Diane_Windsor
Senior Contributor
ChrisWinston said:
Not it's not, and short men also seem to have the best jobs too . Hey, it's the hubby's main job to support the family.
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Not it's not, and short men also seem to have the best jobs too . Hey, it's the hubby's main job to support the family.
Cherub8
Soli Deo Gloria
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We do not need to be concern about looks. That isn't even an issue. Do you think God will force us to marry someone who we do not find attractive? Of course not.the_man said:
There has to be passion, spiritual as well as physical; but the point is, we needn't worry about that. God has it taken care of. First, we must be friends with the person, and God will take care of the rest. I hope I'm making some sense.
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BeautyForAshes
Senior Veteran
Cherub8 said:
Exactly Cherub. Do we think the Father will promise us a prize, but instead give us a snake? (I can't recall the verse off the top of my head) Gosh no. He knows what will "light your fire". And if He can soften hearts of the most evil of people (Saul of Tarsus), don't you think He could soften ours as well?
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Cherub8 said:
Okay, so the point then would be that by noticing looks it's possible to determine attraction? When I decide that someone is unattractive, that's granted an ideal personality (i.e. I'll assume someone's personality is ideal until I know better [in this context]) - thus there is no significant chance of some attraction forming through a relationship.
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Diane_Windsor said:
Quite the contrary (the height/wealth correlation):
http://slate.msn.com/?id=2063439
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Diane_Windsor said:I'd like to see the studies that this author cites.
DW
Using Google, I found:
http://cms.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20031020-000002.html
and the study cited is supposidly available (if you want to pay):
http://www.psycinfo.com/psycarticles/index.cfm?fuseaction=toc&jrn=apl&vol=89&iss=3
4th entry.
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the_man
" My heart is spoken for&
waterbear said:
One thing I've noticed when talking about looks/physical attraction is that it is difficult for most people to find a balance. I.E. it is either looks/physical attraction is all there is or it doesn't matter at all. The truth lies inbetween; we should not make it more or less than it is.
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goat37
Skeet, skeet!
I will probably get flamed for saying this, but...
I do not believe that God has someone picked out for each of us, and I don't believe that it is up to God if we marry or not, etc... God gave us free will and our personalities for a reason... and that's because I believe he wants us to do it on our own. He wants us to let ourselves find the person that we will be happy with, and love... and should you get married, then God will bless that marriage... but I don't believe for a second that God actually plays a role in finding your mate -
With that said... it is not shallow in the slightest to want to be with someone you are attracted to. Because, as it was stated earlier, attractiveness is very relative and subjective. My 'type' may not be someone else's, and vice versa. You can't have a good healthy relationship if your mate is someone you don't want to look at, lol.
What is shallow... is as one of my friends did "You know... my girl is REALLY dumb. She always says the most ridiculous things, she doesn't understand my humor, she is mean and vindictive, is a gold digger, and is really no fun to be around... BUT... she's really hot, so I can put up with it"
When looking for a mate, you have to go with what you like, and what fits you... and that goes for their personality AND looks.
I do not believe that God has someone picked out for each of us, and I don't believe that it is up to God if we marry or not, etc... God gave us free will and our personalities for a reason... and that's because I believe he wants us to do it on our own. He wants us to let ourselves find the person that we will be happy with, and love... and should you get married, then God will bless that marriage... but I don't believe for a second that God actually plays a role in finding your mate -
With that said... it is not shallow in the slightest to want to be with someone you are attracted to. Because, as it was stated earlier, attractiveness is very relative and subjective. My 'type' may not be someone else's, and vice versa. You can't have a good healthy relationship if your mate is someone you don't want to look at, lol.
What is shallow... is as one of my friends did "You know... my girl is REALLY dumb. She always says the most ridiculous things, she doesn't understand my humor, she is mean and vindictive, is a gold digger, and is really no fun to be around... BUT... she's really hot, so I can put up with it"
When looking for a mate, you have to go with what you like, and what fits you... and that goes for their personality AND looks.
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OhhJim
Often wrong, but never in doubt
goat37 said:
Not from me, you won't. I've been saying this all along. I think it's just a fantasy that God has someone picked out just for us. There's no scripture to back up that viewpoint, and as you say, it flies in the face of FreeWill.
I think God is a lot more interested in how we treat our spouse than in who that spouse is.
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I'm Lovin God Always
Well-Known Member
There are those who are biting their tongues reading that because they believe that a Christian who is hot should be able to love and be able to be married to a Christian who is not. It is possible. But it is truly very rare. They believe that love is ONLY on the inside and looks play no part in love. That is false. They believe that a hot Christian should fall in love with and marry the not hot Christian because then that love will automatically make the not hot Christian appear hot in the hot Christian's eyes. False.
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Cherub8
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So if your fiance was in a car accident and his face got messed up, would you break off the marriage?I'm Lovin God Always said:
You're talking to a strawman. Nobody ever said we have to marry anyone. Perhaps you should go back and read BeautyForAshes' and my comments earlier on in the topic.
God bless
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the_man
" My heart is spoken for&
I'm Lovin God Always said:
I agree with your point...but who is hot and who is not?
And the love we are talking about is really the romantic kind (eros), this doesn't mean we should not love (charity) our brothers and sisters in Christ.
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the_man said:
I'd imagine most people have a mix - while I require physical attraction in a potnetial mate, that's not my only requirement (that is to say, it's possible to have a perfect physical form yet I still wouldn't have romantic interest). Likewise, I truly doubt that anyone will accept someone as a mate even if this person has a perfect personality/excellent relationship with God if this person is arbitrarily physically unappealing. Thus, everyone has some standards for physical attraction and some standards for personality/spirituality, people just vary in what exactly those standards happen to be - some standards are relatively easily met, some are very rarely met. The individual would seem best suited to ascertain the appropriateness of his/her standards; the standards serve to assure romantic commitments will be made appropriately for the individual who shall be honoring these commitments.
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Tuffguy
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Sure its shallow,,, the trick is to find someone just as shallow as you!!! LOL
I think appearances are important. Naturally, its a touchy subject because, not only are appearances/attractions subjective but people also associate their feelings on this subject with how attractive they think they are. I work out and keep myself in really good shape. Its not too much to ask that my mate does the same.
Yet people still think i'm a jerk for saying that. Why? Because they don't keep themselves in good shape and they're sensitive about it. All i can say is, grow up.
I think appearances are important. Naturally, its a touchy subject because, not only are appearances/attractions subjective but people also associate their feelings on this subject with how attractive they think they are. I work out and keep myself in really good shape. Its not too much to ask that my mate does the same.
Yet people still think i'm a jerk for saying that. Why? Because they don't keep themselves in good shape and they're sensitive about it. All i can say is, grow up.
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