people can actually plan wedding that include some of the things I listed in the OP It sure seems like they can!

 

[FaithfulServant]

It can be stressful trying to plan a wedding in such a short period of time though. That's what I'm going to have to do since I'll be having my wedding in South Carolina and I live in British Columbia. I won't be able to move to South Carolina until a couple of months before the wedding, if even that much, so I won't really be able to start planning until then.

Awww, theres no way you can contact them and set it up earlier and just wire them the money?

 

[PurpleBunny]

Personally, I don't believe its necessary to have a long engagement. Many wonderful couples at my church had very very short engagements and say they wouldn't have had it any other way. Counseling, lots of planning, etc is not necessaryfor a happy wedding day or a happy marriage.

While counselling isn't necessary, with Christian counselling the divorce rate drops from 50% to less than 10%.

But anyway, I do think that things can be done quickly as well. It all depends on what areas you're willing to be flexible.

 

[invisiblebabe]

My fiance and I got officially engaged in April... though we were technically engaged since about February but didn't have the ring yet. Anyhow, in April, we decided to move the wedding up from June 2006 to August 2005, for various reasons. So, we essentially had/have four months to plan it all out.

Here's how we're doing:
Dress: check, still needs to be altered
Accessories w/dress: check
Rings: check
Bridesmaids: check, 2 dresses bought, 2 to go
Runner, bouquets, and decorations: check
Church booked: check
Hall booked: we have a backup booked, but we want to find a different one and are doing that tomorrow
Guest list: check
Invitations: working on them, have a template made
Premarital counseling: check, about halfway through now
Honeymoon: working on it
Place to live: check, lease signed

 

[Singin4Him]

Personally, I don't believe its necessary to have a long engagement. Many wonderful couples at my church had very very short engagements and say they wouldn't have had it any other way. Counseling, lots of planning, etc is not necessaryfor a happy wedding day or a happy marriage.

But that doesn't mean I am against longer engagements, I think its great to have time to plan everything out! Sometimes people have extenuating circumstances, which don't allow long engagements, whether it be because of school, military, location changes, or whatever. I was just curious if those kind of people can actually plan wedding that include some of the things I listed in the OP It sure seems like they can!

I don't consider 5 months a long engagement and I don't think many others do either, that is a very good amount of short time. It sees to me you are really focusing on the "wedding" rather than the "marriage" and take it from one who has been married for a year now, if you don't focus and prepare for the marriage you will truly wish you did. You said counseling is not necessary for a happy marriage, then I guess you know all about marriage so you might as well get married tomorrow .

In all seriousness though, first off most ministers will not marry a couple without giving them premarital counseling first and secondly it is IMO almost vital for young couples to have some sort of premarital counseling, you NEED that to give you ideas on how to deal with certain issues that arise in marriage. It is said that the first year is the toughest year in marriage and because the divorce rate is so high and highest in those who get married before the age of 25 it is a good idea to get some form of advice and direction about marriage. My husband and I went to many different forms of premarital counseling from counseling with our pastor to premarital classes called "Before you say I do" and those things have without a doubt saved us from some major blow outs when issues came up that we did not know how to resolve, or when we had issues regarding in-laws...etc. You can never EVER be to prepared especially as I said with the divorce rate being on such a rise, why not prepare yourselves? Could it be that the divorce rate is on such a rise because these people had the same mind set as you thinking "premarital counseling is not necessary"? Whatever time you have please take that to get some form of premarital counseling.

Btw, no one is going to tell you "you're to young" or "you shouldn't get married" if you're afraid to go for that reason.

 

[FaithfulServant]

I don't consider 5 months a long engagement and I don't think many others do either, that is a very good amount of short time. It sees to me you are really focusing on the "wedding" rather than the "marriage" and take it from one who has been married for a year now, if you don't focus and prepare for the marriage you will truly wish you did. You said counseling is not necessary for a happy marriage, then I guess you know all about marriage so you might as well get married tomorrow .

In all seriousness though, first off most ministers will not marry a couple without giving them premarital counseling first and secondly it is IMO almost vital for young couples to have some sort of premarital counseling, you NEED that to give you ideas on how to deal with certain issues that arise in marriage. It is said that the first year is the toughest year in marriage and because the divorce rate is so high and highest in those who get married before the age of 25 it is a good idea to get some form of advice and direction about marriage. My husband and I went to many different forms of premarital counseling from counseling with our pastor to premarital classes called "Before you say I do" and those things have without a doubt saved us from some major blow outs when issues came up that we did not know how to resolve, or when we had issues regarding in-laws...etc. You can never EVER be to prepared especially as I said with the divorce rate being on such a rise, why not prepare yourselves? Could it be that the divorce rate is on such a rise because these people had the same mind set as you thinking "premarital counseling is not necessary"? Whatever time you have please take that to get some form of premarital counseling.

Btw, no one is going to tell you "you're to young" or "you shouldn't get married" if you're afraid to go for that reason.

I never said I considerd 5 months a long engagement, thats a short to medium one in my opinion.

