Ok, folks...I posted this on a secular dating forum and got some wide ranging opinions, I just thought it would be nice to get the perspective of Christians as well 
"Well, I had a third date with a girl tonight. I took her downtown for a horse and carriage ride (I brought hot chocolate), then we went to the grocery store and got some stuff for dinner before going back to my place to cook it. Everything went fine, we have great conversation and laugh at everything. Before dinner I got out my acoustic guitar and sang her her favorite Christmas song (she'd mentioned this last week). After dinner during the movie we were sitting on the couch and I wanted to put my arm around her. I like this girl, so I want to be closer to her.
Earlier in the night we'd watched a Simpsons episode where somebody yawns and puts their arm around a girl in a comical way. Eventually I did this too, in a joking way but putting my arm around her for real. She was leaning kind of away from me so I really couldn't do it. I took my arm back and said "well, I guess I can't do it unless you get a little closer". She stayed exactly where she was. I couldn't believe that three dates in she wasn't even interested in such an innocuous sign of affection. I've made it very clear to her that I wasn't the kind of guy to grope her, and I had actually already put my arm around her on a previous date.
Well after the movie was over I brought this up because it bothered me, I told her it sends me signals that she's not attracted to me at all. She tells me nobody has ever tried to put their arm around her before, despite her having more relationship experience than I have had, including at least one that was sexual. I didn't understand how she couldn't have a guy try to do this. She told me that she did want me to do it, but after all this she still stays exactly where she is and moves no closer or makes any sign of affection! I'm a guy so I don't mind initiating but I won't force myself on anyone.
Flash forward to the end of the date. I take her home, (I drove both ways picking her up and dropping her off at her home 40+ miles away), and went to kiss her on the cheek when hugging her goodnight...she gave me the ear! Turning the cheek when you don't want to kiss a guy on the mouth I've heard of, but going so far as to deny even the cheek??? She started to say "don't try to kiss me..." and I told her I was trying to kiss her cheek, at which point she says "ohhh that's ok" but I was already walking away.
I just couldn't believe how much effort I've put in to make this girl feel special and she treats me like I have some kind of skin disease when it comes to physical affection, and minute innocent amounts of physical affection at that! She says she is attracted to me but her body language keeps telling me otherwise. What is going on here? As an aside, she's told me she prefers to wait to kiss a guy (on the mouth) until the 4th or 5th date."
Alright, so am I really moving too fast or what's going on there? We are both committed to abstinence before marriage, at least in this relationship, but it's so strange to me that a girl who was actually attracted to me would be so stingy with her affections. I'm beginning to suspect that she's just dating me to have a good time, and doesn't have any romantic inclinations to me at all
"Well, I had a third date with a girl tonight. I took her downtown for a horse and carriage ride (I brought hot chocolate), then we went to the grocery store and got some stuff for dinner before going back to my place to cook it. Everything went fine, we have great conversation and laugh at everything. Before dinner I got out my acoustic guitar and sang her her favorite Christmas song (she'd mentioned this last week). After dinner during the movie we were sitting on the couch and I wanted to put my arm around her. I like this girl, so I want to be closer to her.
Earlier in the night we'd watched a Simpsons episode where somebody yawns and puts their arm around a girl in a comical way. Eventually I did this too, in a joking way but putting my arm around her for real. She was leaning kind of away from me so I really couldn't do it. I took my arm back and said "well, I guess I can't do it unless you get a little closer". She stayed exactly where she was. I couldn't believe that three dates in she wasn't even interested in such an innocuous sign of affection. I've made it very clear to her that I wasn't the kind of guy to grope her, and I had actually already put my arm around her on a previous date.
Well after the movie was over I brought this up because it bothered me, I told her it sends me signals that she's not attracted to me at all. She tells me nobody has ever tried to put their arm around her before, despite her having more relationship experience than I have had, including at least one that was sexual. I didn't understand how she couldn't have a guy try to do this. She told me that she did want me to do it, but after all this she still stays exactly where she is and moves no closer or makes any sign of affection! I'm a guy so I don't mind initiating but I won't force myself on anyone.
Flash forward to the end of the date. I take her home, (I drove both ways picking her up and dropping her off at her home 40+ miles away), and went to kiss her on the cheek when hugging her goodnight...she gave me the ear! Turning the cheek when you don't want to kiss a guy on the mouth I've heard of, but going so far as to deny even the cheek??? She started to say "don't try to kiss me..." and I told her I was trying to kiss her cheek, at which point she says "ohhh that's ok" but I was already walking away.
I just couldn't believe how much effort I've put in to make this girl feel special and she treats me like I have some kind of skin disease when it comes to physical affection, and minute innocent amounts of physical affection at that! She says she is attracted to me but her body language keeps telling me otherwise. What is going on here? As an aside, she's told me she prefers to wait to kiss a guy (on the mouth) until the 4th or 5th date."
Alright, so am I really moving too fast or what's going on there? We are both committed to abstinence before marriage, at least in this relationship, but it's so strange to me that a girl who was actually attracted to me would be so stingy with her affections. I'm beginning to suspect that she's just dating me to have a good time, and doesn't have any romantic inclinations to me at all
