Sheep dream

[Janet842]

This is a dream I had in the fall of 1983.

Scene 1

There is a lush green pasture with a small flock of sheep. Of them, I was the lead sheep. The flock had to leave that pasture and go through a enemy village. We had to get through without being seen by the enemy who lived there and had to travel during the middle of the day. There was only one way through and that was dead center down through the middle of the village. The village was an uninhabited looking place of windowless, door-less plain block buildings. There were no sidewalks or streets, just rows of block buildings with short grass separating them. There was no one in sight. As we were walking through the middle of the village we were spotted (no visual on this) and I knew that for the flock to get through I would have to stay behind.

Scene 2

I was no longer in sheep form, but now a human being and in a very large room where I was at the front a long line of people, facing them. Their eyes all looked lifeless. They looked like the walking dead – no light in their eyes, only a dullness and death. In front of me was a huge vat filled with something that looked like porridge. All the people held empty plates in front of them and I was putting food on their plates as they walked by. But, the amount I was giving them wasn't enough to sustain them. I didn't understand why, with this huge vat of food, I was only able to give them only a small ladle's worth. I was sent out of this room into an adjoining room.

Scene 3

I didn't know why I was in this room or what I was supposed to do there. This room was not where the people I had been feeding went to eat their portion. I thought maybe I was supposed to clean off the tables, so I went over to one table and there was an oriental man sitting there. People in this place didn’t openly acknowledge their Christianity, but I could discern it in him. He talked to me about how powerful agreeing in prayer was. Then, a bunch of Gestapo-looking men ordered me back into the room full of lifeless, walking-dead people.

_________________________

What I know about this dream is that it runs "backwards". I figured that out when I was attending Roeh Israel (a Messianic Jewish congregation) and learned there that Hebrew is read from right to left. Learning that solved some of the mystery about this dream because though Scene 1 and Scene 2 are first in the dream, I experienced Scene 3 first – I met the oriental man in November of 1984, before any of the rest of the dream had happened.

I may be past Scene 2 and somewhere in Scene 1, but I fail to interpret, or understand, the meaning of Scene 1. Any ideas?

Thanks,

Janet

 

[Firewater]

Hi Janet,

Thanks for posting. It's very interesting that you have held onto this dream for around 27 years. I think this is significant in itself.

So do you see the dream as representing extended seasons in your life or shorter points in time that your life will thread through?

Could you elaborate more on what you have already connected the scenes with? Did you meet the oriental man in an oppressive context?

Keywords coming to mind are missions, leadership, protection, teaching & encouragement in a context of oppression of individuality & personal expression - light & life in the darkness.

 

[C8-@]

Janet

Can you clarify something for me please?

When you say you are now past scene 2 and somewhere in scene 3, is this in the order it is written above, or because the dream runs backwards do you mean you are now somewhere in scene 1 where 3=1 in reverse order?

 

[Janet842]

Wow, Firewater!! I think you nailed it with your keywords!! In answer to your questions, I would have to say the dream represents extended seasons – and I met the oriental man in a positive context.

The dream was so vivid and unusual that when I awoke from it I had no doubt it was from God. It was after realizing the dream runs "backwards" that I knew it was foretelling my life to come. It seems to be intended as more of a time line, possibly to be interpreted by sections within Scenes? Scene 1 is particularly puzzling for this reason.

This is my best guess so far.

SCENE 3 – I’m saved.
• I didn’t want to ever be a Christian and fought God to not become one. After becoming a Christian, it was very puzzling to me why I was part of the Body of Christ.
• I met Mark (the oriental man) and we became friends, interceding together in amazing agreement. (We met in a Burger King – the room with tables.)
• I leave this part of my life and go to where the unsaved are, but not to minister. (I was miraculously healed of multiple personalities and after that God sent me into 13 years of spiritual desert.)

SCENE 2 – I think this describes my spiritual desert.
• I quit attending church after everything "died" – I was cut off from experiencing the presence of the Holy Spirit during worship, the sermons became lifeless and dry to me, the Bible no longer spoke to me in any way and all my friends forgot I existed. The pain this loss caused me was so intense that I couldn't face it, so I quit going to church.
• I fought my spiritual desert for about 3 years before finally resigning myself to it. I didn’t understand why I was cut off and why I could no longer help people. I had once been part of our Ministry Team at church.

