She lied about rape?!?!?!

[beetlequeendiva]

My best friend told me she was raped and she wasn't... she lied to me.... why would she lie to ME about that knowing all of the s**t i've been through In actual fact she had an affair with a friend of ours and is pregnant... in her mind she'll get more sympathy if she's pregnant by rape and not as a result of an affair. She even got police involved!!!! The man she is accusing is torn apart through this. I'm not excusing the affair, obviously that was still wrong but she lied about rape!!!! And what's worse is that she told me first, she told me 2 days before she told anybody else and I believed her and supported her fully!!!!! She told me just before an exam. we were talking about it during the exam and i could have gotten kicked out because of her!!!! I am so angry and upset..... I really just want to cry now....... Why would she lie about the one thing that hurts me most? WHY????????

 

[wendythepooh]

People lie about things for various reasons. Perhaps it's because she is embarrassed for what she's done. I don't know. But you need to find forgiveness in your heart for her. Does she admit to the lie? This friendship is repairable if you both can be open and loving with each other. If she refuses to tell the truth, then you still must find a way to forgive her, but that doesn't mean you have to trust her. Forgiveness is a gift, trust is earned.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

No she did not admit the lie - we know she's lying though - obviously i cannot go in to all the details but we do know. i can't forgive her right now, i am still trying to deal with the stuff that has happened to me and she lied about rape..... that is not fair

 

[wendythepooh]

I know it isn't fair. Not fair at all, to anyone. It may take a long time, but take your anger to God, honey. He will help you learn to forgive her. The hurt is fresh right now, and that is perfectly understandable. God will listen to you and comfort you. Have you told her that you know she is lying? Perhaps when you are calm, after you've given your hurt and anger to God, you can tell her in a gentle way that you are hurt that she did this. Just be sure you have prayed about it alot first so that you don't go to her in your anger, but in a calm and loving manner.

 

[Macrina]

It is difficult to forgive someone who hasn't repented. What I would focus on right now is healing for yourself, because that is what you have control over. To have reconciliation with her, she will need to do part of the work, too. But what you have to do right now is take care of you, nurture your spirit through your own healing process. This raised a lot of issues for you and of course you are angry that she did that unecessarily. But put your energy into allowing God to heal your heart, and that will in turn make it easier to heal the friendship.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

thanks Erin, I guess last night I was just really angry - having had time to sleep on it, i'm doing a bit better this morning. Really needed to clear my mind and turn my focus

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Well it turns out she lied alot more than what I first though - she's been lying to me for 4 months about different things. She used to live with me and then said that i was to difficult to live with - she made me feel like utter ****!!! Anyway I found out on sunday that she actually moved out so she could continue her little affair. Anyway now we're not talking at all because she can't understand why I think she's lying - I know she's lying!!!! She slipped up and so now I know!!! I'm really hurt