I am not "focusing on the wedding", I'm not even engaged, I was just curiously asking some questions. I know my parents were engaged for about a month, and I was wondering how other couples managed to do it also! I'm not planning on having a short engagement, once again, I was just wondering!
the counseling thing is not that big a deal. I think it is wise to seek advice from elder/pastors, but it is not biblical to have to "go through a 3 month premarital counseling class" or whatever. If you want to go through some class or talk to some therapist, then great, Im sure God can work through that! God doesn't have the same plan for everybody! My parents just celebrated their 20 year aniversary and they never recieved counseling, and they have had a blessed, happy marriage.
I think taking one of those classes through a church would be great, it sounds like it would touch a lot of good issues that would be helpful later!

 

[Singin4Him]

I never said I considerd 5 months a long engagement, thats a short to medium one in my opinion.

I am not "focusing on the wedding", I'm not even engaged, I was just curiously asking some questions. I know my parents were engaged for about a month, and I was wondering how other couples managed to do it also! I'm not planning on having a short engagement, once again, I was just wondering!
the counseling thing is not that big a deal. I think it is wise to seek advice from elder/pastors, but it is not biblical to have to "go through a 3 month premarital counseling class" or whatever. If you want to go through some class or talk to some therapist, then great, Im sure God can work through that! God doesn't have the same plan for everybody! My parents just celebrated their 20 year aniversary and they never recieved counseling, and they have had a blessed, happy marriage.
I think taking one of those classes through a church would be great, it sounds like it would touch a lot of good issues that would be helpful later!

My point wasn't that a marriage cannot make it without premarital counseling, my parents have been married for 22 years now and they did not have it either, other than the first 3 years of their marriage they were Christians and at one point when they were both serving in ministry and very strong in the Lord satan attacked and they went through a very rough time and seperated for a short amount of time but went through much counseling with our pastor and have been an amazing couple for the Lord since.

When I got engaged they strongly encouraged premarital counseling for us, they felt that if they would have had these things they might have dealt with the rough spots in a much better way and it would not have resulted in the way it did. Please don't misunderstand me I am NOT talking about a therapist lol or even a physchologist because I don't trust many of those, even Christians marriage counseling can be kinda wacko. I'm merely talking about the typical premarital counseling with the minister who will be marrying you, as well as maybe getting an older couple in your church to mentor the two of you...etc. All church associated things basically. The reason I responded to your last post is because I am very concerned that no only you but other young couples do not feel getting wise counsel and advice from those who have been there is very important and it is biblical. There is such a "love will get us through" mindset in young couples, a few friends of mine who were recently married felt this way as well when they were engaged and 2 out of the 3 of them are having marital troubles.

Basically what I'm saying is, be realistic about it. You will have issues and conflict so why not get advice on how to deal with these things in the right way?

 

[Hope_0004]

Awww, theres no way you can contact them and set it up earlier and just wire them the money?

Yeah, I'd think there were lots of alternatives, especially via the Internet, to get started.

 

[PurpleBunny]

the counseling thing is not that big a deal. I think it is wise to seek advice from elder/pastors, but it is not biblical to have to "go through a 3 month premarital counseling class" or whatever.

(snip)

I think taking one of those classes through a church would be great, it sounds like it would touch a lot of good issues that would be helpful later!

Common sense is Biblical, though... and with the divorce rate the way it is, doing premarital counselling is certainly common sense!

But it sounds like you're aware of that as well. When Chris and I took it we touched on: the nature of love, the definition of marriage, expectations, goals, finances, communication, conflict resolution, dealing with in-laws, sex (albeit only about 30 seconds worth of discussion and then a very strong suggestion that if we're sexually active, we should stop until the wedding--sounded like Pastor says the same thing to every couple he counsels), and spiritual leadership. The whole thing took about 7 weeks, but it could probably be accelerated for a short engagement (to get back on topic, LOL).

 

[FaithfulServant]

Common sense is Biblical, though... and with the divorce rate the way it is, doing premarital counselling is certainly common sense!

But it sounds like you're aware of that as well. When Chris and I took it we touched on: the nature of love, the definition of marriage, expectations, goals, finances, communication, conflict resolution, dealing with in-laws, sex (albeit only about 30 seconds worth of discussion and then a very strong suggestion that if we're sexually active, we should stop until the wedding--sounded like Pastor says the same thing to every couple he counsels), and spiritual leadership. The whole thing took about 7 weeks, but it could probably be accelerated for a short engagement (to get back on topic, LOL).

Haha, I know since I don't believe in divorce somehow I think it'll never happen but I know no one plans on getting divorced when they get married, it just happens

Those topics sound very helpful. I go to a very small church that doesn't offer private classes or anything like that but maybe if I ever get engaged Ill look to an older married couple.

 

[FaithfulServant]

Glorianna,

I found this online, I hope its helpful to you.

