Shallow is as shallow does?

[Katz]

Hello everyone.

I’ve actually been kinda MIA on these boards so this is my first post. Haha. Anyways.

I was talking to one of my girls about Valentine’s Day and gradually it became a ‘what kind of guy are you into?’ kinda conversation. Well, we’re both single so of course we made our list of the qualities and characteristics, but we also mentioned physical attractiveness.

I believe that physical attractiveness has to matter and has to play a part in a relationship otherwise, where does the passion come from? A passion-less relationship doesn’t work well either just as much as a love-less relationship doesn’t.

Anyways--- This is my thing: We both noticed that when our friends try to set us up with people, they always say this—“well, he’s a nice guy and he has a great personality! *insert hopeful grin*”

Don’t get me wrong, content is very important, but is it so shallow of me that I want to be with someone who’s physically attractive?

 

[the_man]

Don’t get me wrong, content is very important, but is it so shallow of me that I want to be with someone who’s physically attractive?

No.

 

[MrDude]

Don’t get me wrong, content is very important, but is it so shallow of me that I want to be with someone who’s physically attractive?

Definitly not.

 

[Paul 888]

not at all......... i get so sick of people telling me i'm shallow for wanting someone attractive..... .clearly it is not the only criteria, but it is a criteria and its one of teh core ones that i will not compromise on ie

Smart
Funny
Attractive
Nice Hearted
Christian (funny enough this one is the easiest for me to compromise on cause i just don't meet any christian girls i like grrrrrrr)

 

[Thithy]

I don't think it's shallow. It's just shallow if that's the only thing you base the relationship on. And as I've said in many posts similar to this one, once you get to know a person, they can become attractive, even if you hadn't thought so previously.

 

[gizmo03]

I agree, I don't think it is shallow at all. Looks isn't on the top of my list, but being involved with someone who you find physically attracted is helpful.

And I feel the exact same as Thithy, the person would eventually become attractive to you the longer you are with them and the more feelings developed there.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

not even a little bit shallow.

 

[Katty]

Funny thing, I had this conversation with someone this past weekend too.

Sure, I care about the more 'intimate' side of a guy, but I want a guy who I find attractive, too. Likewise, I want him to think I'm beautiful too... not just that I have a 'nice personality' and that I'm 'fun to be around.'

~Katty

 

[wvmtnkid]

The funny thing about physical attractiveness is that it is relative. What I might think of as attractive, you might not. But I do think you should be with someone you are attracted to. And sometimes another things, such as character, kindness, etc... help make someone more attractive to you. There was a guy that I worked with for awhile that was very handsome. But, he was a jerk. To me, when I looked at him I didn't see the handsomeness as much as I seen the jerkiness. However, he was never without female companionship (which was a big way for him to attract females), until the jerkiness came out and it ran the girl off!

So, anyway, yes I think attraction is important. And when someone wants to set you up with someone, and the only thing they can say about him/her is that they have a great personality-beware!

 

[waterbear]

Hello everyone.

I’ve actually been kinda MIA on these boards so this is my first post. Haha. Anyways.

I was talking to one of my girls about Valentine’s Day and gradually it became a ‘what kind of guy are you into?’ kinda conversation. Well, we’re both single so of course we made our list of the qualities and characteristics, but we also mentioned physical attractiveness.

I believe that physical attractiveness has to matter and has to play a part in a relationship otherwise, where does the passion come from? A passion-less relationship doesn’t work well either just as much as a love-less relationship doesn’t.

Anyways--- This is my thing: We both noticed that when our friends try to set us up with people, they always say this—“well, he’s a nice guy and he has a great personality! *insert hopeful grin*”

Don’t get me wrong, content is very important, but is it so shallow of me that I want to be with someone who’s physically attractive?

No more shallow than other preferences in a mate

Setups can be pretty annoying - gender reversed that's the same line I get. Even the notion of a 'great personality' is very subjective - I find people think people who have personalities agreeable to them have great personalities. That doesn't mean I'd find the personality great at all.

All that ignores that I've yet to be setup with someone I'm physically attracted to.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Anyways--- This is my thing: We both noticed that when our friends try to set us up with people, they always say this—“well, he’s a nice guy and he has a great personality! *insert hopeful grin*”

Don’t get me wrong, content is very important, but is it so shallow of me that I want to be with someone who’s physically attractive?

It can be. If you don't give an 'unattractive' person (at first glance) a chance to get to know then I believe that is shallow. What Thithy wrote is true, and I know this from personal experience. I was not at all attracted to a guy that I met in a church group, but as I got to know him the attractiveness came. That's why I believe that it is shallow if you don't give an 'unattractive' person a chance to get to know.

There's a bonus side too, it's been my experience that the 'unattractive' guys are the one with the best jobs-doctors, lawyers, surgeons, professors LOL. These guys are going to be wealthy someday, and ya gotta plan for the future

DW

 

[Cherub8]

God knows what is best for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. If we are trusting in Him, He will provide a mate to whom we are attracted in every sense of the word. We needn't worry about that. He knows the desires of our heart. We should also be open to the possibility that God will change our perspective.

The problem nowadays is this obsession with serial dating.
It is ridiculous, at best, to date someone you don't even know.
Ever wonder why the divorce rate is 55 percent?

For myself, I plan to be good friends with a girl before we become romantically involved. I made a mistake last time; I'm not about to let it happen again.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

No more shallow than other preferences in a mate

That's about the best answer there is IMO.

 

[ChrisWins]

These guys are going to be wealthy someday, and ya gotta plan for the future

Oh, man, if you're talkin' about monetary wealth that's just wrong to even joke about.

 

[Glorianna]

No, it's definitely not shallow of you. What WOULD make you shallow however is if you think that looks are the most important thing.

 

[theophilus05]

Being attracted to someone means different things. We are attracted to different people for different reasons. I always think about girls that I think are gorgeous and then when they open their mouth I am turned off instantly when I hear the stuff they are talking about. I have had my share of gorgeous girls (the kind that when you see me and this girl walking together you hear people say, "what is she doing with him" or "she could do so much better") and the kind of girls that maybe arent the most beautiful but for the most part the girls Ive dated have all had beautiful character.

-Matt

 

[mixiejoeusa]

Lets be real, have we ever heard someone say...I had to break up with that person, they were to pretty, or their butt was too perfect...dumped them....hahaha

If God didn't want us to have chemistry with someone, why would he have given us the gift of passion? We just have to be careful that we make sure the person makes you happy on all levels.

Jessica

 

[OhhJim]

Oh, man, if you're talkin' about monetary wealth that's just wrong to even joke about.

Actually, it's a very common thing, and has been for thousands of years. The Bible doesn't condemn marrying for money. I don't believe the Bible condemns marrying for any "wrong" reason (except marrying a non-Christian, of course).

 

[WITNESS8]

Personally, I do not believe that you can marry someone that you are not attracted to ev
For instance, there is this gentleman at church who at first did not catch my eye at all. He was just another man. As I started watching him, observing, I became attracted to him. When I think about he is not really my type, but his inward beauty continues to make him more handsomer on the outside.
So I think that you must give all men a chance if you are into dating.
I have heard many stories of women who married men they thought were cute but once they are married their husband became the hottest man on earth to them. LOL.



IN HIM

 

[Cherub8]

This topic makes me sad, because yet again it seems we are missing an important point.