SCENE 1 – ????? – I have no idea.
Maybe I'm still in Scene 2 (at the end?) or in some part of Scene 1. Is the "adjoining room" part of Scene 2 or does that indicate going to Scene 3? I have yet to be a leader of a small flock. (I don't think gathering with a group of ladies during Sunday school to take prayer requests is it.) It seems Scene 1 may describe a period of trial and testing? I've been in a trial for two years now. #$%^#*!!! After that desert, I really was hoping to get a "pass" on trials for awhile. Ha! Will it ever end?

Could Scene 1 be a 3-section scene with 3 sections within it? Am I following the flock or leading it? Why is the village windowless/doorless? Why do I have to "stay behind" – or does that mean I'm waiting for sheep to join me? What a tough one to try to understand! But, there is the gift of interpreting dreams, so I have nothing to lose by throwing this out there!
______________________

Some miscellaneous info about me:
I became a Christian in June of 1982, two months before my 30th birthday. My entire spiritual foundation and experience of God was laid during a time of outpouring of the Holy Spirit (think Acts) at Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Denver – that revival went on for years. Wow, did that ever skew my view of God and Christianity from the normal Christian experience – which could be in part why I had to do 13 years of desert. I was freed from my spiritual desert in November of 2003 at an Episcopal church. During the 13 years of desert, I would find a church to visit about once a year (no particular denomination, just whatever caught my eye). I rightly thought that I would know when the desert was at an end at a church service.

Oh, and I only had one extra personality and it couldn't get out – don't think "Sybil" or "All About Eve". I wasn't like that. And I'm writing a book about my life.

 

[Janet842]

Janet

Can you clarify something for me please?

When you say you are now past scene 2 and somewhere in scene 3, is this in the order it is written above, or because the dream runs backwards do you mean you are now somewhere in scene 1 where 3=1 in reverse order?

Sorry, I confused myself!! I went back and fixed the Scene numbers. The Scenes should be in countdown order – 3, 2, 1.

And I guess I'm not so sure I'm in Scene 1 yet as I think about things. It's hard to tell. God really made this a tough one to figure out – maybe I'm not supposed to?

 

[Firewater]

Thanks, this helps.

Praise God for healing you & delivering you from the desert.

A tip in relation to the deserts & trials- There is always gems of God's grace in the midst of them. Find these jewels of His grace, focus on them & you can live in an oasis, even in the desert & trials.

The backwards concept is interesting. This was an amazing key the Lord gave you to understand the dream. I remember hearing someone say once that God sometimes reveals things from His side out. For example the 10 commandments start with Him & work out to treatment of people. Levitical offerings start with the burnt offering (more about righteousness) & work out to sin & trespass offerings, again related to people. Whereas we see sin needs to be taken care of before we get closer.

So your dream is like God's view from where He sits. What is closest to Him is your endpoint.

I think there's a lot of similarities between the lifeless/faceless people (Scene 2) & the city that has buildings without windows/doors etc (Scene 1b). Without doors there's no way out, without windows, there's no light in. I had been thinking this might have been an external environment thing, but it may be more related to the battle with the enemy in your mind. The dream has a kind of surreal flavour to it. Do you like surreal art?

There does seem to be a progression from scene 3 to scene 1. In scene 3 you are indoors in 1 to 1 communication. In scene 2, you are indoors with a group, & in 1b, you are in a village (outside but not in the "open") on your own. And in scene 1 you are in the open with a group.

It's like the individual salvation (scene1), coming out of the social oppression (scene 2 & 1b), into experiencing "social" salvation - more freedom in relationships with people (small flock of sheep) & there finding the richness of God (lush green pasture).

Something that may help you get closer to your endpoint in your heart (not physical life) is meditating on your end-point. This is the nature of faith - when we focus on something we become more like it. Looking at 1a (lush green pasture), I think of Psalm 23 & a big theme in this is peace of mind. I would recommend really chewing on Ps 23. I don't think it will ever go dry for you. See Jesus as your shepherd in that pasture. You can't see Him, but He is there & has been with you all the way.

I am reminded of the old adage, if life gives you a lemon, turn it into lemonade. And I've also heard people talk about the thing that we get free from becoming ministry to others. I see you leading others into freedom. I think your book is a big part of this.

 

[Janet842]

Love your gifting, Firewater! You brought up a lot of ideas that I had not considered and gave me a lot to ponder now.

The village has always been interesting to me in light of how people often say stuff like "when God closes a door, He opens a window" but here I have a situation with no doors, no windows. Maybe it means there is only one way to the end and that is a completely controlled path – I couldn't depart from it if I wanted to and neither can those with me? (I have to insert here that as a very new believer I gave God the right to violate my will whenever He pleased for my own good. He has done that – not a pleasant experience – but I have never taken that right back from Him. It is part of why I am well today.)

