She's in love with another man.

[Mountainmanbob]

And I would DEFINITELY give the guy a piece of my mind and tell him to NEVER contact her again...

It would be hard not to, "tell him how it really is."

Plus, it seems that the Church should send him away with his walking papers.
Pastors and Elders are suppose to be watching for these situations (and act fast).
MB

 

[puregrl]

How? Who does he fight?

She wasn't kidnapped against her will. She willingly violated vows and was deceitful.

I have heard woman say this before and I don't understand it. If a woman wants to feel closer to her man, be closer to your man. Why run away just to be chased?

By pursing me. If he feels some other guy is trying something...which would not happen...I would want him to step in. Because he is my husband and should be continually pursuing me, and I him, until the day we die. Pursuing is not the same as fighting. It is childish to run away in order to be chased. You can however be pushed away.

 

[381465]

By pursing me. If he feels some other guy is trying something...which would not happen...I would want him to step in. Because he is my husband and should be continually pursuing me, and I him, until the day we die. Pursuing is not the same as fighting. It is childish to run away in order to be chased. You can however be pushed away.

That sounds different than what the OP described. He found her affectionate/sexual correspondence to the other man. That's not another man making unwanted advances.
I would discourage any man from making unwanted advances toward my wife.
It sounds like woman chases other man while husband chases woman. That would be pointless.
Maybe I misread something.

 

[puregrl]

That sounds different than what the OP described. He found her affectionate/sexual correspondence to the other man. That's not another man making unwanted advances.
I would discourage any man from making unwanted advances toward my wife.
It sounds like woman chases other man while husband chases woman. That would be pointless.
Maybe I misread something.

correct. I was answering the question of should he confront the guy.

 

[381465]

correct. I was answering the question of should he confront the guy.

OK, so I did read it right.

Yeah, I can't see confronting the object of my wife's desires. If she was acting like a trollop, it's more on her than the guy she's got the warmies for.

 

[puregrl]

OK, so I did read it right.

Yeah, I can't see confronting the object of my wife's desires. If she was acting like a trollop, it's more on her than the guy she's got the warmies for.

You also have to ask the question of why they found someone else interesting enough to pursue. Is it something in her DNA that just makes her not be satisfied in a monogamous relationship? Did she grow tired of the current relationship? Was something she needed not being fulfilled? A person cannot make a judgement call after only seeing one side of the picture. A relationship is always about two people, as is the issues they face.

If the other person knew of her being in a committed relationship, they should not have let the pursuit happen...but ended it as soon as they knew a line was being crossed. Therefore, it can be just as much the other persons fault as it is theirs. If, however, she is pursuing without warrant than it is on her and she needs to discover why she is doing it.

 

[oreosprinkles]

I've struggled writing this a few times so please bear with me. The love of my life is in love with another man.

We have been married for 23 years and have four kids. The marriage has been pleasant, although we have had some rocky times. It's been a good marriage with a lot to show for it there's no question about that. Anyway, there is a recovering alcoholic who has started attending services.

He lost his home and his wife due to bad choices, so he has wanted to turn his life around. He started growing closer with members that attend our church, I noticed my wife seemed to fancy him. There was a church BBQ where I overheard my wife talking to him. He was speaking about maybe getting back in the dating scene. Wife responded with "With a handsome face like yours, women will be practically drooling over you" I talked to her about it (this happened 6 months ago) she said he was just trying to spirits up.

Anything they have grown increasingly closer, so much so that others have mentioned them becoming good friends. Well just yesterday she left her email logined and Im sorry for doing this but I snooped. Found a love letter sent from her that was meant for him. The message contained I love yous and you're so amazing/ the light of my life. Calling him her true love and and that he's so handsome. Very high schooly/raunchy and some graphic sexual filled messages.

I have talked to her. Yet she is denying an affair with this man, but has now admitted that she's had an inappropriate relationship with him, but nothing physical has happened. Can I really believe that? My world feels destroyed and I feel like I have failed. Do I need to confront him?

I'm not going to sit and act like I have been this religious man throughout my life. We just started going to church more often within this year. Thought it would maybe good for us. Although all it has done is pushed my wife into another mans arms. Of course that isn't the church's fault though.

First of all I am praying for you. Secondly, if you still love her and don't want to throw the marriage away, have a serious conversation. Ask her if she wants this fixed or if she wants the other man. It isn't your fault, and liars are hard to deal with. If she wants to fix it have an open heart. If she doesn't, I would talk to your pastor about it and then maybe get a divorce. Jesus said divorce isn't okay, unless someone has commuted adultery or immoral sexual sins. It's obvious they have had sex and she's lying. I would just talk. And then pray. It's your choice. Just remember to consult god