Six Weeks

• Set budget
• Draw up guest list
• Choose two possible dates
• Start scouting sites
• Call vendors and set up appointments to meet with them
• Shop for a dress -- and buy, rent or borrow one ASAP
• Spread the word (let guests know your wedding date so that they can save the date and start to make travel plans)

Five Weeks

• Nail down a site for both ceremony and reception Book all your wedding professionals
• Caterer
• Band
• Photographer
• Videographer
• Officiant
• Order invitations that can be done in one week (you may need to pay a "rush" fee)
• Order rings
• Arrange accommodations (reserve blocks of rooms, call friends with guest rooms, and so on) for out-of-town guests
• Book honeymoon (with such limited time, you may want to just book a long weekend somewhere nearby, then plan a more leisurely vacation at a later date)

Four Weeks

• Register for gifts
• Address and mail invitations
• Choose bridesmaids' dresses (right off-the-rack attire is best; check department stores or just pick a color and let them wear what they want)
• Have your fiance and his groomsmen buy or reserve their tuxedos or suits
• Meet with your officiant to plan the ceremony
• Reserve wedding-day transportation
• Research marriage license requirements at your County Clerk or City Hall's office (how long it takes to get, when it expires, if you need a blood test, etc.)

Three Weeks

• Buy your accessories: headpiece, shoes, jewelry and so on
• Get your hair trimmed or cut, if necessary
• Book a hair stylist and makeup artist for your wedding day, if desired

Two Weeks

• Meet with your caterer or reception site banquet manager to taste the food and plan your menu
• Choose a first dance song
• Give the band leader or DJ your "dos and don'ts" list of musical requests

One Week

• Contact any guests who haven't RSVP'd
• Send final headcount to caterer
• Make reception seating arrangements
• Pack for your honeymoon
• Have a final dress fitting

Three Days

• Pick up dress, rings and marriage license
• Find something old, borrowed and blue (forget the sixpence)
• Call to confirm vendors (a good task to delegate to someone else)
• Check your accessories: Do you have everything you need?

One Day

• Get manicure
• Set out everything you need for the next day
• Forget about anything that didn't get done
• Go enjoy your rehearsal dinner
• Try to get a good night's sleep

Wedding Day

• Exercise, get a massage, meditate, pray or do something equally energizing yet relaxing
• Eat a carbohydrate-plus-protein meal - but don't overdo the caffeine
• Put in contact lenses before getting makeup done (wait until after your hair appointment if possible though - all that hairspray may aggravate your eyes)
• Show up on time for hair and makeup appointments
• Get dressed (remember to use the bathroom first)
• Switch engagement ring to your right hand
• Share a private moment with your fiancé
• Give your parents hugs before everything gets too crazy
• Spend a moment alone to calm down before the ceremony
• Take a look at yourself in the mirror - and smile
• Have fun!

 

[PurpleBunny]

Wow, that's an impressively fast timeline!

I would go crazy trying to plan things that fast.

Glorianna, the thing to do is to start as much as you can as soon as you start the K-1 visa application process. There are a lot of things that can be bought ahead of time, such as the dress & attire, rings, decorations, anything that isn't time sensitive basically. You can even buy the invites ahead of time and just print them yourselves (they make really nice ones these days). You can set the date tentatively and plan around that schedule... and then, once the visa is approved, you can shortlist your vendor preferences via email, and then meet with them the first week you're there and book everything all at once ... and if you're planning a frugal wedding there's even fewer things to book!

 

[Pope Gonzo]

The biggest questions about the amount of time needed for questions are: 1)do you live in a populous area? and 2)what time of year are you wanting to get married?

If you live in or around basically any city (basically, in a non-rural county) and you want a June wedding in a major location in New York City, you'll need 2 years (that might be exadurating... but I've heard worse).

We're getting married in July in a suburb of Milwaukee, and we're going to have 200-225 guests at our reception, and we planned everything in eleven months. We had plenty of room to spare as far as the photographer and even DJ, but for the reception hall and church, we had to dance around a little

As far as counseling goes: the world is a much different place than it was 20 years ago. While a lot of it you may have covered, odds are it will be VERY beneficial.

 

[charligirl]

It totally depends how flexible you are. I had 16 weeks to plan my wedding, I actually did most of it in t2 weeks. I couldn't have my first choice of venue for reception and had to buy a dress off the peg and get it altered etc... if I had been rigid on such things I would have needed months to do it.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

It depends what you want too.

Weddings can EASILY be planned in one day, if necessary. It's all the additional things people request that often mean a bit of time in between proposal and wedding day. Like a dress - sometimes they need 6 months for it to be designed and created!

What makes a wedding 'real' though, can take one day - easy!

Legal things can cause a delay to - in Australia, a wedding that can be classified as 'legal' can occur one month and one day after the proposal. I'd love to be able to do that!

We're having all the trimmings, and were planning to have a 3 month engagement. Some things have occurred though that mean we may need to get engaged soon-ish, and then our engagement will be about 9 months.

Sasch

 

[Glorianna]

Awww, theres no way you can contact them and set it up earlier and just wire them the money?

Not when our fiance visa's not approved yet! We have to wait for our fiance visa to be approved so that we know for sure when we can get married. I don't want to pay for photographers, etc. and then find out that we can't get married when we want to!