You are absolutely right about the battle in my mind. Whereas most people, after accepting the Lord, have to learn to discern between three voices – their own thoughts, God's voice and satanic voices – I had four to sort out. Despite being healed and now down to three voices like everyone else, my mind is still quite often a tremendous battle ground. (Maybe I am just more sensitive to that side of the spiritual realm because of my past.)

One last thing, I am now going to a Southern Baptist church LOL! The very last place I would ever have thought God would have put me because of their reputation for fear of emotionalism and fear of experiencing the Holy Spirit. That kind of contact with God is all I have ever known and all I hunger for daily. I long to be part of another outpouring of the Holy Spirit!

Thanks for your insights and I will spend some time with Psalm 23. If you get more revelations, I'd love to hear them!

Janet

 

[GaryP]

I see that you perceived that you were a leader of the sheep, as a ewe, you could not
lead, just follow, instead, you turned from the flock and went your own way. As the Shepard led the sheep to safety, you became caught up into creation. Only the Shepard
can lay down his life. You entered into the village of dead creation. They can never be
fed enough. You can not do it.
So instead of moving forward, you are looking backwards, Pillar of Salt mean anything?
I am one of the 3 voices, Pick which one.

Follow the Shepard.

 

[Janet842]

I see that you perceived that you were a leader of the sheep, as a ewe, you could not
lead, just follow, instead, you turned from the flock and went your own way. As the Shepard led the sheep to safety, you became caught up into creation. Only the Shepard
can lay down his life. You entered into the village of dead creation. They can never be
fed enough. You can not do it.
So instead of moving forward, you are looking backwards, Pillar of Salt mean anything?
I am one of the 3 voices, Pick which one.

Follow the Shepard.

I disagree with ALL of this.

There are a lot of dreams on here which come out of people's subconscious minds. This one did not. This entire dream was from God. I had nothing to do with anything that was being shown to me – it did not come out of my subconscious. Additionally, God acted in the here and now to reveal a necessary clue from the dream He sent so that I could begin to understand this dream and see He will and path for my future. This sort of supernatural revelation does not come of mortal man.

I am a devout believer. You are reading into this dream a lot of rebellion that does not exist. NEVER would I seek to usurp, rebel, control (etc., etc.) any of God's will, His people, His power (etc. etc.) You don't know me at all and you clearly have no gift in dream interpretation or knowledge of the supernatural ways in which God can and does reveal Himself in the lives of His people.

Please refrain from posting on my topic again.


Janet

 

[Janet842]

For anyone who would like to learn about lead sheep, please go to leadersheep

 

[razeontherock]

Hi Janet - glad you have met some of our gems here!! They may not be the majority, and we may need the ignore function, and none of us are perfect, BUT

at least we can follow the Lord w/o violating forum rules, unlike TH. I'll pray through your dream when I get the chance, and see if maybe He gives me anything. Looks interesting!

3 parts: faith, hope and charity, hhmmm ...

 

[GaryP]

So then why did you end up in the land of the dead? You can believe or twist this dream
any way you like, from God, not from God. The bottom line is you ended up in the land
of the dead?
So lets see you get out of the village of the damned. IF you are the leader sheep, Why did you lead the flock into the village in the first place.
So lets test it. Mark 15: 38. The Temple is torn open.
Go into the Temple.
In or Out. Leader sheep should know where to go.

 

[GaryP]

When you play with dreams you play with fire. As with gems, when you really get to
look into the dark side you will know what the battle is all about.
1 of 3 voices, your choice.

 

[razeontherock]

SCENE 1 – ????? – I have no idea.
Maybe I'm still in Scene 2 (at the end?)

I have yet to be a leader of a small flock. (I don't think gathering with a group of ladies during Sunday school to take prayer requests is it.)

Could Scene 1 be a 3-section scene with 3 sections within it?

Why do I have to "stay behind" – or does that mean I'm waiting for sheep to join me?

Wow Janet, this is classic deliverance from Egypt (scene 1) desert (scene 2) Promised Land (scene 3) The more you can learn about this story the more it will help you (and all of us) actually enter into His rest in this life. Don't discount that Sunday prayer group! Remember, the Lord looks on the HEART, and the widow's last mite comes into play here; Faithful in little, set over much. What are your giants? Who said they were beatable? What strategies were employed? (And i can tell you how they learned to play trumpet around Jericho - HA) If Israel had killed all the giants as commanded, David wouldn't have had to face Goliath.

