Shallowness: I need advice

[kleptobismol]

i've always been pretty shallow when it comes to guys. guys who have fantastic personalities but arent too attractive have always been no more than friends, and i have always chosen better looking guys who many times have no personality.
this is really bothering me. i want to change but for some reason i just cant bring myself to go out with an unattractive guy. when the time comes for me to marry, i kno i will have problems becuz if i marry a guy who is good looking but has no personality, then the marriage would never work out and would end in like a few monthes.
i need advice...this is really bothering me...

 

[TheMainException]

My little sister! I send you my love! God be with you always! My advice is to pray hard daily over this. It is a personality change that needs help from God. Seek him on this issue, eventually you will be the change you wish to see. Peace, hope, and faith be yours my sister...with all love from Christ who lives in me, Lauren

 

[kleptobismol]

thank you so much...i will pray constantly about this!

 

[fishstix]

i've always been pretty shallow when it comes to guys. guys who have fantastic personalities but arent too attractive have always been no more than friends, and i have always chosen better looking guys who many times have no personality.
this is really bothering me. i want to change but for some reason i just cant bring myself to go out with an unattractive guy. when the time comes for me to marry, i kno i will have problems becuz if i marry a guy who is good looking but has no personality, then the marriage would never work out and would end in like a few monthes.
i need advice...this is really bothering me...

You are ahead of most people in that you recognize in your head that looks aren't everything even though you haven't yet got your heart to follow suit. I know this isn't what you want to hear - but maturing will do a lot for you. You're only 15 right now and while part of you may seem ready to get into the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, the rest of you still has a lot of growing up to do. And there's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people my age still have a lot of growing up to do before they're really ready to start dating. The fact that you've started recognizing that you'll need more than just good looks for a happy marriage is a really good indicator that you have done some growing already. But there's still lots more to go - and you'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you hold off on dating until every part of you catches up in maturity. In the meantime, work on maturing in God and in all the different aspects of your life And develop lots of 'just' friendships with people of both genders. Someone who knows you well and is more mature than you - such as your mother or some other close female relative should be able to help you determine when you are ready for romantic relationships. I can't tell you exactly what age that will be as it is different for everyone.

 

[EmSchmem]

kleptobismol
I think it's great that you want to change. Praying will definately help as will just plain growing up. Remember to show yourself some grace. You are no less wonderful to God because of this and He will honor your desire to change. He is the one that will change you.

 

[kleptobismol]

thanx guyz!

 

[Sketcher]

You're very perceptive for a 15 year old. The way most of us learn this is by getting burned by a love interest who turns out to be a shallow airhead. Pray that you somehow learn the easy way. I learned the hard way, I can't tell you what the easy way is.

 

[InTheFlame]

Klepto like others said, good on you for recognising the problem. But where does it come from? Have you been taught by someone that looks are most important (parents maybe)? Is it a pride thing (I don't want to be seen with someone my classmates will laugh at)? Understanding why you're thinking this way might help a lot in changing the way you think... ask God for help in working it out!

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi kleptobismol ,

Consider the order of relationship here , Also .

How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! ... <-----> Song of Solomon 4:10

Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife ... <-----> 1st Corinthians 9:5

Your comments are cause to ponder - Do good looks stiffle personality , or do not so good looks foster good personality .

As in those to whom appearance gives advantage may be prone to vanity .

While those who can't use their looks for gain , are compelled to dig deeper for something in which to excel .

The more spiritual we become the less the physical matters , potentially even to the point of not hungering for a physical mate , good looking or otherwise .

Often we find that what we can dream of , far exceeds what this world has to offer ; But the world which is to come with Christ's return , is far better than we could ever imagine .

If you're already favoring substance over appearance , this is a good part of being spiritually minded .

...To be spiritually minded is life and peace. <----> Romans 8:6

May We Wait Upon The Lord , And Be Rewarded For Doing So ,

wm