So here's where you are:

"When ye see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests the Levites bearing it, then ye shall remove from your place, and go after it.
Joshua 3:4 Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure: come not near unto it, that ye may know the way by which ye must go: for ye have not passed [this] way heretofore.

 

[childofGod31]

This is a dream I had in the fall of 1983.

Scene 1

There is a lush green pasture with a small flock of sheep. Of them, I was the lead sheep. The flock had to leave that pasture and go through a enemy village. We had to get through without being seen by the enemy who lived there and had to travel during the middle of the day. There was only one way through and that was dead center down through the middle of the village. The village was an uninhabited looking place of windowless, door-less plain block buildings. There were no sidewalks or streets, just rows of block buildings with short grass separating them. There was no one in sight. As we were walking through the middle of the village we were spotted (no visual on this) and I knew that for the flock to get through I would have to stay behind.

Scene 2

I was no longer in sheep form, but now a human being and in a very large room where I was at the front a long line of people, facing them. Their eyes all looked lifeless. They looked like the walking dead – no light in their eyes, only a dullness and death. In front of me was a huge vat filled with something that looked like porridge. All the people held empty plates in front of them and I was putting food on their plates as they walked by. But, the amount I was giving them wasn't enough to sustain them. I didn't understand why, with this huge vat of food, I was only able to give them only a small ladle's worth. I was sent out of this room into an adjoining room.

Scene 3

I didn't know why I was in this room or what I was supposed to do there. This room was not where the people I had been feeding went to eat their portion. I thought maybe I was supposed to clean off the tables, so I went over to one table and there was an oriental man sitting there. People in this place didn’t openly acknowledge their Christianity, but I could discern it in him. He talked to me about how powerful agreeing in prayer was. Then, a bunch of Gestapo-looking men ordered me back into the room full of lifeless, walking-dead people.

_________________________

What I know about this dream is that it runs "backwards". I figured that out when I was attending Roeh Israel (a Messianic Jewish congregation) and learned there that Hebrew is read from right to left. Learning that solved some of the mystery about this dream because though Scene 1 and Scene 2 are first in the dream, I experienced Scene 3 first – I met the oriental man in November of 1984, before any of the rest of the dream had happened.

I may be past Scene 2 and somewhere in Scene 1, but I fail to interpret, or understand, the meaning of Scene 1. Any ideas?

Thanks,

Janet

Maybe people have a tendency to interpret dreams according to what they believe/know/going through. So because of the things I know, this dreams seems like the following to me:

Re: first one, where you have to go through the enemy camp, I am not sure either. But I did want to mention two things which seem relevant from the dream of somebody else and the game that he played.

He saw a dream where he had to go through the badlands with monsters (it was the only way to go). And he had to have a pass (license) in order to go through it. The people in charge did not want to give him a pass, but then he said that he was dying anyways (he had a flesh wound), they gave him a pass. (I interpret the dying and the flesh wound as "dying to self". So in order to pass through the bad lands of satan, one has to die to self.)

He also played a computer game which was very very unusual. I believe that God was trying to give a message through it. In a little part of it, it turned out that the enemies are NOT who we think they are. They are somebody people didn't expect to be their enemies (in other words, they concentrated on the wrong crowd, they considered the wrong crowd their enemies).

But once they discovered who their REAL enemies were, they also discovered that in order to get to the other side, (or to the sun), they had to pass right through the midst of the enemy camp. This was the only way that would lead to them being alive. The other (longer) ways would end up in their destruction.

So the verse: narrow way leads to life, comes to mind.

I suppose that the real enemy is satan and his demons (according to peolple's understanding) as opposed to the people being our enemies. And I suppose that in order to get close to God, we have to pass through what we see as tests, where the devil seems to attack us most. There is no other way. We have to be tested in the fire. (go in the midst of the enemy camp) and some have to sacrifice themselves in order to help others to make it.

The rich pasture: once you get close to God, you get plenty of spiritual food, you thrive spiritually. But, as I mentioned before, it also is a time to get tested in the fire.


Scene with the dead people, reminds of me Revelation verse, Jesus speaking to one of the churches: you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.

There is food in God, but the people overall don't get fed, they starve spiritually and are dying. They feed on men's understanding and teachings and traditions, which doesn't give life or sustenance. Food can only come from direct fellowship with God, which many Christians lack.


The scene with oriental man and the lack of Christianity mentioned: God is above religion. Unity in God is what matters. Love for people and love for God is what matters, not the denomination you belong to. People will be able to accomplish things for God only once they leave the divisions and understand that love of God is what unifies. Not the details of what you believe. Not the doctrines. But love for God from a pure heart.

 

[Janet842]

Did I do it? Did I break the record because I put someone (GaryP) on my ignore list after only 60 posts on CF? Bye, bye, Gary.

Wow Janet, this is classic deliverance from Egypt (scene 1) desert (scene 2) Promised Land (scene 3)

Ray, I know this numbering thing gets confusing, so I need to ask if you reversed the scene numbers here? Yes, no? Please clear that up for me. Promised Land is the green pasture (Scene 1), right?

Scene with the dead people, reminds of me Revelation verse, Jesus speaking to one of the churches: you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.

There is food in God, but the people overall don't get fed, they starve spiritually and are dying. They feed on men's understanding and teachings and traditions, which doesn't give life or sustenance. Food can only come from direct fellowship with God, which many Christians lack.

Every time I look at Scene 2, what I see illustrated is my inability (failure) to help others to the level they need. I see the vat of food as a wealth of spiritual gifts and provision for others that I can only barely access. (Which is what happened in my 13 years of spiritual desert. The gifts were there, but inoperative.) To some degree, it seems that I am still restricted in the use of spiritual gifts.

You have an interesting take on Scene 2, Child of God, especially in light of the fact that the predominant ministry I have had is not to unbelievers, but to the Body of Christ. I have always tried to help fearful Christians have the courage to enter into far richer relationships with God than they currently experience.

One thing I wonder about is if Scene 1 could have something to do with the book I'm writing? Could this scene be about the Lord using it to bring others with multiple personalities (and those who are unsaved) out of their conditions and into relationship with Himself? My heart's desire is to have people who read it yearn to know the God who can and will make His presence supernaturally known in their lives.

To almost everyone who has responded, posting my dream on here has been really awesome for me. I can only think that God is in this. Perhaps, as I spend more time with the different viewpoints posted here, I will come to understand this dream. For whatever reason, God chose to make it a challenging puzzle.

Janet

 

[razeontherock]

Did I do it? Did I break the record because I put someone (GaryP) on my ignore list after only 60 posts on CF? Bye, bye, Gary.

Nope! You might want to avoid the little place called soteriology
I'm not smart enough to have added him to mine though.

Promised Land is the green pasture (Scene 1), right?

and a and a few more of those too

Every time I look at Scene 2, what I see illustrated is my inability (failure) to help others to the level they need. I see the vat of food as a wealth of spiritual gifts and provision for others that I can only barely access.

See that word by my avatar? And I place this prominently because .. ?? My best practice sessions start ON MY FACE. No, not mpc to chops, FACE to FLOOR before the Lord, asking Him to teach me how to play this plumbing. Can you imagine HIM giving you a demonstration?!?

Yeah, show me how it's supposed to be done. THAT, my Dear Sister, is brokenness and humility. Which is what went into you writing this section that I snipped in that last quote there. OTOH, my worst practice sessions occur when I non-chalantly pick up my axe, confident everything's fine. :o

Have you found my 4th thread in here, titled "water pipe?" No? That's because I haven't posted it yet. It's EXACTLY the meaning of your vat. i need to post that up. Do read the other 2 that aren't hell though.



Notice the comparison to Joshua and Caleb's good report after spying out the Promised Land, not because of their own ability, as well as where David's confidence came from before Goliath. And that same principle is portrayed in that section of Joshua I quoted before, third chapter? Following behind the Ark of the Covenant by what, a space of 2,000 cubits?

This would appear to be a vital component of leaving the desert, crossing the Jordan, and entering the Promised Land. We have the very real warning we can wander in the desert til we die, or get into the Promised Land in 3 days if we prepare, and be strong and of a good courage.

I seen no in betweens.

BUT - -

the worst that happens is we go back to the desert, where there IS provision of Manna, pillar of fire by night cloud by day, shoes don't wear out etc etc. NOT what we yearn for though!

One thing I will credit GaryP for, is when there is a Door open to you, ENTER. He does have some revelation on one aspect of that, but what I am getting at here is if we don't go in that Great Shepherd of the sheep has a way of bringing us around in a great big circle until we come back to THAT SAME EXACT DOOR. So we might as well just go ahead and pass the test at our first opportunity.

I wish I was speaking from all positive experience here, but nope. In fact some 25 years ago Jesus let me know He wanted to come closer, and I don't just mean in a "closer walk with Thee" type thing either. And again, lately He's preparing me for a personal appearance. Would YOU have the nerve to lift your eyes up to behold Him? I don't know why the thought terrifies me, but what if His intent is to show up and demonstrate how to play this plumbing to me? Whatever it is, it can only be good, right?


Anyway enough rambling. So far, i see everything pertaining to this critical moment of "laboring to enter into that rest." Synonymous w/ flowing in the gifts, bearing fruit - - OVERCOMING.

One thing I wonder about is if Scene 1 could have something to do with the book I'm writing? Could this scene be about the Lord using it to bring others with multiple personalities (and those who are unsaved) out of their conditions and into relationship with Himself?

I have befriended one such STRONG believer on CF. Amazing Spiritual insight, yet the Lord is not yet ready to remove the multiples. Or I guess I should say the person is not yet ready to do w/o them. He has not been able to "see" Salvation as pertaining to this area. "Fileds white already unto the harvest." I can guarantee you his wife is ready for that healing ...

For whatever reason, God chose to make it a challenging puzzle.

Oh come on, be honest! You're a trumpet player, if it weren't challenging you'd have lost interest and walked away long ago

 

[Janet842]

I have befriended one such STRONG believer on CF. Amazing Spiritual insight, yet the Lord is not yet ready to remove the multiples. Or I guess I should say the person is not yet ready to do w/o them. He has not been able to "see" Salvation as pertaining to this area. "Fileds white already unto the harvest." I can guarantee you his wife is ready for that healing ...

When I learned I was a multiple, I told God I would pay any price that was asked of me to become well. I didn't care how much it would cost, or how much the process would hurt. All I wanted was to be well – to be normal.

Being healed of multiples for me is a VERY long process that has extended far past the moment of reintegration. God merged the two parts of me into one in 1985 and 3 1/2 years after that my 13 years of spiritual desert began. That separation wasn't just from the Body of Christ, God chose to be completely silent for those 13 years. The desert is where I went from the emotional level of a 6 year old to something more age appropriate (how does one rate levels of maturity at adulthood?). I learned to be human by being with non-believers and the hyper-spirituality that I developed through my healing process gradually disappeared. After the desert came reintegration with the Body of Christ and I was also restored to fellowship with God.

Even picking up the trumpet again after laying off it for 24 years has been part of the healing process. Every test of faith that I am put through is part of the healing process. It just goes on and on.

Losing my 30 year career and having to learn a radically different occupation is part of the process. Every single thing that happens to me is part of making me into the person that I was originally meant to be.

Your multiples friend... only God can set the time and the path for his healing IF God chooses to heal him. I was in a relationship when I was healed that both of us had been absolutely certain would lead to marriage. My healing destroyed that relationship. He had fallen in love with a woman that no longer existed and everything about him became a weight that was holding me back from growing into the new me.

I spent 30 years mentally ill. So far, I have spent 28 years in the healing process. This ain't no picnic people. I would never have chosen to have had my mind broken, but do you want to know why I would be willing to go through this healing process a thousand more times? Because it is why I know God.

 

[razeontherock]

Wow, quite a testimony there! My point is I recently came across somebody that could really benefit from your book, when you get it finished. Can I be so bold as to suggest that during your 13 year desert, if you matured G-d wasn't really silent? If something good came out of it, I think He must have been involved somehow. I mention this because maybe it will enrich your ability to see His hand in your life now .. always a good thing when that happens.

 

[Janet842]

I'm sure God orchestrated the entire spiritual desert thing and brought to pass every experience in it, but maturing did happen in silence. I went from having conversations with God to nothing. I went from being able to enter the Holy of Holies in worship to feeling like two "bouncer" angels were posted at the entrance to keep me out. I went from continual manifestations of the Holy Spirit to nothing. And prayers? It seemed the sky was made of brass and no prayer could reach God because of it. I also went through a period where I was so lonely that just hearing the checker at the grocery store say "Did you find everything you need?" was a huge relief – WOW! Human contact!!

There's a really excellent movie (made from the book) called "The Chosen" (starring Maximilian Schell, Rod Steiger, Robby Benson). Have you ever seen it? A major part of the story is about a boy who is raised in silence and what the effects of that did to him as a person. That movie explains the silence process very well.